I just walked in to my son’s room and I wish I hadn’t – it’s like the wardrobe just spewed its entire contents on the floor, and every drawer, container did the same thing.
I’m not exaggerating – see below !!! (and yep that’s Connect 4 strewn all over the floors, some 40-odd annoying red and yellow discs all ready for No.3 to choke on)
This is what happens when you trust your kids to play ”teachers” nicely in their bedroom. The silence should’ve been a dead giveaway but I was trying get a bloody overdue editorial through so I ignored the voice in my head, of which there are many at times.
I usually only listen to the one that says, ”it’s okay – it’s a day ending in y you can have a wine”.
Obviously it was silly of me to think that putting toys in containers with lids and putting them out of reach would mean the offspring couldn’t or wouldn’t get them. WRONG.
And the reason I’m blogging on this instead of cleaning up my breakfast dishes, washing, tidying the kids’ rooms is that I thought it might a.) make you appreciate what an awesome mother you are because you would NEVER let your kids have free rein of the house – or b.) serve as a reminder to NEVER TRUST YOU KIDS.
I had plans to leave the house today, in fact I needed to see a friendly face other than my children and husband but it’s not happening and I’m kind of depressedly excited about it.
Just like we have Stinky Saturdays – eg no bath – I’ve coined a new term – F*&k All Fridays. It’s a pretty self explanatory description but I’ll elaborate.
Here’s some rules of F*& All Fridays:
- I don’t get the kids out of their pj’s unless they’re covered in poo or wee (depending on how much I might even let that slide) or it’s time for their evening bath.
- I leave my dishes until I can’t see my bench anymore.
- Lunch can be anytime of the day, 10am, 2pm or not at all if the kids forget about it.
- I turn a blind eye to the feral mess unfolding in all bedrooms.
- I screen calls and only answer the ones I can moan if I have the urge.
- Ditto with the door, I don’t answer it unless it’s the parcel or pizza man.
- The TV can be turned on at anytime (not surprisingly this hasn’t happened today – the little mess makes are too busy destroying the house)
- And I pretty much say yes to everything because ‘it’s good to me day’ – I stole this quote from my BFF but she won’t mind.
- I won’t leave the house unless emergency volunteers forcibly remove me for my own safety because my house is about to burn down or get blown away.
So I plan to completely ignore my children for as long as they’re trashing their room – just another thing to put down on my MOTHER OF THE YEAR application!
In the time I have written this – half of the toys are in the halfway, stuffed in beds, shoes and orifices. On a brighter note they are hurling toys into the wrong containers at a great rate of knots because I’ve offered them a reward to do so, leftover Halloween treats!
(And the winner of Best Mum 2012…..ME)