You know those horrific days when you wonder how the hell you got to this point?
When you spend all day battling a toddler who is harder to please than your old-school newspaper editor who smoked a pack a day and glared over your shoulder and breathed on your neck as you typed.
Today is one of those.
My youngest child is a screecher, and not your garden variety, but your death metal band screecher.
In fact when he’s at full throttle dogs from at least 1km away start barking, I shit you not.
My little screecher feature, as I affectionately call him, is just 16 months going on three.
Every day I battle to not lose my shit at him – most days I fail and I end up running to the other end of the house to hide from him in Get Smart style, closing doors behind me as I flee.
Or at my worst I scream back at him and then feel like a total cow because he’s just tired and can’t tell me what he wants or why he’s upset.
As a blogger who says it like it is, warts and all, there isn’t much I wouldn’t write about, especially the fact that I yell at a 16-month-old – MOTHER OF THE YEAR!
The theme is ‘taboo topics I won’t tackle’.
The problem is that I will pretty much say and write about anything, but will apply sensitivity and tact if needs be.
So I’m bending the rules slightly and listing topics that I know would really anger or upset some people off if I wrote about:
1. My views on religion and wars across the centuries.
2. Why I think some people shouldn’t be allowed to have children.
3. When people who have dogs directly compare it to having kids – apples and pears people.
4. That I’m sick of parents who ignore their kids at parks, playgrounds, parties etc, and then get the shits with you when you tell their lil’ devil off for pushing your toddler in the dirt and then jumping on him.
5. People who tell me I’m SO LUCKY to have three children – I know I am – I’m not a complete f*&K head – but don’t say it to me when I’m knee-high in shit, tantrums, washing, screeching and work.
Something I know that won’t annoy most bloggers (well perhaps apart from Kev @ The Illiterate Infant) is writing about spunky men.
I figure it’s okay to look at the menu as long as I don’t select – although I reckon I’ve got a bloody good chance of getting lucky with the man in the last photo.
In keeping with Deb’s @ Home Life Simplified Listmania here’s the scoop I who I crush on.
The dudes I used to get all hot and bothered about as a teen were Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street, Luke Perry from 90210, River Phoenix from Stand By Me, and Keanu Reeves from Point Break.
Old school Johnny – but I still adore him now!
River being a cool dude.
If you haven’t noticed I like bad boys, I always have, which is why I spent most of my 20s with a broken heart.
But here are some more of my recent crushes:
Bradley Cooper for his come f@*k me eyes and awesomely unshaven face.
Jack Hughman, as I like to call him, is totally HAWT.
George Clooney – I’m partial to a bit of salt n’ pepper!
The Husband – my very own Mr Clooney – who I think is a total spunk and everyday I am grateful to have bagged such a gorgeous man, inside and out.
So there you have it, what I shouldn’t blog about but probably will, and a list of peeps I crush on!
If you haven’t already, link up with Kirsty for I Must Confess
And Deb for Listmania
Not to mention the lovely Alicia @ One Mother Hen