Something inside of me snapped today – but I think it was for the best.
After a hellish day of trying to work from home with three kids underfoot, I was about to start my usual witching-hour stress and clean up when I stalled.
I literally stopped in my tracks and thought, ‘why the hell am I going to do this to myself again’?
Usually there’s a little voice inside my head encouraging me to hurry up and get dinner on the table by 5.45, tidy up every room in the house, set the table, get the kids clothes ready for after the bath, and generally rush around like a grumpy, headless chicken just so my routine isn’t delayed.
But tonight that need to make sure everything was perfect wasn’t there. I had no annoying voice stressing me out.
It was replaced by an awesome calm (and no I wasn’t drinking), and I realised that it didn’t really matter if we ate late, or if the kids were to bed late and most importantly who gives a shit if every single toy isn’t picked up off the floor.
I honestly feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This might be me giving myself a break – and to be honest, it’s a much-needed one.
In saying that my kitchen is immaculate, but that’s because I have a thing for spotless benchtops.
So while things happened later than usual, the kids are finally asleep, no thanks to those flying beetles bugging us Gold Coasters at the moment.
The kids freaked out just before bedtime after some flying Christmas beetles, as we used to call them in NZ, got inside and caused havoc.
I sent the Husband to get rid of them and then went to show the kids they were all gone, but the Husband has missed two, so the screams continued for another 20 minutes.
Never send a boy to do a man’s job.
So I went out with the whacker, turned the lights on full tit and smashed three more. I then moved to reassure my babies that mumma had sorted the problem.
There is now a certain calm in our household. It’s probably like this every night but I don’t usually feel it, because I’m worried about routines, mess and chaos.
While I can’t guarantee there won’t be days when I will be a stickler for my routine, but I really feel like I’ve had a break through today.
It’s time to be good to me, especially when my workload is so high. I think I’ve finally realised it’s okay to let some (more) things slide.
Maybe working mums and mums with multiple kids need to do this a bit more. Isn’t there already enough for us to feel guilty about?
Like the fact I still haven’t told my daughter she is going to the ‘murder house’ tomorrow!