I promised myself a wouldn’t be a helicopter mum – circling my offspring like they’re prey, keeping a close eye on their every move.
But if you call my girl stinky, me and my tuck-shop arms will come flapping in your direction.
It’s not the act of name calling in itself, because let’s face it every kid does it – it’s the fact the name calling was constant and it made her not want to go to daycare.
I’m not known for my ”thinking before I speak”, and most of the time I call a spade a spade – even if it isn’t. This isn’t always conducive to a amiable outcome.
So when No.1 was visibly upset about the continue name calling I had to have my say. It was in the form of a very long email – written at 4am in the morning after I couldn’t sleep.
In hindsight the ”Bull in a China shop approach” probably wasn’t the best way to address the issue, but it served as a great lesson for me. A reminder to pull my head in and realise that everyone has a story – and some kids aren’t as lucky as mine in regards to their stable family background.
Needless to say the wee girl in question doesn’t exactly have a charmed home life so was probably acting out for that reason, she also had older siblings who taught her the joys of swearing (which No.1 will probably do to my No.2 and No.3)
Here’s a few extracts of my email – some of which I regret – some I think FIGJAM!!!
“Most days in her class a group of girls tell she is stinky and that she can’t play with them. It’s fine that they don’t want her to play with them as you can’t make children be friends.
“There is no hygiene problem No. 1 is not stinky and I know it’s just a cruel taunt by some clicky group of girls who appear to be allowed to rule the classroom/playground. (FIGJAM)
“We reassure her at home that she is not stinky and to tell a carer. And while she does seem reasonably happy, I’m fearful the constant taunts will whittle her confidence levels down, especially a whole year of them, and in her year before school.
“If you’re constantly being told something, you often end up believing it.” (FIGJAM)
“Of course I have spoken to her teachers and one of them said ‘well next time I just won’t tell you’ eg when someone says something mean to her.”
“This is not acceptable and at the time I was tempted to bring it up with you, however, for fear that No.1 would be treated differently by her I did not.
As for addressing the problem, I don’t know if her careers fully understand how devastating it is to know your child is sad because she is told every day she is stinky.
“Each day I drop her off with a heavy heart (and heavy load , thinking, here I am paying to put my child in a place where she is being picked on.
“In fact, most days I hurry to pick her up, despite still having a heavy workload, just in case she is playing by herself or sad.”
The end result was that my complaint was used as a way to apply for more money for another carer to be placed in the room and help the child and keep an eye on her.
So while maybe I overreacted a little bit – I’m kind of glad I did.
However – I’ve backed off a bit in regards to the school yard taunts and complaints – because like the Husband says – you can’t fight your kids battles.
No matter how much you want to!!!!