Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!


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My boisterous boys have reached new levels of feralness!

Without sounding paranoid, I think my boys are secretly plotting to f#*k me up.

They have reached new heights in driving me ‘bat-shit mental’ and now verging on sending me ‘I really should trim those hairs on the palms of my hands’ crazy.

Don’t be fooled by their innocent-looking faces – they have recently written a new chapter in the boisterous boys book.

My boys are like two peas in pod at times.

My boys are like two peas in pod at times.

Nothing stops them from doing what they shouldn’t be doing, running on couches, hurling themselves on the couches, opening the fridge and pulling everything out, turning on and off the air conditioning, getting food out of the pantry.

They truly just stare at me, laughing, as if almost daring me to tell them off or put them in the naughty corner again.

Oh sorry, did I mention they are just 3 and 1.5 years?

Honestly, I’ve no idea how to move forward from this, and embarrassingly, I think they are out of control.

And I’m not going to even weigh-in on the whole ‘give them a wee smack on the bottom that will sort them out’ debate.

It doesn’t work folks – kids will still be little shits – and teaching them it’s okay to hit someone else really isn’t the way to improve their behaviour.

Here’s a few things I know my boys do that make me want to go out to the shop, buy some cigarettes and never return. (and no I don’t smoke, but that’s the stereotypical thing people say when they talk about mums who escape desert their families).

1. They are always on the scrounge for food, so pantry/fridge gets opened 85 times a day.

2. Leaping across the couch, which freaks me out as No.3 already cut open his eye doing this a few weeks ago.

adgfasgg

3. Crying, screaming, screeching when they don’t get want they want, which is pretty much ALL the time!

4. Waking up at 4.30am and not going back to sleep.

5. Going into the shower and trying to eat the body wash/shampoo and then pumping it all over the house – note – this is only the 1.5 year old.

Now I know they’re only little but damn they can get inside my skin like nothing ever has before.

Leaving the room doesn’t help, they seriously follow me around like flies to a cow’s bum.

Counting to 10 also doesn’t ease my blood pressure, I haven’t got the patience to meditate and while it’s tempting, I can’t start drink during the day.

Awww - aren't they adorable little shit heads!

Awww – aren’t they adorable little shit heads!

What’s a girl to do?? Seriously peeps words of wisdom gratefully received!

This Good Friday I’m linking with

Miss Cinders @ Saturday Morning Orge Mum for Things I know

Things I Know

Grace @ With Some Grace for FYBF


Cathy @ The Camera Chronicles for Flashback Friday

And Bree for Flash Blog Friday


51 Comments

My precious girl arrived on this earth five years ago today – Wordless Wednesday

I shed more than a few tears as I put this post together.

Five years ago today, at about 3pm, my gorgeous girl started her journey on this earth.

Her birth was peaceful, she is amazing and I can’t imagine my life without her.

When she tells me she loves me I tell her ‘I love you more’, she then says “I love you the most’.

I wish I could go back in time and just cuddle a baby version of her one more time….

Just hours old

Just hours old

Battling chronic reflux, at six weeks the only way to get her to sleep for more than 20 minutes during the day was to put her on her tummy! I watched her the WHOLE time.

Battling chronic reflux, at six weeks the only way to get her to sleep for more than 20 minutes during the day was to put her on her tummy! I watched her the WHOLE time.

She has never loved food, but I persisted because having something solid in her tummy helped settle her tummy after she vomited about 15 times a day.

She has never loved food, but I persisted because having something solid in her tummy helped settle her tummy after she vomited about 15 times a day.

She had a taste for newspapers, just like her mum

She had a taste for newspapers, just like her mum

Peek a boo!

Peek a boo!

My favourite photo of my girl and I!

My favourite photo of my girl and I!

She didn't even start to get hair until she was 2 years old!

She didn’t even start to get hair until she was 2 years old!

GORGEOUS even when she was sad

GORGEOUS even when she was sad

Her favourite activity was going for a bike ride with dad!

Her favourite activity was going for a bike ride with dad!

At three years old she was already wise beyond her years.

At three years old she was already wise beyond her years.

Always a joker!

Playing doctors was her favourite thing at three years old!

The morning of her 4th birthday with her little Buzz brother

The morning of her 4th birthday with her little Buzz brother

Waiting for her cake to come out!!

Waiting for her cake to come out!!

I love the look on her face when she sees her princess cake - just gorgeous.

I love the look on her face when she sees her princess cake – just gorgeous.

Celebrating with her school friends!

Celebrating with her school friends!

Growing up so fast - she loves to scooter to school!

Growing up so fast – she loves to scooter to school!

Gorgeous birthday girl who is SO excited she is now 5 and told the supermarket check out chick that today is 'actually my birthday'.

Gorgeous birthday girl who is SO excited she is now 5 and told the supermarket check out chick that today is ‘actually my birthday’.

If you’re anything like me there are days when you’ve had enough of battling with young children, the tantrums, the fights, the questions – but we have such an important role to play.

We grew them inside our bodies for nine months, and now for our lifetime we must nurture their souls, teach them the ways of the world and most importantly give them unconditional love.

Happy birthday princess – I love you to the moon and back!

My favourite blogging day – Wordless Wednesday with Trish at My Little Drummer Boys

My Little Drummer Boys

Ai at Sakura Haruka

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye


33 Comments

It’s amazing what people look for on the internet and come across my blog!

It blows me away the search engine terms people use, it’s a great source of amusement to me!

The majority of them were related to boobs! Seriously haven’t these people heard of online porn, stick mags or the dodgy DVD section at the video shop?

Anyway, here’s a sampler of some of the more obscure (and socially acceptable) search terms people plugged in and found my blog.

The proof that some people are just plain idiots.

The proof that some people are just plain idiots.

1. Post about farting on a child in a supermarket – I bloody well hope it was on accident!

2. Slightly overweight shirtless naked – How flattering, but I’m confused. Do you want me to be shirtless or naked or both?

3. I’m 51 and cant get my shit together – I gotta say you’d better hurry up and start trying a wee bit harder (and learn about apostrophes).

4. Hot woman accidentally farts – It was only once and it smelled like roses – truly!

5. Land diving for kids – Glad you’re not my parent!

6. Long hair on my boobs – Buy some tweezers or get a wax, but before you do, I’m curious as to HOW long it actually is?

7. Tradies butt cracks – Whatever floats your boat.

8. Hunchback masseuse – Now this I’ve got to see, Quasi Massage, – quite a catchy name me thinks.

I can just see him wondering how the hell he got roped into the massage business. Source: senfonikankara.tumblr.com

I can just see him wondering how the hell he got roped into the massage business. Source: senfonikankara.tumblr.com

9. A dull woman keeps an immaculate home – Damn straight they do – or that’s what I tell myself 😉

10. Do hawks laugh? – Sure they do – at your for asking such a stupid question!

Totally know this isn't a hawk - but it's laughing so cut me some slack. Source: palestinerose.wordpress.com

Totally know this isn’t a hawk – but it’s laughing so cut me some slack. Source: palestinerose.wordpress.com

Go on share the laughter, please tell me some of the search terms you have got?? Apart from those creepy rude ones which I kinda have enough of myself!!

Another IBOT with the lovely Jess @ Essentially Jess


35 Comments

My daughter’s party from A to Z and why I’m totally awesome!

What a week! What a weekend! And shit oh dear it’s Monday – again!

Did you manage a sleep-in? Or at least try to fake a headache or say that you’d been up all night with ‘Johnny’ to get one – that’s always a good move.

I was fortunate to have my big sissy visiting and our children flocked to her like flies to a shit sandwich.

She was most of the reason we threw a last-minute party for my daughter’s 5th birthday.

wretwet

There are heaps of people that she didn’t think of to invite (yes I let her choose) but you can’t keep everyone happy all of the time.

I know she had a fantastic day, which is all that matters.

So from start to finish, or A to Z as the case may be, here is the day in a nutshell.

Amazingly I didn’t stress or worry about the party AT ALL, despite the fact I didn’t organise a pickle ’til Friday!

But then again I did freak out when the portable CD player didn’t work for pass the bloody parcel.

Considering how hot it was, due to the massive storm that happened in the afternoon, most kids joined in the party games.

Taken by my iPhone 5

Taken by my iPhone 5

Deciding who won ‘put the chicken in the barn’ (we had no donkey) was bloody hard.

Every child got lots of prizes, but some were still upset at not winning everything – but that’s just life.

Ain't that old man outfit so cute?!

Ain’t that old man outfit so cute?!

Funnily enough my tantrum throwing baby was as happy as Larry most of the morning.

Great news for me and my sanity levels.

How long it would last I didn’t know!

I think he was too busy inhaling lollies to notice what was going on!

Some of the party gifts I wrapped up the night before

Some of the party gifts I wrapped up the night before

Jumping on the trampoline proved a great distraction for those who didn’t get a spot in musical chairs.

Keeping everyone happy isn’t as easy as it looks.

Luckily I had my awesome family there to help me control the rowdy crowd.

My girl had such a fun day – especially when she got her present from us!

This gorgeous outfit was handmade by Karla @ Little Miss Lacey Boutique (but that's another whole blog post)

This gorgeous outfit was handmade by Karla @ Little Miss Lacey Boutique (but that’s another whole blog post)

Needless to say – the day was a great success.

Obviously I couldn’t have done it without my awesome big sissy.

Perhaps I should also give a shout out to the Husband, who did help make room outside for a games arena!

Quite possibly he did more but I was too busy fluffing around to notice.

Really glad that I didn’t have to do it on my own.

Seeing and hearing No.1 laugh and giggle in delight with her friends made my heart smile.

Isn't handmade wrapping paper the best (and cheapest) ever!

Isn’t handmade wrapping paper the best (and cheapest) ever!


Tempting as it was, I did refrain from having a celebratory drinkie poo until the kids were tucked away in bed at night.

Unusual for me I know!

Very nearly fell asleep when the kids did after lunch.

Wowsers – what a day!

Xeroxing my butt would have been much easier.

You can see that from the previous statement that I am struggling for an X word.

Zero pain no gain right!

And because I love the idea of being positive at the start of the week I’m playing along with Kirsty @ My Home Truths and going tell you why I’m TOTALLY AWESOME!

1. Despite the fact I have three very dependent young children, I also work from home about 20 hours a week and help pay off the mortgage.
2. I am a good and reliable friend to those who return the favour.
3. I speak to my immediate family at least once a week, often more, not because I have to but because I want to.
4. I am a parent helper at my daughter’s school, plan to volunteer at tuckshop, play netball once a week, donate to the RSPCA, write articles about charities, read books to my kids and make dinner 5 out of 7 days a week.
5. Most of the time I usually cope with all of the above, my kids still drive me bat-shit mental, but most of the time I have my head above water – JUST!
6. The reason I am able to stay afloat is because of my McAwesome husband and I am awesome for finding him!

Why are you awesome? Or what awesome things did you do in the weekend?

Ummm - anyone tried this?

Ummm – anyone tried this?

Linking with Kirsty for I Must Confess

I-Must-Confess-Button-e1320483478646

Linking with Deb at Home Life Simplified for Listmania

list-mania-2-button

And spilling my guts with Alicia at One Mother Hen for Open Slather Monday!

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28 Comments

Walking with dinosaurs at the museum and the science centre – Wordless Wednesday

A family day at the Queensland Museum South Bank – the touring dinosaur exhibition and the always open Sciencentre.

No.3 fell asleep in the car on the way so missed the first 30 minutes of the day!

No.3 fell asleep in the car on the way so missed the first 30 minutes of the day!

No.1 getting into the spirit of the Dinosaur exhibition, while No.2 just making sure it's not a 'real' dino.

No.1 getting into the spirit of the dino exhibit, while No.2 was just making sure it wasn’t a ‘real’ dino.

Love these two!

Love these two!

Digging for bones!

Digging for bones!

A very proud mumma, they ADORE each other 99 per cent of the time.

A very proud mumma, they ADORE each other 99 per cent of the time.

No.2 was fascinated with the tornado!

No.2 was fascinated with the tornado!

Super freaky right?

Super freaky right?

What's good for the goose!

What’s good for the goose!

We went up and down 24 times, 12 each way, much to the amusement of onlookers!

We went up and down 24 times, 12 each way, much to the amusement of onlookers!

Leaving the museum, the kids were blown away with this and so was I

Leaving the museum, the kids were blown away with the size of the whale and so was I.

We're waiting for this baby to hatch! 48 hours and counting.

We’re waiting for this baby to hatch! 48 hours and counting.

HUMP DAY Wednesday and it’s Wordless!

Linking with three super ladies :

Trish at My Little Drummer Boys

My Little Drummer Boys

Ai at Sakura Haruka

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye


69 Comments

Leaping back on the netball court after a 17-year hiatus

My heart was racing, I could barely eat (a rare thing for me) and I was consumed with worry about how the next hour would unfold.

I hadn’t felt this nervous since the eve of my induction with my second child.

What could get me, Mrs I Don’t Really Give A Shit About Much, so worked up?

A GAME OF NETBALL

Yep don’t rub your computer screens, you read right, I was totally working myself up into a frenzied state because after 17 years I was about to get back on the courts.

Is this what a netball looks like?

Is this what a netball looks like?

Notice the perm and clenched fist - I was one tough chick back then!

I bet you’re thinking what an awesome looking athlete I look here 😉 – this was taken nearly 20 years ago!

I was worried because I’m TOTALLY unfit and haven’t played any sport, apart from ‘chase three little shits around the house’ in years.

Don’t let my trademark chicken legs fool you – I’m so unfit that I need to stop for drink’s break when I walk down the driveway to get the newspaper!

I also knew that if I fell or played like a gumbie then I was letting the whole team down, and I hate that shit.

Being part of a team is a big deal to me and I didn’t want to be ‘that person’ who didn’t pull their weight, literally.

All day I hoped that each beep of my phone was my friend saying the game had been cancelled (sorry Ang but it’s true :).

No amount of peep talks from friends were helping – I just had to bite the bullet, put on three bras and have a teaspoon of cement.

Check out that mighty defence lean - which ALWAYS gets my pulled up by the refs

Check out that mighty defence lean – which ALWAYS gets my pulled up by the refs

Stressing just before I took to the court

Stressing just before I took to the court

After 10 minutes I had to sub off because my legs were jelly and I couldn’t run anymore.

I then got my second wind and played the last two quarters, some in the rain, and kicked some teenage-girl butt!

It was AWESOME, I ran around like a possessed woman, leaping, jumping, and defending that ball like it was one of my children.

We won and I felt proud that I had helped achieve this in some way.

This is blurry because we were moving SO fast ;)

This is blurry because we were moving SO fast 😉

And it doesn’t matter that I’m now walking a bit like a cowboy and can barely move my arms, I leaped out of my comfort zone and have become part of a team again.

What team sport did or did you play? What’s stopping you from getting back into it?

Linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess for IBOT – she is off to DPCON13 or DEF CON 3 as I like to call it – have a ball girl – wish I was there!


69 Comments

Do you usually speak your mind? If so, then you’ll totally be able to relate to this post.

People like me don’t just quietly live their lives – somehow we seem to offend, upset or mortify peeps without even knowing it!

And by people like me, I mean those who speak their minds, wear their heart on their sleeves, and usually call a spade a spade.

I don’t intend to offend but sometimes I do.

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Image source

But I also pride myself on having the ability to put myself in someone else’s shoes – however sometimes it seems they don’t fit so well.

I could warble on here and give a zillion anecdotes but I’m going to spare you the melodrama.

So here’s a few Things I Know about myself that must annoy the crap out of people but they never tell me – what silly sausages they are.

1. I speak WAY too fast – like auctioneer fast – and if you throw in my Kiwi accent then half the time I know people are just nodding and smiling because they have not a clue what I just said.

2. Over sharing – it’s a McMassively huge habit of mine – I’ll divulge lots of random crap to strangers, check-out chicks and daycare teachers. PMS, period pain, why my eyebrows look so unruly, why my hair looks so dirty – you name it I’ll share it! I have no idea why, I sometimes just suffer from verbal diarrhoea, so shoot me!

Okay so I probably wouldn't tell a stranger something like this!

Okay so I probably wouldn’t tell a stranger something like this!

3. I will put my screaming and tantrum-throwing children in a makeshift naughty corner in a shopping centre. It doesn’t matter where, in fact last week I made my son sit on the ground at the end of the check out until I was done. I didn’t blink an eye, I stood tall and strong and didn’t make unnecessary excuses for what I was doing. I was parenting.

I get about 15 of these a day, when he doesn't get his way, usually they are accompanied by heading banging on tiles or whatever surface he has throw himself on.

I get about 15 of these a day, when he doesn’t get his way, usually they are accompanied by heading banging on tiles or whatever surface he has throw himself on.

4. As my children grow I will let them decide who they want at their birthday parties – why should I make them invite kids that they don’t want there? I know this isn’t a popular point of view but I’m also a parent that believes kids should learn they won’t always win, get a prize and have to have a few disappointments early in life. This might sound tough but I want to slowly and carefully prepare my children for the harsh reality that is the real world. And in the real world they won’t always get their way and will have to learn to cope with many setbacks.

Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up

6. I’ll NEVER sugar coat it. If someone asks how I am, especially someone I consider a friend, I’ll be straight up and tell them I’m struggling, going half insane and wish I could run away with the circus.
Don’t wanna know how I am, and I mean REALLY how I am? Then don’t ask! Last year every day was a shitty one and that is pretty much what I told anyone who asked – and with some I could almost hear the eye roll over the phone.

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But then again, at least I’m honest and to me that is what friendship is all about, isn’t it?

Do you over-share info? Tell people how you really are? Or do you prefer to keep your private life private?

It’s been too long Miss Cinders @ Saturday Morning Ogre Mum but I’m back for Things I Know

Things I Know

And a big hug to Grace @ With Some Grace and Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye for letting me FLOG AND FLASH (and I do love flashing!)



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My three cheeky monkeys – Wordless Wednesday

My wee pork chop celebrating my birthday lat month.

My wee pork chop celebrating my birthday last month.

Trying to strangle me here but lucky she's so cute I let her

Trying to strangle me here but lucky she’s so cute I let her.

A cute photo but then he fell head first out the hole - OOPS!

A cute photo but then he fell head first out the hole – OOPS!

This is what I found after frantically searching for my third-born at a park - he took his popcorn and RAN, so his bro and sis couldn't get any.

This is what I found after frantically searching for my youngest at a park – he took his popcorn and ran so his bro and sis couldn’t get his stash (do you recognise this area Janet, it’s near your ‘backyard’?.

My princess - just like her mum - she loves to have a laugh :)

My princess – just like her mum – she loves to have a laugh 🙂

Don't try this at home!

Don’t try this at home!

Mmmm, I wonder if mum will know if I throw myself down the slide?

Mmmm, I wonder if mum will know if I throw myself down the slide?

Here I go.......

Here I go…….

Totally jumping in the yukky mess she's not allowed to!

Totally jumping in the yukky mess she’s not allowed to!

I ADORE my children and their cheekiness, they are spirited, they complete me and without them I would be a lesser person.

What cheeky trait do love in your children or other special little people in your life?

It’s another wonderful Wordless Wednesday!

I’m linking up with the usual suspects:

Trish at My Little Drummer Boys

My Little Drummer Boys

Ai at Sakura Haruka

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye


70 Comments

I’m coming out of the closet to admit I can cook – seriously – check out these puppies!

I have a dark secret that is just bursting to get out – I can bake!

I know, I know, each week I rave on about how much I loathe and despise cooking but the truth be told I’ve been known to dabble in the kitchen, sort of.

But be prepared to have your socks knocked off.

TA DA……..

You're totally blown away right?!

You’re totally blown away right?!

It’s a little recipe I like to call Mouse Traps (okay so I stole the name and recipe from my mum but she said it’s cool).

I bet you’re thinking that it just doesn’t seem fair for me to be so multi-talented.

And right now there are hundreds of amazing cooky bloggers biting their nails wondering how the hell they can compete with these puppies.

Danni @ Keeping up with the Holsbys you might even have to re-name your blog Keeping up with Emily! It has a incredible ring to it don’t you think?

And Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye, doesn’t Twinkle in Emily’s Eye just roll off the tongue?

Surely you will agree Amanda @ Cooker and a Looker that Isn’t Emily Such A Cool Cooker and A Looker is an acceptable adjustment to your blog?

In case you didn’t get a good enough look at my masterpieces, here’s another photo:

Like nothing you've ever seen before right?

Like nothing you’ve ever seen before right?


Read it and weep girls – I know, I know, right now you’re shitting yourselves and wondering how you’ll ever be able to call yourselves chefs again after seeing my fabulous creation.

But never fear – this isn’t an invention test or a mystery box challenge – I’m going to share my top-secret, not-for-beginners, extremely difficult recipe.

Now be warned fellow IBOT’ers, some of the ingredients might seem a little obscure but there’s a high chance you might possibly already have these items at home.

If not, then truly don’t stress, they are readily available at your nearest supermarket.

Shopping list:
Bread
Butter
Vegemite
Cheese
Pepper

Bread

Bread

Butter and vegemite - in that order - I know right, who would have thought!

Butter and vegemite – in that order – I know right, who would have thought!

Cheese

Cheese

Soldiers

Soldiers

Proud as punch and deservedly so don't you think?

Proud as punch and deservedly so don’t you think?

Oven

Oven

Happy child

Happy child

I promise I didn't bribe him with a Cherry Ripe (or two) to eat this.

I promise I didn’t bribe him with a Cherry Ripe (or two) to eat this.

So there you have it – I’ve outed myself and I feel FANTASTIC!

Please feel free to have me guest blogging with some of my other secret recipes any time 🙂

DISCLAIMER:
I totally LOVE Danni, Amanda and Bree and their blogs and hope know they’ll take this post in the good humour it is intended.

Is there any questions about my masterpiece? Are you secretly a great cook like me? Or do you leave it up to the professionals?

Linking with the soon-to-be published author and all round good guy girl Jess @ Essentially Jess for IBOT


21 Comments

I know what I did last Saturday!

So tonight we are battling to get our three kids to sleep tonight and I just shook my head and left the room/s.

Then I remembered what I was doing last Saturday night and this is what came up!!!

Yep I look like a stunned mullet here!

Yep I look like a stunned mullet here!

See you at the bottom!

See you at the bottom!

I made her drink this batch, it was CRAP!

I made her drink this batch, it was CRAP!

I must have had a few too many to have taken this !

I must have had a few too many to have taken this !

Well in to the night when only the big drinkers remained, or could stand!

Well in to the night when only the big drinkers remained, or could stand!

CRAZY EYES!

CRAZY EYES!

We are GONE burgered here!

We are GONE burgered here!

How I looked at the start of the night!

How I looked at the start of the night!

Despite the fact it took me a few days to get over this night, I LOVED it!

What are you doing this Saturday? Last Saturday? Or what have you got planned for this Saturday?


63 Comments

Why you should give blood and not chocolate this Easter

INSTEAD of giving chocolate this Easter why not consider donating blood to potentially help save the lives of three people.

We all know someone who is or has been affected by cancer – these are the people who benefit the most from blood donations.

At the moment across Queensland, and probably other states and territories, there is a dangerously low number of people booked in to give blood over Easter.

This is not good, because the Australian Red Cross Blood Service needs 27,000 blood donations each week to ensure there are adequate supplies across the country.

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Image source

Many of you will be surprised to learn that most of the blood isn’t used for people in accidents or emergencies.

Most of the it is used to help people with cancer and other serious illnesses.

Right now the blood service is “really concerned” that some products with short shelf lives will run out before they are able to be replenished with new donations.

These are the products that cancer patients in particular rely upon to help them through their chemotherapy treatments.

And if people don’t give blood over the Easter period then lots of sick people will get a lot worse.

Most donations centres are open during Easter – you just have to ring or search the web to find out specifics.

I LOVE Damon from Vampire Diaries - we need a poster boy like this here in Australia - YUM

I can’t guarantee Damon will be there but you never know 😉 YUM


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Some facts to consider:

1. Only one in 30 people donate yet one in three will need blood at some stage during their life.

2. The reason the need for blood is constant is because it has a limited shelf life.

3. Giving blood takes only one hour of your time and it can help save the lives of three people.

4. Provided you are fit and healthy, and aged between 16 and 70 years, you may be eligible to give blood.

You’ll probably even get a free biscuit – SCORE!

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Image source

For more information call 13 14 95 or visit www.donateblood.com.au

Have you ever given blood? What was your experience?

DISCLAIMER (not sure why I did one but it looks kinda cool when people do it)

I wanted to post this because I’ve recently written an article on the subject and I think it’s a great cause.
Did I get paid – hell no!
Will I ever get paid or be given some awesome freebies to write something on my blog – I bloody hope so!


47 Comments

Why it pays to have a spare pair of knickers/clothes in the car – Wordless Wednesday

The kids got caught in the rain at Maccas playground but were happy to play in wet knickers and crazy shirts for 1.5 hours :) Must have been the great company @ Aroha

The kids got caught in the rain at Maccas playground but were happy to play in wet knickers and crazy shirts for 1.5 hours 🙂 Must have been the great company @ Aroha

Photo courtesy of Aroha @ http://photographybyaroha.com/ CHECK THIS GIRL OUT – she’s the shizzle and will also take FAB non-undie shots at a great price 🙂


It’s Wordless Wednesdays – and I’m linking with these lovely ladies

Trish @ My little Drummer Boys

My Little Drummer Boys

Ai Sakura at Sakura Haruka

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye


69 Comments

A snapshot of what I did last week – in about 30 words!

WOWSERS – what a busy week since we last met IBOT’ers!

I’ve got so much to say but I’m still suffering from my Saturday night cocktail party (yep I’m a light weight) and am ridiculously tired and possibly have a three-day hangover 😦

As a journo I know how to summarise things and have been taught how to ‘hook’ a reader in about 30 words.

So here is a snapshot (followed by pic) of some newsworthy things that have happened to me in the past week.

(I’m writing them as if they were intros for a newspaper).

A FIRST-TIME school mum was devastated to find nits in her child’s hair and has warned other parents to be vigilant in keeping the “creepy critters” at bay or else she’ll go all gangsta on them.

I was SOOO paranoid that I did my own hair - TWICE - despite the fact the hairdresser told me I was in the clear!

I was SOOO paranoid that I did my own hair – TWICE – despite the fact the hairdresser told me I was in the clear!

A MOTHER-of-three turned a blind eye when her school-aged daughter and pre-school son got married in front of friends over the weekend.

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DESPITE being warned of the dangers of excessive drinking, a woman allegedly drank cocktails for more than seven hours before falling asleep at 2.30am after consuming an entire jug of unconfirmed substances and dancing in her pyjamas to bad 70s music.

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AUTHORITIES were shocked it took at least twenty minutes for the mother of these children to realise they were asking for real money to give away pretend ice-cream – initial reports suggest she might have been slightly hungover from the night before.

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PARENTS across the country have been warned to be aware of the dangers of toddlers standing on and jumping off toys – the mum of this boy admitted that she was ‘busy blogging cooking’ when the incident occurred.

OUCH

OUCH

What was the high and/or low point of your week?

Linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess


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I want to learn to fly a helicopter, see the northern lights and be more patient

Because dreams are free I’m going to divulge some of the things I’d LOVE to learn but through a lack of money probably never will.

1. To fly a plane, a helicopter and skydive solo (I’ve done it tandem).

2. I’d give anything to be able to drive a V8 car or Moto GP bike in a race without killing myself – yep I’m an adrenaline junkie!

3. Learn how to hike and ice walk well enough to climb Mt Everest – I’d also like to camp out in an igloo to watch the northern lights.

Here’s some things I WANT to learn one day and hopefully will without too much effort.

1. To play chess – the best I can do at the moment is backgammon!

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2. Make a video for my kids with me speaking to each of them telling them a bit about themselves and a little bit about me and the Husband.

3. To surf, to sail, learn another language, reverse a trailer, drive a jet boat, play an instrument, learn to waltz/tango.

4. To dress in a way that really accentuates the good parts of my figure. The same goes with make-up, I want to know the tricks of the trade because as I age I’d like to do it gracefully.

She has striking resemblance to me!

She has striking resemblance to me!

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This is a list of things I NEED to learn!

1. Patience, tolerance, understanding – not just for my own sanity but for the sake of my children, especially my third-born, 1.5-year-old, who freaks me out on a daily basis by doing things a three-year-old does and getting hurt because of it.

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After a trip to the after hours emergency doctor for cutting open his eyelid

After a trip to the after hours emergency doctor for cutting open his eyelid

2. To slow down in all aspects of my life, from the way I rush around in the morning, to the way my kids have to run to keep up with me at the shops. I also need to slow down and remember that life isn’t a race it’s a journey so it’s fine just to sit down and ‘be’ without feeling guilty.

3. That I should embrace every moment with my three young children – they are the most precious gifts I will ever receive.

My gang heading to the shops to get some ice cream!

My gang chilling an ice cream truck!

So what is the one thing you DREAM to learn, WANT to learn and NEED to learn?

Linking (finally) with Deb at Home Life Simplified for List Mania

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And open slathering with Alicia at One Mother Hen for Open Slather Monday!

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Why you should shed your old skin and say yes to invitations out

In the interests of trying to have a life and reconnect with my friends – I’m frocking up for a cocktail party at a friend’s house this weekend.

For the past few years I’ve turned down almost every offer of a night out, blaming it on the kids.

And so of course the invitations out have pretty much shrivelled up and died.

People will stop asking you to go out if you never take them up on it – thankfully this friend hasn’t because she knows the roller coaster ride my life has been since having my third.

I’m pretty excited about it and I’d like to say that I’ll just sip my mojito, pina colada or marguarita, but I’d be lying – and that’s not how I roll.

This is me after 4.5 hours after landing in Cairns for a big weekend with my sisters - PASSED OUT - I mean tired.

This is me after 4.5 hours after landing in Cairns for a big weekend with my sisters – PASSED OUT – I was so tired 🙂

In fact I’ll probably offer to help the host make the cocktails just so I can get close to the action.

Since I no longer fit my pre-baby clothes and I am too small for my post-baby clothes – I had to find a dress to wear.

Shopping used to be fun when I was young, slim and had disposable income – now it’s worse than having two screaming toddlers hanging off you at the computer (like right now).

I also had to get new shoes because I can’t wear thongs, and since having kids I’ve gone from a size 10 to 11 – totally bizzaro right?

Have a laugh at my dressing room shenanigans.

A rack of boobs anyone?

Boob burger anyone?

It's the bust thing I didn't like - just a bit too pronounced

It’s the clam-style bust thingee I didn’t like and maybe the blah colour – and yes those are my actual clothes on the dirty floor.

This is the winning dress - it looks better from behind, but I can't walk backwards all night.

This pink stunner is the winning dress – it looks better from behind, but I can’t walk backwards all night.

I look surprising okay in this (if I do say so myself). Again I can't walk around holding my camera out like this all night just to hide my tuck shop arms

The dress looks nice in this but it’s because my arms are up but I can’t walk around holding my camera out like this all night just to hide my tuckshop arms.

My horse shoes, size 11, were $35 down to $9.43 - BARGAIN

My horse shoes, size 11, were $35 down to $9.43 – BARGAIN.

Here’s a list of things I know:

* I’ll only be able to ‘own’ the pink number by wearing my faithful sucky-in knickers. For those of you who haven’t discovered these beige beauties, don’t knock em’ – just imagine not having to think about holding in your tummy and front bum all night. SCORE.

* Those cheap-shit shoes will give me blisters and will stay on for a maximum of 1.5 hours, or until I’m drunk enough to over share and tell the entire party that I haven’t worn heals since I had 3 kids in 3.5 years, yadda yadda yadda yawn.

* I’m packing two fast-working headache pills for Sunday morning – yep I’m sleeping over. I know right lucky me – but you know I’m going to be in massive husband debt – and payment options are limited these days.

* That no matter what I think about my appearance – I won’t look as bad as I did in this photo – flashing back to the early 1990s.

What a stunner right - and no this wasn't a fancy dress party, I found this dress of mums and thought I could totally rock it!!!

What a stunner right – and no this wasn’t a fancy dress party, I found this in mum’s wardrobe and thought I could totally rock it! How goneburger do I look?

* I’m bound to say something I shouldn’t and/or dance Gangnam style – but I won’t remember it until a few weeks later.

* On Sunday I will say to the Husband that I’m never drinking again and the kids will be ultra feral and loud.

S8nOhmi
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I also have some advice to those of you who are staying at home unnecessarily like I was – escape your four walls and go out at night once in a while!

Walk to the shops, have dinner with friends, or just go somewhere by yourself for a $7 coffee/cake.

It’s so easy to stay in your sloppy pants, pour a glass of wine and miserably watch TV and moan about your lot – this was me for WAY too long.

But this year – the Year of the Snake – I’m shedding my old skin and taking up most offers that come my way.

Because meeting new people or reconnecting with old friends is fantastic for the soul.

Are you saying no too much to social invitations? Why? Is it because you were like me and were too tired or felt too self conscious? Any tips for someone who hasn’t been out in ages and is going to be in a room with 10 people she doesn’t know very well?

This Friday I’m linking with some awesome peeps!

Grace for FYBF


Miss Cinders for Things I Know

Things I Know

Cathy for Flashback Friday

And Bree for Flash Blog Friday

Thanks lovely ladies 🙂