Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

Boobs – love em’ or hate em’ – they’re part of who you are and where you’ve been.

64 Comments

This week I couldn’t decide upon an IBOT subject and was tossing up between boobs and how feral my kids are.

And yes that sentence was meant to sound the way it did!

I chose the more light-hearted subject of boobs, because realistically haven’t we all heard enough about my angels for awhile?

So I decided it was time to talk about mine, or should I say the demise of them – BOO.

This was a 20-year-old me with a set of perky DDs - swoon.

This was a 20-year-old me with a set of perky DDs – swoon.

Before I get all of this off my chest (see I’m really getting into the swing of it now) I have to say I will only ever call them boobs.

I detest the word t*ts – in fact I won’t even spell it out, or repeat it out loud – much to the amusement of my lovely BFF who calls them that to my face whenever she gets the chance πŸ™‚

I prefer the gentler term boobs, because it feminises them – in fact I’d like to think my sons would call them boobs instead of t*ts.

Anyway I’ve got off titpic, I mean topic.

Recently it’s just dawned on me that I will never again have the pert, full and hard knockers I used to.

(In saying that I am grateful to have them at all – I know of many strong and brave women who have made the decision to lose their boobs to save their lives – something I would do in a heartbeat if placed in that situation)

This is a 30-year-old me - just before I fell pregnant. I gotta admit the dress really was a bit small but as you can see I'm too pissed to give a shit

This is a 30-year-old me – just before I fell pregnant. I gotta admit the dress really was a bit small but as you can see I’m too pissed to give a shit

But from 2007 until 2012 I was either pregnant or breastfeeding, and as you can imagine my boobs have ballooned and shrunk considerably during this period!

I would not change it for the world, in fact, I totally adore breastfeeding. Boobs are such handy things to have to keep a child quiet, and I also love the fact that I was able to sustain my children’s lives with them, well for a few months anyhow.

But when you’ve had size J boobs (no it’s not a typo – a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i, J) and then you lose weight – your once-were awesome whoppers become junior whoppers.

Here is my size 11 foot in the cup of an old feeding bra, and the label proves I'm not shitting you in regards to the size.

Here is my size 11 foot in the cup of an old feeding bra, and the label proves I’m not shitting you in regards to the size.

Thankfully there are amazing bras these days that work miracles and just last weekend I wore one that caught the attention of my husband.

Check out my yummy lunch - prawn thai red curry, excuse the side of super hot cleavage.

Check out my yummy lunch – prawn thai red curry, excuse the side of super hot cleavage.

To be honest I’m not that upset about the fact my boobs are no longer able to stand their own ground.

We all get to that stage in our life when we need a little lift – and that’s where I’m at right now, especially as I’m trying to down size a little.

But shit doesn’t it suck that the first place we lose weight is from our boobs, especially when there’s a bit fat tummy screaming out to be downsized!!

Despite the fact my boobs could be hitched up a few inches I could never get fakies – no offense to those who have them – but the pain would be unbearable for me I reckon.

While I have had two drug-free child births, my labours didn’t last weeks, which I’m sure the pain of a boob job would.

Plus I consider myself a pretty natural, straight-shooting girl and a big set of perfectly shaped t*ts just wouldn’t sit well with me.

I consider myself very lucky to be married to a man who loves me for what I am and the fact I have carried, birthed and fed our three children – and have the boobs to show it.

It’s inevitable that one day I will probably look like this:

show-me-your-tits1

But who gives a shit, if I am lucky enough to live until my boobs hang this low then I’ve had a wonderful and awesome innings!!

Embrace your boobs, or lack of, they tell a story of who you are and what you’ve been through.

Linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess for IBOT!

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Author: Have A Laugh On Me

I'm a mum to three, write from home and I rarely cook, craft or clean but admire those who do. I try to live by the mantra that there's no point in worrying about something that might not happen! Be warned this is not a fluffy, sweet mummy blog, rather a place where you can cringe, laugh and be shocked at my brutally honest take on my life.

64 thoughts on “Boobs – love em’ or hate em’ – they’re part of who you are and where you’ve been.

  1. I hate the ‘T’ word too. To me it’s really derogatory.
    I’ve actually never been a big fan of my boobs, but they’re a part of me and I’m lucky to have them. As you said, too many women have to lose theirs to save their lives and I’m grateful I’m not in that position! πŸ™‚
    xx

  2. Oh Emily, I hear ya! I miss my perjury boobs immensely. And I too, call them boobs. Once upon a time they were a few inches higher, a bit less deflated-balloon like, and far hotter.
    I love what they’ve achieved over the last 5 years, but I do hope to have them fiddled with after we have our last baby. If I have to live with a saggy, jelly belly, I can at least have some boobs that sit on my chest!

  3. Personally I am not a big fan of my boobs. Seeing as I have them I wish they were smaller but even when I lose weight they don’t seem to change which sucks really because everyone else always says that is the first place they lose !!!! Mine didn’t even do that great a job feeding my child so after 4 weeks she went onto a bottle and we never looked back – I suspect I would have come close to killing her if I had continued to feed her because my milk had the nutritional value of water – enough to feed the whole neighbourhood but just not good enough to keep anyone alive.
    Have a great day !
    Me

  4. I miss mine too. Whether I was a size 8 or a size 14, I had always had a good rack. Hubby fell in love with them before he fell in love with me I think. I miss the pert-ness too!! But my boobs did a great job feeding our two beautiful children, and I am happy with the sacrifice I made, saggy boobies and all. πŸ™‚

  5. I have none. I’ve always had an A cup, only moved to a small B cup with the kids. The fact I couldn’t breastfeed meant I didn’t even have my slightly bigger ones for long either. And I swear, the weight I have recently lost came first from my breasts, the one part of me that actually needs a little bit of fat. Oh well, at least I’ll never have any sagging problems, I guess!!!

  6. I totally dislike my tits:) always have. They were great for the 2 years breastfeeding my babies but then what? They really do suck for runners, always getting sore, chafed, in my way. I’m coming back as a male next time.

  7. Holy hell Em. *J*!!!!!???? I was thankful when I lost weight a lot of it came off my boobs first. I always wanted them to be a bit smaller. A bit perkier/lifted would be nice, but i’ll settle for smaller, if that’s all I can get naturally. My biggest problem is the left is slightly bigger than my right. same with my feet. I know, I’m a weirdo.

  8. I am anti the t word as well, boobs is a much nicer words. I love my boobs as well. There was a time where I actually loved them too much and may have flaunted them a little too much. Not that I ever had a lot to flaunt. Mind you those close to me have often said anymore than a handful is a waste!
    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses, here’s cheers to our boobies!

    • I totally used to get the ‘girls’ out all the time when I was younger, but nowadays I wouldn’t because I suppose I feel I shouldn’t now that I’m a mum – silly huh! I’ve heard the ‘more than handful debate’, but it depends on how big your hands are?! πŸ˜‰

  9. I have a love/hate relationship with my boobs, I had C cups at 10, DD’s through high school, E cups these days and on the rare, rare occasion I decide that exercising myself to the point of exhaustion for months on end is fun and actually reach a size 12-14 I end up with a F cup. I do not lose weight off my boobs but they’re also never really firm and high. The best breasts I ever had were as 16G rock hard breastfeeding tatas… hubby said it was the worst torture that all that awesome boobage was not for him. I love my boobs, they are awesome but damn hard on the back πŸ˜‰

    • Yip, I remember my hubby totally LOVING my big whoppers when breastfeeding, so massive, I wish I had taken pics! I also have a very sore back from big boobs and very BAD posture! πŸ™‚

      • I have a photo of Dex breastfeeding and my boob is like 4 times the size of his head, hysterical. I might embarrass him on his 18th birthday with that one

  10. Love your post! Mine are very small and point in two opposite direction but I like them. I can go out or wear a strapless dress without wearing a bra and no one would notice!

    • Can I say I’m totally envious Rita?! I bet you look hot in all the dresses I really want to wear – rock it girl – because one day you’ll be lamenting about your post-baby boobs (power of positive thinking πŸ™‚ Emily

  11. Oh you are hilarious! But I totally relate. I look at photos of myself in my twenties and marvel at the perkiness of my boobs, to say they have gone south is an understatement! Thank god for bras! xx

  12. Oh goodness! This is hilarious! I too have had similar thoughts about my boobs. They are no longer fabulous, and the thought of a boob job means I probably wouldn’t be able to travel or extend my house – give me story and adventures any day!

    Bras can do amazing things these days too! Much better than they were when I was 20 and a 10DD and had to buy old lady bras which just squished those bad boys into pointed masses….

    • New York is worth so much more than a boob job!! And OMG I can so totally relate to having big boobs ‘back in the day’ – I had to buy those cone shaped bras and HATED them! Thanks for comment, made me laugh and nod in agreement! Emily

  13. OMG I LOVE that cartoon!! Hilarious! I could have written this post. I was astonished at the behaviour of my DD boobs during pregnancy and nursing. Really, there was plenty of room in there already. There was no need for them to explode into uncharted regions of the alphabet.

  14. Holy snappers, check out your cans in that pink frock!! πŸ˜‰
    I used to have a great amount of mam pride, and now the girls are not quite what they used to be. I’m generally ok with it, because they have done a stirling job……just recently had to give away an awesome backless Max Azria number though because we’re never going to be doing backless again.
    Shame.

    • I hate to say it girl but I was really flaunting those puppies back then! πŸ™‚ Nowadays I’m way more boring. BOO.
      But I’ve never been able to carry off a backless number – go you – photo please πŸ™‚
      Emily

  15. Love this post and so right you are, our boobs to tell a story….
    Unfortunate as it is mine are no longer perky and quite where they are suppose to be after 4 babies either, but just like you “fake” ones are just not for me. Thanks for sharing such a great post πŸ™‚
    Visiting via IBOT x

  16. I wish you people would just stop showing off. I’m currently close to my all time heaviest and I might just be able to fill a B cup with a bit of help.

    • Oh Mumabulous, I have been at my heaviest for the past 2 years and have only just made it where I am now. Who gives a crap about boob size, you’re an awesome, funny and gorgeous mumma who I love reading about πŸ™‚

  17. It’s true. Boobs are part of you. Mine are looking great at the moment, but I am a breastfeeding mama. I think I am going to pay for this later πŸ™‚

  18. Ok I’ll make you jealous – as a young nipper I was an A cup, which I hated. Two kids and a couple of decades later, i am now a D cup and still can’t believe I have boobs! (Mind you I have put on weight in other areas which is probably why the boobs increased, but hey, I don’t care – just happy to have cleavage after years without!).

    Oh and I sometimes call them “puppies”. As in “Oh my goodness look at that girl’s dress, she really needs to put her puppies away.”…

  19. Wow Em, I thought I had it bad getting to a H – but *J*!!! Your poor back!
    Oh god I wish my boobs *would* be the first place I lose weight from. Nup. Doesn’t matter how much weight I lose they still enter a room several minutes before I do. I quit breastfeeding E seven months ago and I was hoping for some shrinkage but no, they haven’t budged. I guess this is Mother Nature making up for making me flat chested until I was eighteen then blessing me with E cups overnight. I guess I’ll be stuck at a G for the rest of my life now while they gradually move downstream….

  20. I am with redlandcitygirl – I never had boobs until I had a child went from an A cup to a D cup during pregnancy and now a C cup. I scored a son and a cleavage – somewhere to put my tissues and not have them fall out. Love having a cleavage.

  21. I’m a well endowed D cup. Then I got pregnant and I was wearing a size E…never quite made it to my first name initial πŸ™‚
    But these personalities of mine have seen 2 little human beings sucking the bejesus out of them for a year so yeah, I’m pretty proud of them…even if they’re now sagging down to my waist πŸ˜‰

  22. Oh I love love love this post! I’m still a babyless 27 year old but I’m loving your confidence and the fact you embrase it all! I love it!

  23. I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding for over 15 years now. When I wean my youngest I’m definitely buying them a lift.

  24. This is great. And no I’m not a ‘boob man’ for obvious reasons! I really don’t like the word tit either. I mean it’s a small bird and lets face it, a good boob would kill the damn thing. They’ve always been known as boobs in my life. I also love that your hubby thinks you’re as juggalicious as ever – go him.

    G. xx

    PS: Moobs are not good!

  25. Oh yes I miss a pair of nice lovely boobs. over 4 years of breast feeding, plus pregnancy, has not been kind to me.
    I briefly considered a boob job (for about five minutes). Then I hear about nipple relocation and decide hell no!

  26. You sound exactly like me Jess! Thanks for visiting! Emily πŸ™‚

  27. Oh amen Sista! I definitely can’t go braless any more, and long gone are the days of having the girls on show. But they did their job, and my hubby still appreciates them.
    Thanks for a huge laugh Em! x

    • As long as your hubby still loves ’em them that’s all the matters. I also used to ‘get the girls’ out – probably much more than I should have but hey I was young and full of it!! I really appreciate the visits and comments Lisa πŸ™‚

  28. I almost wrote a similar post recently as I finally went to a specialty bra shop who insisted on fitting me. I had been fitted 3 times previously at Bra’s & Things, Target and some outlet store – all confirming I was a 12DD. What a load of shit and no wonder my t*ts looked so saggy…..putting on a size 8E (or F) depending on the make was eye popping. Who the hell knew there was even such a size???? I have to pay a small fortune for the bra’s now, but hell they make an amazing difference πŸ™‚
    Becc

    • It’s so worth going to a proper place, I go to a ‘big girl’ bra place, have been for years, and getting the right size, and paying a bit more, makes all the difference to how you feel and look. Thanks for sharing Becc πŸ™‚

  29. I embraced my lack of. I was flat, flat, flat until my first pregnancy. And I thought I’d go back to being flat, flat, flat after I finished breastfeeding #1, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case!
    Hoping once #2 arrives and has finished breastfeeding that I start hearing the old ironing board jokes again.

  30. I’ve always had big boobs and would much prefer a down-size! Especially when there are never any nice lacey bras for the bigger sizes. Oh how i would love to wear a calvin klein or elle mac set. And dont even get me started on the lack of nice breastfeeding bras for bigger sizes… I guess we are never happy with what we have until its gone!

  31. You know there are HEAPS of great, sexy and lacy bras for big boobs, you just have to know the places to look. There are great shops in Bris/Gold Coast and also to order online from the UK. Definitely worth checking them out! As for breastfeeding bras, those MILK ones aren’t too bad, but yes I agree when you get to the J like I was, they are totally granny pants. Loving your comments Jessica, thanks πŸ™‚

  32. You had me laughing through this post. Growing up in my household, we weren’t allowed to use the word b**bs- it had to be bosoms (still can’t bring myself to say/ write it :))! Love the cartoon! I’ve pretty much finished weaning my youngest, so it’s time for me to go bra shopping again.

  33. Oh my gosh! J cups! I’m almost busting out of my E cups, well one side anyway! I am looking forward to stopping BF, but I am afraid my poor boobs will ever be that same again. Like Grace, without bras, mine adorn my waist too lol. Very funny post.

  34. Pingback: My first boob post | the illiterate infant

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