DISCLAIMER – I really do love my children – the love I have for them takes my breath away.
But today I just want them all to leave me alone.
If I have to stop one more fight, change one more nappy, empty the potty for the 8th time, wipe another bum, or get more EAT EAT EAT for No.2 – my head is going to explode.
This house is stocked from head to toe with cars, lego, half-nude Barbies, cars, My Little Ponies, games, cars, tractors, dinosaurs, tents, cars, books – but all my children want is me.
I’ve tried telling them that “I’m not here” today but they didn’t fall for it.
Sometimes they can tell when I’m completely worn down and are smart enough to play on it. They know I’ll say yes to anything to keep the peace.
“Yes you can have an ice cream for breakfast but finish your lollipop first” (this was a day I wasn’t particularly proud of).
And there is nowhere to hide in my house. Not even the walk-in robe is safe because they can reach the door handles.
The next house we live in I’m going to put swipe cards on each door, like a hotel. That will slow them down.
The only room with a lock on it is our bathroom and I’m not that desperate – yet!
And in a moment of weakness yesterday I promised face painting and am now being nagged every minute to do it.
No.3 has been body slamming into me for the past 10 minutes, having just learned how to do this from No.2.
In addition to having three noisy, cheeky, needy kids, every room of my house has been trashed and I’m trying to muster up the energy and motivation to do it. The thing is, once it’s clean and tidy it reverts to a trash heap within hours. But I’m one of these people that get a feeling of euphoria once my house is immaculate. Sad but true.
And all I can hear is the sound of an annoying ride-on toy that the Husband just fixed for No.3.
I’m off the bathroom.