Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

My boisterous boys have reached new levels of feralness!


Without sounding paranoid, I think my boys are secretly plotting to f#*k me up.

They have reached new heights in driving me ‘bat-shit mental’ and now verging on sending me ‘I really should trim those hairs on the palms of my hands’ crazy.

Don’t be fooled by their innocent-looking faces – they have recently written a new chapter in the boisterous boys book.

My boys are like two peas in pod at times.

My boys are like two peas in pod at times.

Nothing stops them from doing what they shouldn’t be doing, running on couches, hurling themselves on the couches, opening the fridge and pulling everything out, turning on and off the air conditioning, getting food out of the pantry.

They truly just stare at me, laughing, as if almost daring me to tell them off or put them in the naughty corner again.

Oh sorry, did I mention they are just 3 and 1.5 years?

Honestly, I’ve no idea how to move forward from this, and embarrassingly, I think they are out of control.

And I’m not going to even weigh-in on the whole ‘give them a wee smack on the bottom that will sort them out’ debate.

It doesn’t work folks – kids will still be little shits – and teaching them it’s okay to hit someone else really isn’t the way to improve their behaviour.

Here’s a few things I know my boys do that make me want to go out to the shop, buy some cigarettes and never return. (and no I don’t smoke, but that’s the stereotypical thing people say when they talk about mums who escape desert their families).

1. They are always on the scrounge for food, so pantry/fridge gets opened 85 times a day.

2. Leaping across the couch, which freaks me out as No.3 already cut open his eye doing this a few weeks ago.


3. Crying, screaming, screeching when they don’t get want they want, which is pretty much ALL the time!

4. Waking up at 4.30am and not going back to sleep.

5. Going into the shower and trying to eat the body wash/shampoo and then pumping it all over the house – note – this is only the 1.5 year old.

Now I know they’re only little but damn they can get inside my skin like nothing ever has before.

Leaving the room doesn’t help, they seriously follow me around like flies to a cow’s bum.

Counting to 10 also doesn’t ease my blood pressure, I haven’t got the patience to meditate and while it’s tempting, I can’t start drink during the day.

Awww - aren't they adorable little shit heads!

Awww – aren’t they adorable little shit heads!

What’s a girl to do?? Seriously peeps words of wisdom gratefully received!

This Good Friday I’m linking with

Miss Cinders @ Saturday Morning Orge Mum for Things I know

Things I Know

Grace @ With Some Grace for FYBF

Cathy @ The Camera Chronicles for Flashback Friday

And Bree for Flash Blog Friday


Author: Have A Laugh On Me

I'm a mum to three, write from home and I rarely cook, craft or clean but admire those who do. I try to live by the mantra that there's no point in worrying about something that might not happen! Be warned this is not a fluffy, sweet mummy blog, rather a place where you can cringe, laugh and be shocked at my brutally honest take on my life.

46 thoughts on “My boisterous boys have reached new levels of feralness!

  1. Oh god Em, you make me laugh but I hear your desperation. I’ve been there many times myself. And I’m totally with you on the ‘teaching them to hit doesn’t teach them not to hit’ thing. It’s not for me either. I don’t have words of wisdom or answers cos I still struggle myself, but I use the time out thing over and over. I count quietly to three (after explaining what’s what of course, and that this will happen if I get to three and they don’t stop) then on 3 I put them in their room. Close the door if they won’t stay willingly, then set the oven timer for the number of years of their age. On the bell they come out. They hate it. No big dialogue cos they’re too little to get it. Eventually they take themselves to time out. No matter if they tear the room apart. It starts to work….. eventually! Good luck….. xxx

  2. Em! Firstly, seriously cute cute cute boys. Secondly, that is pretty much my house too atm. I don’t have any good advice but am just sitting here reading your post going yep yep yep omg yep. I sometimes feel bad telling people at work my kids have been ferals lately but sometimes there is no other word for it that I can think of. Sometimes I just roll with it and the house gets trashed and other times I try to be all strict about it and then make a break for ANYWHERE once hubby comes home to chill the feck out (saddest part about this is it is usually somewhere lame I go like GROCERY shopping instead of somewhere totally fun lol). The saving grace for us it that as soon as the numbers are evened out (2 adults to 2 kids) they seem to be totally awesome. What does your girl do when they are on Team Destructo missions? Does she hide out in her room or join in? xox

  3. Sounds familiar. My two year old is terrorising me at the moment. The sreaching and screaming and trashing of everything…. AGH! It’s torture. Can’t we call the UN to save us from our tiny tormentors? Or at least find a celebrity activist who’ll take up the cause. George Clooney and Brad Pitt would do… they love a cause and, as well as giving us something nice to look at, they’d be sure to bring a couple of Martini’s to help ameliorate the pain. 😉

  4. Em! It’s a tough gig. Boys have a natural adventurous spirit and I can tell you my cousin was twice, thrice as bad when he was a kid. I mean like light fires when he was one, threw his little tricycle over the fence to go visit his dad at work at the age of three! And now he is the kindest man, gentle, slow and super smart. My suggestion? Put them into daycare for two days a week. Gives you a practical break, to recharge and rest and also allows for them to do lots of activities and outdoor play and get them nice and tired for you. My eldest has just started and its nice to know that someone is doing activities with him. Their behaviour won’t change anytime soon and it’s not a bad thing. It just means you may lose your marbles by their adult men. XXX

    • You Luisa, they are in daycare during the week, but I do this so I can frantically meet my work deadlines, so honestly it’s not much of a break, well it kind of is, but not really if you know what I mean. And you are right, I have to either suck it up and get over as it won’t change soon x

  5. Oh my goodness Em, you sound like me! I feel your pain, boys are hard work, they really are ! I have two, (7) & (9) , 20 months apart and they drive me absolutely nutters a LOT of the time….okay most of the time! Can I say it gets better ? Honestly, no. What works though is getting them into different activities where they are not in each other’s face all the time …I know it’s not always practical especially when you are trying to juggle everything. As they get older, I have found getting them out of the house and doing as much physical stuff as possible helps as well. Again, not always practical but worth it if it brings world peace 😉
    I wish I could give you a roadmap to raising boys but really there isn’t one, there is a survival guide on my blog though, have a read when you have a chance 🙂
    As always, great post – sending you a lot of warm, positive vibes and hope that eye heals quick for your little man. Btw, they are both totally adorable xxxx

  6. lol Oh God I wish I could help you… I have three children (2 of which are boys aged 3 &7) and it’s freak’en bedlam in our gaff!

    The get into proper scraps, which is nuts! My daughter never lashes out, but the boys are like wild animals!

    But hun, always remember, when things get to much it’s always wine time somewhere in the world… x

  7. Oh you crack me up. Put a lock on the fridge and give your little guys a snack basket – once it is gone it’s gone. With Dex his snack basket is half food half laminated cards so if he wants a yoghurt I get it out of the fridge for him (I don’t want him learning that lock!). I have no advice about the rest, the universe knows I’m sick to death of having my clothes pulled on (the little buggar seriously snapped the straps on my favourite dress last week by pulling on the hem), being hit or having stuff thrown at me or across the room. Gentle parenting is what I want to do but whoever wrote that shit has never had to deal with a toddler in full meltdown – give the kid a hug and you’ll end up with a black eye… accidental but a hug isn’t going to do crap until you actually get them to stop. Time out is working to an extent but it makes my heart sad because he’s too young to get what it means and I just feel like I’m teaching him that fun (his version of it) is bad.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that all these things I don’t cope with are just boy things and hubby, as a boy is a billion times better with dealing at it. Doesn’t help much when it’s 5pm and I’ve just learnt hubby is working late and I think if this kid jumps off the couch one more time I’m going to have a heart attack but at those times I chuck him in the bath with some coloured yoghurt and a paintbrush so he can “paint” for an hour while I sit on the bathroom floor and read. Mother of the year I am not. Hang in there lovely.

    • We have these days, weeks… People say that it’s only a phase. Liars!
      As I’m experiencing the same thing as you, I can’t offer you advice but I can offer you a drink. Red? Or something stronger? X

    • Oh that is such great advice hun, thanks, especially the bath one, and I might do that, even if it’s before dinner, just to calm the little shits down!! And snack basket is a fab idea. Boo for breaking clothes. What does my head in the most is the tears when they don’t get what they want! I think I’ll just have to learn to breathe deeply – A LOT xxx

  8. Oh dear… I’d like to say enjoy the moment because they are only little boys for a while but you sound kinda stressed. I think a food basket outside the pantry will really help with the pantry/ fridge door issue, but probably you do need to be firmer in your “punishments”.

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  9. Go and buy the ciggies, smoke them and COME BACK! Buy a BIG trampoline with a huge net and let them bounce it out till there is nothing left to bounce out. Lock them in the fridge – oops I mean but a lock on the fridge and if all else fails – day care! Lol. I feel for you – really I do!

  10. oh sing it sister! 4yo and 10 months old boys in our place…what is it about second child that theyre even more boisterous and crazy!? and whoever came up with the expression ‘scream like a girl’ have not met our lot by the sound of it! One of those days it’s nice to read “it’s not just me!’ …as for me, crisp bottle of verdelho keeping me company right about now…let them run wild, some days it just takes more energy to chase! and yes lucky your boys are so cute!x

  11. It’s all that blasted testosterone. Too much of it in this house too. I know it’s probably better to have them outdoors running about doing physical stuff so they use their energy, but then that means I have to be out there watching them too, so it’s still not the greatest solution. One good thing we have here is a giant trampoline with a net, that’s been helpful. The only other respite is when my husband takes them to soccer or whatever and I get a short break. Hopefully you can get a break like that too.

  12. Oh the couch thing….drives me nuts!!! My daughter was banned from sitting on the couch for the better part of a year (well…it felt like that long anyway) because she could not sit on her damn backside.

  13. I hear you Em but it’s my soon to be 3 yo daughter who is driving me batty at the moment. The attitude. The disobedience. The tantrums. My big boy is an angel by comparison…maybe it’s their age, rather than their gender? Who knows, but I am certainly not looking forward to the terrible 3s!!! Hope things get less trying for you soon!

  14. Reading this I instantly thought “It’s not just me!!”
    Mr 6 and Mr 4 work on shredding my sanity every single day
    Their cuteness has saved them till now – so what will happen in their teenage years?!?

  15. On a good day, I love watching my little tribe conspire to have some adventure or other. On a bad day, like you, I’m totally outnumbered with no way out! I’m not a smacker either – I’ve seen it work, I’ve seen it not work, but it’s not for me. 1.5 is a really tough age too, cos they’re a bit too little for ‘consequences’ and ‘time out’ and all those other optimistic devices we attempt. Just hold onto that old Buddhist/wives tale thought: “this, too, soon will pass”. In a few months’ time the whole dynamic will be different. Could be worse, of course, but it will definitely be different 😉

  16. From a Mother of 3 boys – you do the only thing you can do ……. just keep counting down until they start school.

  17. Hahahahaha! *snort*

    So I suppose now isn’t the time to tell you this is tame? Wait until they’re teenagers!
    So. much. fun!!

    Thanks for linking up lovely!!

    MC x

  18. Oh dear, you make me scared of having a boy, Aldi now does an Irish Cream Liquor that tastes great in your morning coffee. Just FYI.

  19. I have no tips, unfortunately. I have 2 3 year olds that do all the above you mentioned with levels of intensity that are beyond, BEYOND comprehension. I may have to take up drinking. Or something harder 😉

  20. Miss 16 was a handful as a toddler. Many was the time I put her in her room and closed the door (had to hold it closed from the outside so she couldn’t come out). She would scream the place down! I’m sure the neighbours thought I was killing her!

    She remembers those days and she says what got through to her (eventually) was when she saw ME collapse in tears a couple of times after she’d chucked a mickey … who knew?!

  21. Pingback: It’s our job to worry for our children | Have a laugh on me

  22. When K was little she got smacked but we would also send her to the bathroom as punishment because if we sent her to her bedroom, she would just play with her toys and think it was great fun. Send them somewhere where there is nothing to play with.
    Seriously – you had to do something soon or you will really struggle to teach what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour. One thing we noticed with friends was they would laugh at antics that were naughty – this encouraged the children to do it again. While I understand you can’t be frowning the whole day – you need to pick the moments when you will laugh at what your children do.
    Good luck !

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