Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

Telling the cops my car was stolen – not my finest hour.


In hindsight, telling the policeman who just pulled me over – with lights flashing – that my car was stolen, probably wasn’t a smart move.

And it was also not my finest hour when I then proceeded to tell the lovely men in blue that there were some real criminals speeding on the highway they should be catching instead of me.

But in my defence I was in shock and upset that I was about to be slugged with a Mcmassive fine right on Christmas.

I know they were only doing their job – these good men and women who are paid a pittance to protect my children and I – but I was pissed.

But I’ll start at the beginning, it was Friday night and I was on my way up to see my little sister 45 minutes away for a night in without the kids.

(here’s me the morning after my night away – excuse the friendly boob)

I had just exited the highway and got off my handsfree phone device and put it on my overnight bag beside me in the front seat.

My phone then rang again, I was stopped at the traffic lights, so I pressed the speaker on button, ONCE, and started talking out loud, not with my phone up to my ear.

I admit, not smart, but it was the Husband, who I had just left with my three very sad kids and I wanted to know they were okay. We spoke for 30 seconds, I didn’t touch my phone again, and let him hang up.

Next thing you know I see cops about to pull over the poor sucker behind me, bless I thought, speeding off the highway exit? no seatbelt? talking on the phone?

I started to get nervous when the police car zoomed up behind me, but I had behaved unusually well on the highway so they couldn’t be after me.

Every swear word under the sun came out of my usually polite mouth, before I wound down the window of course.

Anyway, yada yada, do you know why you’ve been pulled over – no – because you were usually a handheld device blah blah blah.

“No I wasn’t – yes you were – no I wasn’t really – yes you were – no well I wasn’t talking on my phone – yes you were – okay do whatever you need to do.”

Having been a court reporter, and someone who has spoken to and worked with cops on a daily basis for nearly 10 years, I wasn’t going to press the issue because there was no point.

I did what I really hate doing and ”sucked it up princess”.

A few tears of anger and embarrassment escaped my shaded eyes but they passed as soon as a Bruno Mars song came on radio and I turned it up and bopped until my delightful piece of yellow/orange paperwork arrived.

(here it is stashed on top of the ‘inbox’)

But if you’re me, when the cops ask whose car this is, you say it’s my husbands and I’s and it’s actually stolen – just for some light comic relief.

They didn’t bat an eye which is probably why when they said goodbye I told them to go and catch some ‘real baddies’.

Then I poked my tongue out at them.

Okay so I wasn’t that childish but I did utter that smart-ass comment – I can’t help it – sometimes mean things just come out of my mouth.

Anyway I sniffed out the nearest food court, got a HUGE plate of dirty ole’ Chinese and ate the lot without breathing – once. Nothing like emotional eating to make you feel better!

Then I spotted these guys walking in front of me and I couldn’t help but take a photo to use for this post.

(it’s blurry because I was nervous, shaking and walking fast)

I’m fairly sure it’s illegal to do so or is definitely frowned upon, so I took it and RAN.

At my sister’s apartment later that night, where I was having a much-needed kid-free night with bubbly and nibbles, I almost forgot about the incident.

It was really the $350 that hurt the most, I probably lost demerits but meh I’ve got plenty (mental note to self, check demerit point status).

So there is a point to my prattle, DO NOT TOUCH YOUR PHONE EVER WHILE IN THE CAR (especially at the traffic lights) unless it’s mounted.

Am I the only one who is stupid enough to do this and get caught?

Linking up with Jess and her new IBOT team – one of which is a dear friend – Aroha @ Colours of Sunset

Colours of Sunset


Author: Have A Laugh On Me

I'm a mum to three, write from home and I rarely cook, craft or clean but admire those who do. I try to live by the mantra that there's no point in worrying about something that might not happen! Be warned this is not a fluffy, sweet mummy blog, rather a place where you can cringe, laugh and be shocked at my brutally honest take on my life.

34 thoughts on “Telling the cops my car was stolen – not my finest hour.

  1. I will heed your warning and be thankful . I don’t hold the phone to my ear either but I have pressed speaker .

  2. Ah good on you for spreading the word. It’s especially needed at this time of year. Boo to your ticket though 😦 But yay to that lovely Chinese food 🙂

  3. Oh that really does suck! I have been meaning to install my hands free mount ever since I got my new phone back in September but we’ve been having to swap cars a lot at the moment and I just haven’t done it because I never know which car I’ll be in but this is a good reminder to get that second one and just put one in both cars!

    • Yes I never knew they needed to be mounted so will look into that now. I don’t think it’s very well known. I always use a hands free device when on the phone in car but didn’t know the phone had to be mounted. A hard lesson to learn but if it helps motivate others then maybe a good thing?! 🙂

  4. Ah, I will admit that I have blue tooth in the car – but I still have to touch the phone sometimes to make a call! It annoying to get a fine for phone touching when you often pass idiots on the road who appear to get away with much worse! I came over from IBOT.

    • Yes Marleisa, I think that was why I was so rude and upset, surely there are some speedstars out there that could do with a bloody ticket and even better, to lose their licence! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  5. Oh, such a sad start to your lovely night with your Sis 😦
    Hope the rest of your night was better.

  6. I’ve got caught once in a very similar way. It sucked! Rachel x

  7. I’m glad my car has it’s own hands free thing. BUt if I get a sms I do pick it up at the lights and then put it down. Just can’t help my self especially if I know that the lights take for ever.

    • You know had I been in our SUV instead of the wee rocket my husband takes to work they wouldn’t have seen me as I’d be sitting higher. But it’s probably best I got caught because I won’t do it again 🙂

  8. Oh really?! I guess I better get a mount then. I use speaker sometimes.

    • Yeah sounds a little odd and I intend to check the rules out but I will need to get a mount also if it’s the case. From what he said any handheld device had to be mounted if it was to be touched or used.

  9. i yell and yell and yell whenever AK touches his phone when he is driving and I’m in the car – even to change music… i pull out the ‘I DONT CARe WE FOLLOW THE RULES IN THIS FAMILY!!!’ line… i’m terrified of being caught and parting with that much moolah would make me incredible sad… thats at least 30 new items from Forever21 for my wardrobe… just sayin.


    • I hear you about all that hard earned money going to fill the coffers of the useless State Government – especially when there are a million other things I could spend it on, such as rates, water bill, insurance etc. But I’ve learned my lesson 🙂

  10. Oh man!! That SUUUUUCKS!!! I’ve done worse and really truly must be much better behaved. Who the fuck has $350 at Christmas/New Year!?!? Massive hugs honey and thanks for the mention! 😉

    • As you can imagine I was not a happy camper, hence my cheeky/snide remarks, which weren’t appreciated but felt great to say! It’s been a wake up call really but I wish it had happened without the cost 😦

  11. I actually never answer the phone while I’m driving, unless I’m expecting an important call, so I will definitely heed your warning. Glad you had a good night with your sister to help you forget, at least for a little while.
    Bugger about the $350!

  12. Ummmmbahhhh naughty girl!

    $300+ damn!

  13. Urrgh, I hate being stopped by the police – that dreadful feeling in your stomach, and the racing heart – and the $350 does hurt!!!! 🙂

  14. I am always on speaker phone. I didn’t realise you couldn’t use speaker! Wow.
    Now I know.

    • I think you can use speaker phone but to turn on have to have phone mounted. I think I’m going to do research now and post about it, I reckon it would be interesting to know for sure. Thanks for stopping by! Emily

  15. Oh that sucks big time! Hubby got a speeding fine 2 weeks before Christmas, I was pretty livid, such a waste of money. I will be more careful about the phone, I do the same as you and talk on speaker phone.

  16. I always keep my phone in my handbag on the floor of the passenger seat – that way you are not tempted to pick it or hear it for that matter. It works for me 🙂

  17. I’m very impressed that you found a way to make me laugh at being pulled over by the cops. Darn good writing. Also impressed that all it took to get over the incident was a Bruno Mars song! I really like your blog.

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