Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!


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Where is the best place to bring up kids?

Have you ever wondered if you are bringing your children up in the right place?

I was born and bred in NZ on a cattle/sheep farm in the North Island, it was one of a few places just 20 minutes from the beach that regularly got snow.

See, I've always loved taking beautiful photos!

See, I’ve always loved taking beautiful photos! This is a photo of a photo, hence quality.

This weekend I drove my three angels to visit my parents at their small block of land in semi-rural Queensland.

The road trip was bloody horrific, included a two-hour long symphony of screeching from No.3, bumper-to-bumper traffic and some celebrity spotting.

Terri and Bindi Urwin parked their HUGE SUV nose-to-nose with our smaller SUV at a roadside pit stop, and I have to say I was a little star struck.

I really wanted to do a paparazzi and take a photo of them, but then I thought Terri had been through enough.

She really is a natural beauty and didn’t leave the car, instead she was fiddling with her phone.

A much shorter than I thought Bindi emerged from the SUV with a boy, (gotta be a story here, says the journo in me).

Anyway, we got to my parents just before the sun was setting and the kids leaped out of the car and down to the swings under a gorgeous old tree.

A beautiful tree, and there I am taking the photo and waving!

Isn’t it just stunning! Spot my shadow waving to the kids!

During our stay I got to thinking about how special it is to grow up in the country.

I felt sad that my kids don’t have the space to roam that I did, that they were growing up so completely different to how I, and my husband, did.

The things you learn and get to do on a farm are so different from those who don’t, eg I was ‘driving’ at just 12-years-old!

We lived 40 minutes from the nearest shop so very rarely went to town and when we did we had to wear ‘town clothes’ and then take them off as soon as we got home again.

A cream-covered finger bun was a TOTAL treat, and a chocolate bar, holy shit, talk about hitting the jackpot!

Love my awesome overalls! Mum and I feeding the cattle... me driving with a very steep cliff not far away!

Check out my overalls, this is mum and I feeding out the cattle… I’m driving with a very steep cliff not far away!

As parents we have many decisions to make about how we bring our children up, what we teach them, and how much we expose them to.

I suppose I should be grateful that it’s just a short tip to my parents and that within two hours my kids can run amok with cows, bats, kangaroos, frogs, parrots and snakes!

True story. When we were there, sadly, my dad showed us a dead bat caught up in barbed-wire fence.

He also had a green snake trapped in his BBQ, which the Husband had to put out of its misery.

And every time we visit my dad makes sure there is hay to feed the cows, which our kids ADORE doing.

Check out No.2 telling No.3 about the cows!!!

Check out No.2 telling No.3 about the cows!!!

Each time I spend a few days with my parents I have moments when I wish my children could be brought up on a farm.

But then there are so many reasons why they shouldn’t – and why I love that we live on the Gold Coast.

I’m torn.

You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl!

Do you feel at peace with where you are raising your children?

Another link up with Jess from Essentially Jess and her IBOT team

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It’s taken me a year to get my shit together, but I finally have

I just can’t stop looking at the photo below, right now I’m just shaking my head going – who the hell is that???

In fact the Husband just walked past and said “WOW, I didn’t realise you were that big?”

(I totally adore the fact that he has always loved me for me, not how I look, and has never seen anything but beauty in me.)

This was taken in March 2012 when No.1 had an awesome Princess Party.

This was taken in March 2012 when No.1 had an awesome Princess Party, notice how I am clasping my hands because I feel so embarrassed about myself .

You know I wouldn’t usually put such an unflattering photo of myself up for public scrutiny but I’ve got to a place where I feel I can.

It’s probably because I don’t recognise myself in this photo and I know I will NEVER go back to looking or feeling like this.

I remember feeling so fat, awkward and uncomfortable that day and I don’t think I even looked anyone in the eye – which is so not like me.

I was embarrassed of myself, and that is a feeling that I know I never want to have again.

All day I remember thinking “Oh man this is not really me, I am uncomfortable, so huge, look at my tummy, chins and arms, I wish I wasn’t so fat and horrible.”

This is one thing I know I never want to feel or think again.

I never want to have such bad self esteem.

Thankfully in the past few months, I’ve turned a corner and now look like this.

Notice my genuine smile!

Notice my genuine smile with my much loved and adored third born!

Last year I struggled in all aspects of my life following the arrival of my 3rd child in just 3.5 years.

He was unexpected, and I think I used this as an excuse to eat, drink and do whatever I wanted.

Unfortunately this included going down a path of self destruction, refusing social invites and not being in contact with friends I used to see regularly.

I was embarrassed about how I looked, but I was also not coping with everyday stuff, and I couldn’t deal with how much my life had changed.

However, 2013 is my year and I’m totally owning this sucker.

I am committed to reclaiming my life, my figure and my self esteem.

If you are in this position right now please remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day so be kind to yourself!

Have you been there and done that? Have you climbed out of a hole you thought you never could??

TGIF and I’m linking up with super mum – Miss Cinders for “Things I know”

Things I Know

I’m also flogging my blog with mum to three Grace from With Some Grace for Flog Yo Blog Friday


And flashing with Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye for Flash Blog Friday


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Sometimes it’s the things behind us that really matter

I'm not the really cool part of the photo - can you pick what it is? Clue -  I'm standing on top of the Empire State Building!

I’m not the really cool part of the photo – can you pick what it is? Clue – I’m standing on top of the Empire State Building!

It’s Wordless Wednesday so am linking with the awesome Trish @ My Little Drummer Boys

My Little Drummer Boys

Bree from Twinkle in the Eye

Ai Sakura from Sakura Haruka

for Wordless Wednesday – thanks for linking, sharing and liking! 🙂


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Boobs – love em’ or hate em’ – they’re part of who you are and where you’ve been.

This week I couldn’t decide upon an IBOT subject and was tossing up between boobs and how feral my kids are.

And yes that sentence was meant to sound the way it did!

I chose the more light-hearted subject of boobs, because realistically haven’t we all heard enough about my angels for awhile?

So I decided it was time to talk about mine, or should I say the demise of them – BOO.

This was a 20-year-old me with a set of perky DDs - swoon.

This was a 20-year-old me with a set of perky DDs – swoon.

Before I get all of this off my chest (see I’m really getting into the swing of it now) I have to say I will only ever call them boobs.

I detest the word t*ts – in fact I won’t even spell it out, or repeat it out loud – much to the amusement of my lovely BFF who calls them that to my face whenever she gets the chance 🙂

I prefer the gentler term boobs, because it feminises them – in fact I’d like to think my sons would call them boobs instead of t*ts.

Anyway I’ve got off titpic, I mean topic.

Recently it’s just dawned on me that I will never again have the pert, full and hard knockers I used to.

(In saying that I am grateful to have them at all – I know of many strong and brave women who have made the decision to lose their boobs to save their lives – something I would do in a heartbeat if placed in that situation)

This is a 30-year-old me - just before I fell pregnant. I gotta admit the dress really was a bit small but as you can see I'm too pissed to give a shit

This is a 30-year-old me – just before I fell pregnant. I gotta admit the dress really was a bit small but as you can see I’m too pissed to give a shit

But from 2007 until 2012 I was either pregnant or breastfeeding, and as you can imagine my boobs have ballooned and shrunk considerably during this period!

I would not change it for the world, in fact, I totally adore breastfeeding. Boobs are such handy things to have to keep a child quiet, and I also love the fact that I was able to sustain my children’s lives with them, well for a few months anyhow.

But when you’ve had size J boobs (no it’s not a typo – a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i, J) and then you lose weight – your once-were awesome whoppers become junior whoppers.

Here is my size 11 foot in the cup of an old feeding bra, and the label proves I'm not shitting you in regards to the size.

Here is my size 11 foot in the cup of an old feeding bra, and the label proves I’m not shitting you in regards to the size.

Thankfully there are amazing bras these days that work miracles and just last weekend I wore one that caught the attention of my husband.

Check out my yummy lunch - prawn thai red curry, excuse the side of super hot cleavage.

Check out my yummy lunch – prawn thai red curry, excuse the side of super hot cleavage.

To be honest I’m not that upset about the fact my boobs are no longer able to stand their own ground.

We all get to that stage in our life when we need a little lift – and that’s where I’m at right now, especially as I’m trying to down size a little.

But shit doesn’t it suck that the first place we lose weight is from our boobs, especially when there’s a bit fat tummy screaming out to be downsized!!

Despite the fact my boobs could be hitched up a few inches I could never get fakies – no offense to those who have them – but the pain would be unbearable for me I reckon.

While I have had two drug-free child births, my labours didn’t last weeks, which I’m sure the pain of a boob job would.

Plus I consider myself a pretty natural, straight-shooting girl and a big set of perfectly shaped t*ts just wouldn’t sit well with me.

I consider myself very lucky to be married to a man who loves me for what I am and the fact I have carried, birthed and fed our three children – and have the boobs to show it.

It’s inevitable that one day I will probably look like this:

show-me-your-tits1

But who gives a shit, if I am lucky enough to live until my boobs hang this low then I’ve had a wonderful and awesome innings!!

Embrace your boobs, or lack of, they tell a story of who you are and what you’ve been through.

Linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess for IBOT!


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The man at the bottle-o knows me better than the petrol station attendant – whoops!

I must confess that the man at the drive-thru bottle shop knows me really well.

In fact it had been about 2 weeks since I’d stopped in and he was like ‘Hey – so how have you been?’ – like it had been ages since we’d caught up.

Talk about feeling like a right old booze hag!

(thanks someecards.com for having an overwhelmingly great supply of great drinking postcards

(thanks someecards.com for having an overwhelmingly great supply of drinking postcards

I mean it’s bad enough that I sometimes drive through with the kids in the car, but I tell myself it’s better than dragging them in with me right??

Don’t get me wrong I don’t get rip-roaring drunk every night – but I do enjoy a relaxing cool beverage at the end of a long day.

I’m also one of these people who can justify it by saying that I have been pregnant and breastfeeding on and off for the past 5 years so I’ve got some catching up to do.

But I feel I have to change my way of thinking if I’m to continue with my weight loss (yep 10kg down but that stubborn 5 to go).

I also have to confess that I sometimes lie and tell him that the 3 bottles of ‘on-special’ bubbly I’m buying isn’t all for me.

At least he doesn’t know my name – yet…

So on this hot and humid Monday I’m fessing up with the lovely Kirsty @ My Home Truths for I Must Confess and Alicia @ One Mother Hen for Open Slather Monday

I-Must-Confess-Button

Photobucket

Thanks ladies 🙂


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A mother’s guilt runs deep and is never ending

I’m battling to keep my shit together at the moment – so I’ll keep this brief (ish).

As a mother to three children who are very close in age, 3 born in 3.5 years, I have incredible mother’s guilt.

I mainly feel sorry for my third born, who really hasn’t been a baby and unfortunately at times is treated like his older siblings.

But then I also wonder if the reason my No.2 is extremely sensitive and cries all the time is because I’ve failed to manage to nurture his needs properly.

No.2 and I having a selfie moment

No.2 and I having a selfie moment

As for No.1, while she is my gem and quite easy at nearly 5, I wonder if she’s had to grow up quicker because I’ve had two babies to care for during her formative years.

Tears are welling as I write this because I know I can’t turn back time.

I suppose I just have to do my best from now on it, dig bloody deep and find some more patience and tolerance.

Here’s a few Things I Know (thanks Miss Cinders for the topic and link) that I feel guilty about:

1. That I work on a computer but also spend time on it when they are with me during the day, it might only be 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon but I feel bad.

2. I sometimes tell No.2 to stop crying all the time, which makes it worse for the poor wee fella.

3. No.3 hardly ever gets read books, the chance to do games or puzzles with me and gets told off when he tries to use the texters.

4. I don’t spend enough one-on-one time with each of them, this really eats me up.

5. We don’t go out and ride bikes/scooters enough because with 3 on my own it’s a bloody nightmare and it stresses me out too much.

6. No.3 doesn’t get the nice warm ‘don’t do that’ tone No.1 got as a toddler, he gets a short snappy “DON’T DO THAT”. Gulp, I’m such a shit head.

7. I often leave my kids to their own devices because I have run out of patience and don’t want to yell at them.

8. We don’t go to the park as much as we used to, No.3 barely knows what a swing is.

Rightio I’ve got to stop now I sound like the worst mum ever!

Apart from trying to fix all of the above mentioned, how else can I shift the mountain of guilt I carry on my shoulders?

My gorgeous daughter caught staring out the window

My gorgeous daughter caught staring out the window

I’m flogging my blog by Grace, linking with Miss Cinders for “Things I know” and flashing with Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye for Flash Blog Friday

Thank you for the links super bloggers 🙂

Things I Know



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It’s about time I had a Thankful Thursday

I do have a tendency to moan, well not so much moan but to say what I think about everything in an honest way, which can sound like moaning.

But once a week I am supposed to be super nice and grateful for my lot, which I am.

Especially for the awesome moments I have with my ‘baby’ such as this one below.

adsgadg

So in no particular order I’m thankful that…

1. We have ducted A/C and at 10am I turned it on, I might have to sell a body part to pay our powerful bill but it will be worth it.

2. All my children are in bed asleep by 7.30, at the latest, one good thing I did was implement a strict bedtime routine.

3. I’m grateful that when I spilled my full glass of mimosa all over the dinner table that it didn’t get on No.1’s Prep school stationery etc..

4. I’m also stoked that it was my first glass and I still had more in the fridge.

5. My mum rings me to talk about nothing but it shows me how much she loves me.

6. My sisters are planning on taking me away for my birthday weekend, can’t wait.

7. Despite my overindulging in food/booze over Xmas I’m now back on track and still dropping kgs…

8. That my daughter just adores cuddles, kisses and always runs to me when she’s sad.

9. To have a light workload at the moment so I can spend more time with my angels and not be chained to computer.

10. That tomorrow is Friday and I’m closer to having my husband home for the weekend.

Thanks Aroha @ Colours of Sunset for inspiring me to write some positive stuff!

Colours of Sunset