Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!


No expectations for 2013 will mean no disappointments

So I’ve made it through 2012 without being put in a funny farm, my husband divorcing me, my family disowning me and my friends turning their backs on me (well most of them anyhow).

This year has been one of the hardest yet as a mother, but I’ve come out the other side and it’s due to all of the above mentioned.

I can’t say I’ve been a delight to live with this year, and have done A LOT of moaning about my lot. Looking back I can see it must have been bloody annoying to all those around me.

From the outside looking in I know many friends would love to have three children very close together, yet some can’t because of circumstances, age etc etc.

We didn’t plan to have 3 children in 3.5 years, it was a surprise for us – but the best one ever.


(my three angels just a day ago)

I admit it’s taken me a year to really get my head around it all and accept I have three children.

I bet this sounds silly to most people but I’m a planner and three wasn’t the plan.

But it was the best thing to ever happen to me, I’m a better person, mother and wife because of No.3.

This year I’ve had to move around a lot of ideals, expectations and emotions in my head and heart, and do some real soul searching.

I look around and see other mums doing a much better job than me and I do feel a bit sorry for my three at times, mainly because I just don’t have as much time to spend individually with all three.

I also battle having patience most days but I’m working on this, eg taking time outside or going to another room until the screaming dies down.

Life as well as work is to blame for this – but we do a lot of things altogether as a family and I hope makes up for this a little bit.

However, I’m overly generous in my love, affection, cuddles and I hope this makes up for the times when I’m cranky, impatient and growly.

This new year brings with it a chance for me to shine again, reconnect, get fit, be more patient with my children and appreciate the Husband more.

I don’t believe in resolutions because if I’ve learned one thing this year it’s not to place unrealistic expectations on myself.

Wishing you all a gorgeous, happy and healthy 2013 with lots of laughter, cuddles and kisses.


Emily 🙂

Linking up with Alicia – One Mother Hen – for Open Slather Monday – thanks Alicia




A newbie’s prospective on the world of blogging and my three-month review!

I’ve only been part of the blog world since October this year – and I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to get involved.

What a great group of bloggers you all are – and I’m not just saying that, because it’s not my style.

(this is more my style)

Seriously though, everyone has so much to share, laughter, pain, inspiration and happiness.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is that it takes HOURS and HOURS a day to keep up with everyone and become a top blogger.

I literally don’t have enough hours in the day to try but I do enjoy writing and so will join many of you each week.

And for those who offer me the chance to link up thanks!

I don’t have a year in review but here are titles of a few of my blogs, just as an overview:


I once got an ‘f’ for sportsmanship
It’s not a democracy it’s a dictatorship
Children of the Corn
Don’t call my daughter stinky
A little term I like to call f*&k all Fridays
Life is frustrating when you can’t stand slowness
I’m never going to let my young children watch TV, each Maccas or have a dummy (yeah right)

(No.3’s falling out of cot carpet burn)


The urges of a Virgo start from an early age
It’s a blog eat blog world, and fishing for turds
The wonderful world of boisterous boys
Baby just threw himself out of the cot
Bye-bye supermum hello give a shit mum
I skydived nude and other things you didn’t know about me.
Nothing like a shit show to start a Monday
My three-year-old is denying me kisses already
Learn to let go of something – no matter how much you love them
Look what lunacy happens when you get drunk with a former model



Mums should support not stab other mothers
At action-packed drive to the movies, why I love selfies, bogans and Team Jacob
Someone will always come say when you’ve just farted at the supermarket
Hello my name’s Emily and I’m addicted to weighing myself
Freaking out about big girl school
Mr Hanky the Christmas pool nearly visited our pool


And some other interesting facts about me:

* At university I once had a flat warming so awesome that two fire engines comes, 8 kegs were drunk and it made it into the local newspaper.

* I’ve skydived (not naked, but I would if it was free to do so, and that there was no chance my boobs would knock me out during free fall). I have also bungy jumped, bridge swung, been on all the adrenalin rides I can find and I would do them all again in a heartbeat if I had the money.

* I was riding motorbikes at age 4, driving Land Rovers on the farm at age 12 and I have my awesome parents to thank for not wrapping me in cotton wool.

* Three days before the September 11 attacks I was in one of the World Trade Towers in New York with a group of friends who lived there with me.

Thanks to those that have taken the time to visit my blog and read – I hope I’ve been able to give you some amusement.

Life is so hard, stressful and serious at times that I try to make light of some of it.

But I know everyone has some serious shit going on and I don’t make fun of that – just my own life.

I can’t wait to follow your lives in 2013 and to feel supported in my quest to cope with WAHM to three angels!

HTC photos 013
(I wish I still had these glasses)


Emily 🙂

Thanks Grace – linking up with you this FYBF special 2012 Highlights edition.


Our cherubs enjoying Christmas for Wordless Wednesday

Finally a post with a Christmas theme – every night we see houses decorated, it’s the highlight of our children’s days.

Christmas is a magical time for children and I absolutely love watching their eyes and hearts light up at this time of year.






(The candle I lit for those baby souls taken in Connecticut)






It’s a Wordless Wednesday link up with Trish from My Little Drummer Boys

My Little Drummer Boys

And the lovely Ai Sakura from Sakura Haruka

And Bree from Twinkle in the Eye

Happy Christmas PEEPS!!!!


Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo nearly visited our pool

As I’m writing this, my first blog in a week (gasp – say all you super bloggers) an awesome thunderstorm is happening around me.

Although I’m sure no one really cares about why I’ve been absent for a week I’m going to tell you – newspaper deadlines.

For those who’ve had to met them, you know the stress. Okay so what I’m doing now isn’t quite as stressful as when I worked on a daily paper, but it’s still hectic.

And I chow through a HEAP of caffeine every day because of it.


(Photo credit – http://www.allwomenstalk.com)

But I’ve meet them and it means I have 2 whole weeks without work and I’m bloody over the moon!

When I hit deadline this morning I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders – truly.

I did a jig, ate some almonds (yep party food for the wanna-be skinny) and sat down for 15 minutes and folded the washing!

After doing some much-neglected household duties I picked up the trio from Kindy nice and early.

We went swimming, it was lovely – especially in 33C heat – until it turned to shit, literally.

About half an hour into our pool session Maddi told me she needed to go to the toilet.

In fairness she had been doing what I like to call ‘poo farts’ in the car on the way home so I knew something was brewing.

But I asked if she could hold on for a bit, because I couldn’t be farked getting out, and she said she could.
Not two minutes later the poor wee sausage was TC (touching cotton) and we had to exit the pool quickly.

Too late, the eagle had landed.

No sweat really, it was our pool area, unlike a week ago when No.2 decided to leave a surprise in a friend’s communal pool.

My poor friend was mortified, luckily no-one saw it, or if they did they just pretended they hadn’t.

So back to the turd burger at my place, instead of letting me help her remove the offending item, Maddi basically dropped her swimmers and hello, out came Mr Hanky – the Christmas Poo!


(Photo credit – southparkstudios.com)

Why oh why can’t my kids just have nice easy, solid logs.

Anyhow, after a lot of scrubbing and washing, I returned to the pool – thank goodness for Chlorine.

Now there’s a lesson to be learned here – Don’t delay now what could turn into a shit fight later!!

What have you delayed or ignored only to have it blow up in your face?!

It’s Tuesday, and just one week until Xmas, so I’m linking up with super blogger Jess at Essentially Jess –


Freaking out about big girl school

My gorgeous, sensitive, caring and funny baby just graduated from Kindy – in a gown and cap no less!

(there she is at the back, the only one who held up her certificate during the rest of the ceremony)

I cried as she walked down the stage but held it together as she received her certificate because I was so proud and didn’t want her to think I was sad.

This ceremony signals she is about to start big girl school and I’m about to lose my first-born to the ‘real world’.

It also means that I am no longer in control of what she does and who does what to her – like put her at the back row for her Xmas concert dance group.

This broke my heart, she’s been practising for weeks and got plonked at the back and I could honestly not see her.

It can’t be because she was the tallest because she’s not, and they left some poor crying girl at the front while some at the back were dancing their hearts out.

Some kids at the front were doing NOTHING – I could not bloody believe it!


(she’s at the back in a pink dress, a rare moment when I saw a tiny bit of her)

And she was trying sooo hard to get the moves right, I could see her craning her head to see if I was watching, and I was, with a tear in my eye.

The entire song I was frantically trying to see just a tiny bit of her, even her head behind the others, and did finally get a glimpse of her head and waved enthusiastically at her.

And yes I know they couldn’t fit them all across the stage in a long line, but what about rotating them, or having a line of kids do something each.

I’m not having a go at my Kindy, it’s great, but I just felt so sad there were so many kids that could not be seen by their families.

It got me thinking that maybe this kind of stuff is going to happen a lot at school in the next few years and this is why I feel so cut up about her being at the back.

There will always have to be kids that have to stand at the back, or that are chosen last or are ignored by others in the playground – and it aches my heart to think it might happen to my girl.

My trip to the supermarket at 8.30pm the same night was terrible and I ended up getting cranky at a check-out chick when I usually take things in my stride.

I usually would not have cared that she glared, rolled her eyes and snarled at me when I asked an innocent question – but I did that night.

She copped a serve and I told her to stove the attitude and cut me some slack, I even walked out without my receipt.

I then sat in my car and cried for a few minutes about everything.

I’m kinda spewing about not keeping my receipt though, as I do like to see what shopper coupons are on the back – dammit!

But in hindsight maybe I was in mourning, saddened and maddened by the fact that I can no longer protect or shield my girl from the mean, nasty world and that scares the shit out of me.

She is ultra sensitive, especially when other kids are mean to her, and I can’t stand the thought of her feeling sad, rejected or unwanted at school.

What frightens me the most is that older and wiser children at school will realise how vulnerable, trusting and loving she is and take advantage of that.

OMG, why oh why did I ever want my kids to hurry and grow up!

I’m not usually one to dwell on things that I can’t change but this is different, it’s my child, my blood, a life I grew inside of me for 9 months.


(My Maddi moo is all grown up)

Anyone got some wise words for a soon-to-be school mum? Apart from taking a teaspoon of cement to harden the f*&k up?

And yep I’m flogging my blog!!


Hello, my name’s Emily and I’m addicted to weighing myself

I’m currently waging a war against the flab that has decided to call itself home on my body.

To be honest it didn’t just appear, I kind of helped it along its way with too much eating and drinking.

Having three kids in four years used to be my excuse but if I’m honest it’s not really a good one.

It’s just that I don’t have much willpower so I haven’t deprived myself of much in the past few years.

However, I’m now in the zone, a place where I WANT to lose weight, not just for my health but for my happiness.

And you know the tool that I use every day to motivate me?

No not the treadmill in the garage, or my sexy black dress – it’s the mighty digital scales in my bathroom, aka Sally the Scales.


(and yes I did wait until the number had disappeared before taking this pic – see I’m not just a pretty face)

I weigh myself at LEAST 6 times a day, as soon as I wake up, after I have a shower, after breakfast, around noon, after dinner and then before bed.

Obsessed or dedicated? You be the judge.

It might sound a little whacky to some but being a serial weigher (now that can’t be a word) ensures that I’m on track with my weight loss.

I need to know right away if I’m getting results and if I’m not it just motivates me to be stronger and better at it.

If Sally tells me I’m piling it on and I’m hurting her then I don’t get disheartened I get strong.

If she tells me I’m losing weight I become even more determined not to have that bottle of bubbly in the fridge or a loaf of fresh bread with lashings of butter.

In the past four months I’ve lost about 7-8kg, I still have at least 8kg to go but unlike a few months ago, I really have the desire to do it now.

It’s summer, my kids are active and in the water all the time and I want to feel comfy in my own skin again.

Yep I have stretch marks, a jelly belly and I’m not sure my legs will ever be the same – but I know I can feel better about myself if I stick with it.

For too long I have made excuses – it’s time to cut the crap and get my fitness, health and vitality back.

I can’t guarantee I won’t fall off the wagon, especially as Xmas when I totally will drink like a fish, but as long as I can crawl back on it afterwards, then I think I’ll be okay.

Gotta go – Sally is waiting for me.

How often do you weigh yourself and why?

Linking up this Friday with