Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

Freaking out about big girl school

13 Comments

My gorgeous, sensitive, caring and funny baby just graduated from Kindy – in a gown and cap no less!

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(there she is at the back, the only one who held up her certificate during the rest of the ceremony)

I cried as she walked down the stage but held it together as she received her certificate because I was so proud and didn’t want her to think I was sad.

This ceremony signals she is about to start big girl school and I’m about to lose my first-born to the ‘real world’.

It also means that I am no longer in control of what she does and who does what to her – like put her at the back row for her Xmas concert dance group.

This broke my heart, she’s been practising for weeks and got plonked at the back and I could honestly not see her.

It can’t be because she was the tallest because she’s not, and they left some poor crying girl at the front while some at the back were dancing their hearts out.

Some kids at the front were doing NOTHING – I could not bloody believe it!

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(she’s at the back in a pink dress, a rare moment when I saw a tiny bit of her)

And she was trying sooo hard to get the moves right, I could see her craning her head to see if I was watching, and I was, with a tear in my eye.

The entire song I was frantically trying to see just a tiny bit of her, even her head behind the others, and did finally get a glimpse of her head and waved enthusiastically at her.

And yes I know they couldn’t fit them all across the stage in a long line, but what about rotating them, or having a line of kids do something each.

I’m not having a go at my Kindy, it’s great, but I just felt so sad there were so many kids that could not be seen by their families.

It got me thinking that maybe this kind of stuff is going to happen a lot at school in the next few years and this is why I feel so cut up about her being at the back.

There will always have to be kids that have to stand at the back, or that are chosen last or are ignored by others in the playground – and it aches my heart to think it might happen to my girl.

My trip to the supermarket at 8.30pm the same night was terrible and I ended up getting cranky at a check-out chick when I usually take things in my stride.

I usually would not have cared that she glared, rolled her eyes and snarled at me when I asked an innocent question – but I did that night.

She copped a serve and I told her to stove the attitude and cut me some slack, I even walked out without my receipt.

I then sat in my car and cried for a few minutes about everything.

I’m kinda spewing about not keeping my receipt though, as I do like to see what shopper coupons are on the back – dammit!

But in hindsight maybe I was in mourning, saddened and maddened by the fact that I can no longer protect or shield my girl from the mean, nasty world and that scares the shit out of me.

She is ultra sensitive, especially when other kids are mean to her, and I can’t stand the thought of her feeling sad, rejected or unwanted at school.

What frightens me the most is that older and wiser children at school will realise how vulnerable, trusting and loving she is and take advantage of that.

OMG, why oh why did I ever want my kids to hurry and grow up!

I’m not usually one to dwell on things that I can’t change but this is different, it’s my child, my blood, a life I grew inside of me for 9 months.

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(My Maddi moo is all grown up)

Anyone got some wise words for a soon-to-be school mum? Apart from taking a teaspoon of cement to harden the f*&k up?

And yep I’m flogging my blog!!


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Author: Have A Laugh On Me

I'm a mum to three, write from home and I rarely cook, craft or clean but admire those who do. I try to live by the mantra that there's no point in worrying about something that might not happen! Be warned this is not a fluffy, sweet mummy blog, rather a place where you can cringe, laugh and be shocked at my brutally honest take on my life.

13 thoughts on “Freaking out about big girl school

  1. You may not be able to control what others do, but you can control (or influence I should say) how Maddi feels about herself, how she responds in those moments, and really, giving her the confidence in herself is the best gift you can give her. She will go through times when her feelings are hurt – we all did, heck most of us still DO – it’s just a part of life. Hopefully what she’ll remember from those moments is that her mama was there for her, loved her, and gave her the confidence to get back up when she got knocked down. She’s a gorgeous kid, she’ll find other gorgeous kids to be friends with. What on earth did you ask the check out chick that got you an eye roll!??!

  2. Brilliant advice from Aroha there for you. I can’t really offer any more than that. I have one more year with my girl before she goes off to school. I’ve finally stopped wishing the day to come.

    • Yes she’s a smart cookie, hence why one of my BFFs and her son is marrying my daughter so we really have to get along. But yes I no longer wish for time to pass either! It seems she year just flew by and I haven’t had time to get head around it but I will.
      Thanks for stopping by, I really rate your post, it’s very cleverly developed!!
      Emily

  3. I understand completely where you are coming from. It is hard to watch them go out into the big wide world, and even worse when we realise that we are no longer completely in control. She will be fine, you will be fine. There will be bumpy patches but believe me that good out weighs the bad…Take a deep breathe and enjoy the next step of your daughters journey through life, and I will join you as my youngest, my baby takes his next step in life High School 😦
    Visiting your awesome blog via #IBOT

    • You are so right, the good will outweigh the bad and I might just have to harden up a little bit and try to remember I’ve done a good job in teaching her to be positive, caring and honest so I hope that counts for something. Wow high school, now THAT’S freaky!
      Have a great Wednesday! 🙂
      Emily

  4. Naw you brought a tear to my eye! Our eldest is 4 1/2 but we’re not starting him at school until 2014. I don’t want him to grow up, I don’t want him to go to a place where I won’t be there should he get picked on or feel sad or scared… But I guess we all went through it, I guess it’s just another part of life… But I know I’ll be crying in the supermarket carpark just like you x

  5. My girl is 2.5 and asks every day when she can start school! She’s going to be ready looooong before she is actually allowed to go!

    Good luck for the first day (and year). Hoping there are only tears of joy from here on in. x

  6. There will be plenty of back of the pack moments ahead…plus ones where your daughter shines at the front. Preparing her for those moments so she handles each and every occasion with acceptance and good grace is the best thing you can do for her. A lot of adults still can’t handle not being in the limelight….

    Also, you might want to be wary of posting photos of her classmates online unless you have written permission from all the parents/guardians….things could get tricky if a parent protests or lodges a complaint with Privacy Commissioner.

    • You are so right about teaching her good grace, and I was super proud of her because after her performance she mentioned that she was stuck at the back and I told her we could still see her and she wasn’t upset about not being at the front of the pack. Thanks for the tips about posting photos of classmates I’ll keep that in mind for the future. 🙂

  7. It’s hard. My eldest just finished her first year at school and it’s a full-on year – just warning you! She’s very sensitive – add to that all the new people they meet and things they learn, and it can be very overwhelming at times. That said, she has blossomed this year and I’m so proud of her. I hope you have a great year ahead 🙂

    • Thanks so much Francesca, I’m hoping that my eldest will blossom this year too, being around kids the same age as her, although I am still worried about the older kids but I can’t change anything so will have to learn to accept it! Wishing you a happy and healthy 2013 also, Emily 🙂

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