Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!


52 Comments

Nothing reeks of desperation more than a beer in your handbag!

Experts say you can tell a lot about someone by what’s in their handbag.

Take this one for example – one can only assume the owner is bloody thirsty, hungover, battling to stay awake and ridiculously slightly addicted to caffeine!

Quite an impressive haul right?

Quite an impressive haul right?

I spot four drinks and a wallet – and this is what I assume they are for.

1. Beer – the hair of the dog – the poor biatch is as hung as a horse and is hoping a swig of beer will help.

2. Iced coffee – just in case the booze doesn’t help, the caffeine combined with milk will act as a binding agent to help prevent the beer coming back up.

3. The cola drink fake sugar – obviously this is a desperate last-ditch attempt to bring the tired body back to life.

4. Water bottle – to clean up whatever surface is hurled on after the person consumes the above liquids!

5. A wallet – to buy more beer if it goes down REALLY well!

And here is why the owner of this handbag – MOI – had all those drinks in her bag…

A night out with the hubby for our anniversary after a few bubbles were consumed, and not ones from the bath!

A night out with the hubby for our anniversary after a few bubbles were consumed, and not ones from the bath!

And I’m happy to report I managed to drink and hold down ALL of the liquid refreshments – and a few hours later I felt FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC! (probably thanks to an entire box of medium-sized movie popcorn – droooolllll).

What is the most unusual thing in your handbag at the moment?

Anyhoe, today I’m a guest blogger for the lovely Kyla from Three Quarters Full – she is hosting a series of posts by mums who are taking the time to remember (or reclaim) who they were before they became a parent first, a person second.

Here’s a snippet of what I wrote…

Despite the fact I’m a ‘sensible’ mother of three – there is still a risk-taking party girl lurking inside of me somewhere, desperate to get out.

So head over and have a read @ The Woman Beneath

It’s TUESDAY and I BLOG – and thanks to the lovely Jess I get to link up and read about what everyone else has been up to!


46 Comments

It’s really not hard to spot a mother of three!

While I would hate to tar every mum of three with my dirty ole’ brush – but here’s five ways to spot one! (a mum of three that is, not an old brush).

1. SHOCKING DRESS SENSE
We’re so busy making sure our offspring are dressed appropriately – that we often neglect our own appearance, because quite frankly we couldn’t give a shit how we look.

In fact it’s a win if we manage to strap on a bra, comb our hair, and brush our teeth to get rid of our morning coffee breath.

I often just smash back a piece of sugar-free gum as I dash out the door!

I can't for the life of me understand why my daughter's teacher looked at me funny the other day.

I can’t for the life of me understand why my daughter’s teacher looked at me funny the other day.

2. EARLY INDEPENDENCE

As we battle to get scooters, shoes, strollers, wine water, snacks, change of clothes, sanity, out of the car, we often get our kids to try do more things for themselves.

While this has resulted in pants being put on backwards, a day when my daughter went to kindy without knickers on, and water puddles on the kitchen floor from trying to pour their own drink – sometimes they get it right!

In saying that, maybe it’s a bit much to expect my 1.5-year-old to “find your blue pj’s, the ones with the three fish on them, and put them on them on please”.

I asked my gorgeous boy to put his helmet on - great job me thinks!

I asked my gorgeous boy to put his helmet on – great job me thinks!

3. VERY RELAXED PARENTING

Because we have more kids than adults in our family, every outing is a shit fight, and we just have to accept that – or go more insane than we already are.

There will be crying, kids wanting to wee 30 seconds after you pull out of the garage and “a traffic jam, when you’re already late” (thanks Alanis).

But because we’ve accepted the fact that we have very little control over our developing devil children, we just say MEH and take it as it comes.

This includes letting them swim in clothes, run around in the nick, and eat bark chips and sand, there’s gotta be something nutritious in it surely.

We also don’t have the energy to worry give our No.3s much more freedom when it comes to playground equipment.

Is that a mermaid?

Is that a mermaid?

Thankfully No.3's head is blocking the nudeness of No.2!

Thankfully No.3’s head is blocking the nudeness of No.2!

4. MESS

Despite the fact that we are tripping over toys all day and night, we usually have one BIG basket, container or cupboard we can shove shit in to make the house look tidy in 30 seconds.

These will be strategically scattered throughout the entire house, take a look next time you visit a MOT, once you know what you’re looking for you’ll see them in EVERY ROOM!

We don’t distinguish soft toys from cars or balls anymore, we just throw it all in the one spot, telling ourselves we’ll sort it out soon (WHATEVER).

This faithful basket has been hiding shit for the past four years!

This faithful basket has been hiding shit for the past four years!


5. NO SHAME

Once you’ve had three kids, you really don’t have the time or energy to give a shit about much.

You find that you end up surrounding yourself with those who can accept that you’ve gone a little bit whacked in the head and love you anyways.

Sisters are always great for that – they listen to you moan about how you’re going insane and that life is SHIT but they just nod and listen because they know you don’t really mean it but you have to vent to someone!

It also helps if your husband isn’t very observant and doesn’t notice your hair needs a wash or that you’ve stacked on 10kg overnight because you can’t be farked exercising.

This is what happens when you have three kids and go on holiday with you amazeballs  sisters! NO SHAME

This is what happens when you have three kids and go on holiday with you amazeballs sisters and get drunk! NO SHAME

What other tell-tale signs give us MOTs away? What is your secret to parenting three or more kids?

Thanks to the AWESOME Grace at With Some Grace I’m flogging my blog!



41 Comments

The last time I grew a life – Wordless Wednesday

Looking back I can’t believe I was ever this BIG pregnant – but here I am – 11 days before No.3 was born in 2011!

Making appearances with a very TIRED looking me are; the Husband, my gorgeous daughter (not quite 3.5 years), and my son (just shy of 21 months).

IMG_4076

IMG_4121

IMG_4219

IMG_4305

IMG_4389

IMG_4394

These photos were taken by a talented friend – who also makes and creates unique accessories for bubs and kids, eg inserts for car seats, taggies, wheatbags, cushions – all in funky designs and fabrics Bub n Boo

Check her out – she is a mum, like most of us, trying to find a way to stay at home with her baby girl.

Have you got some pregnancy pics you look at and go – THAT BELLY CAN’T BE MINE!

(I thought about you Kylie @ A Study of Contradictions when I posted these)

It’s Wednesday so I’m linking with Trish at My Little Drummer Boys

My Little Drummer Boys

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye

And Ai at Sakura Haruka


99 Comments

Six months ago I was a blog virgin – now I am the town bike!

It’s been half a year and I’m still here, attempting to bring a little cheer!

It hasn’t always been pretty, but I’ve done my best to be witty.

Ummm yes this is actually me at university with a great big dirty bottle of beer!

Ummm yes this is actually me at university with a great big dirty bottle of beer!


Just six months ago I leaped in head first, not realising that soon I would become immersed.

Now it seems that I can’t get enough of this world, just as long as I haven’t made you hurled (come on cut me some slack – it’s hard to rhyme all the time).

rhyme
So if you haven’t guessed that my blog is six months old then you’re either hungover (on a Tuesday, good effort!) or I haven’t been clear enough, which isn’t surprising.

I won’t warble on about much I enjoy the honesty, advice, funnies and frankness that goes with blogging, but suffice to say I do, A LOT.

And big shout out to those who take the time to read what I write and comment – you rock my world!

Here’s six things about the number six in honour of Have a laugh on me reaching six months.

1. I’m up to level 63 in the land of Minty Meadow of Candy Crush Saga. It’s like crack for those with an addictive personality, so if you have one – DON’T GO THERE!

At the moment I dream about sprinkle covered chocolates frolicking with stripey red jellybeans – You’ve been warned!

adfasfadfs

fadfafwqer

2. This Sunday I celebrate six years of being married – what a ride it’s been (sometimes literally, grrrrowl!).

I can’t imagine life without the Husband by my side and our children adore him more than chocolate.

I didn’t believe in soul mates until I meet him – I also didn’t believe in the man flu!

I look all teeth here but it was totally me, cheeky!

I look all teeth here but it was totally me, cheeky!


3. It takes me six minutes to open a Chupa Chup – NUP – no exaggeration!

My youngest son was screaming in anticipation, as were the dozens of other shoppers wishing I would hurry the f#*k up and open the lollipop!

Totally eyeing up that sucker!

Totally eyeing up that sucker!


4. Some of the funniest six search engine terms for my blog:

Soulmate sounds like something the devil put in his coffee ecard – ummm are you sure he’s not your cell mate?

Why have my boobs never been perky – because you’re probably a man!

Does bending over for the fart out – I’d suggest lifting one leg to get a fart out.

fart

Nothing like a shit and a shower – hopefully you’ve just returned from camping.

I like last Saturday – seriously? Is that the only thing you can think to type in to a search engine?

J cup breasts aren’t as big as you think – probably because you’re searching for ways to make yourself feel better for deciding to get WHOOPER silicon baps!

5. My sixth blog post was one of my most read – despite the fact I didn’t know about bloggy linky – so 99 per cent of you haven’t read it! (HINT HINT).

Check this out – it’s called – It’s not a democracy it’s a dictatorship! – it’s also very similar to what blogger legend Jess wrote about yesterday.

jasonchinftw.wordpress.com

jasonchinftw.wordpress.com

6. For the past two days the kids were up around six – for those who aren’t aware my three kids usually wake at dawn’s crack – aka – 4.30/5am – leaping, bellowing and running around like headless chickens (who can actually can run around without heads for a few seconds, sad but true).

I’d like to think that this is going to continue, but because I have said it out loud it won’t!

Alright time for some constructive criticism peeps, so unleash the beast and let me know what you love/hate or want me to keep doing!

It’s Tuesday and I blog (instead of playing CCS) and I link with Jess @ Essentially Jess for hosting IBOT!


62 Comments

The best thing about having sisters is…….

Sisters, sissies, blisters – here are mine – aren’t they the shiz?

My sissies  - I LOVE THESE GIRLS!!

Jumping for their lives!!

(I’m so going to be in the shit for not asking before using these – SORRY SISSIES 🙂 )

Does this background look familiar? YEP - it's where the McAwesome header photo came from, on the way to Port Douglas, Qld

Check out the air my super hot sisses are getting!

But you know what, they won’t stay mad at me long because they’re my sisters – my best friends in the entire world and I am thankful for them!

Sisters will always try to understand what you’re saying and even if they don’t – they will take your word for it.

Sisters don’t judge, they love.

Sisters borrow your clothes and sometimes forget to give them back (hee hee Saree – just kidding).

Sisters can tell each other they can’t be arsed talking on the phone because they’re too tired, shitty or teary.

Yep - we are all a little bit AWESOME!

Yep – we are all a little bit AWESOME!

Sisters can cry on your shoulder and then laugh in your face 10 minutes later.

Sisters can tell you off for acting like a princess.

Sisters will look out for you and warn you about ‘friends’ who they think aren’t genuine.

Sisters can burp, fart and pick their nose in your company – (you know who you are!)

Sisters will come and look after your three young children so you can stay in bed past 6am.

I’m so thankful to have TWO of them – in fact I often wish my daughter had a sister because they ROCK!

In saying that, eight hells would have to freeze over before I had 4th child to possibly make that happen.

Do you have sisters? Brothers? What is the best thing about your sibling/s?

Linking with Leigh @ Six by the bay for Thankful Thursday!


Six By The Bay

And Blogs and PR for Talk to Us Thursday

Blogs and PR


44 Comments

Fifty Shades Of Grey – Wordless Wednesday

grey7

grey6

grey5

fkfhgk

grey1

grey2

grey3

This is my FAV shot, taken just as the sun went down from my front yard - how amazing is it? and without any filters, tricks!

This is my FAV shot, taken just as the sun went down from my front yard – how amazing is it? and without any filters or tricks!

All of these photos were taken by my iPhone 5 and haven’t been edited in any way.

There is nothing more amazing than the power of mother nature and I adore storms, lightning, thunder.

Do you have a favourite type of weather? Sun, rain, stormy?

It’s Wednesday so I’m linking with Trish at My Little Drummer Boys

My Little Drummer Boys

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye

And Ai at Sakura Haruka


60 Comments

Why I am cursing the end of school holidays!

While most mums are pulling victory laps of the school drop-off zone – I’m actually lamenting the end of the school holidays!

And no I haven’t gone soft in the head, I just really adored spending quality time with my oldest cherub, we also had lots of laughs.

Not surprisingly I also LOVED not having to force help two cheeky toddlers get dressed, put shoes on, get in the car, sit in their car seats, get strapped in to their car seats, be transferred to a stroller, not scream and hit me in the head, EVERY MORNING!

Borrowing the moo's helmet, sunglasses and cardigan - PINK PRINCESS

Styling it wearing my daughter’s helmet, sunglasses and cardigan – eat your heart out Pink!

My girl and I had such a great time bonding, dressing up, crafting, catching up with friends, riding her scooter, and playing Candy Crush Saga – sorry Jess it must have my daughter who asked you to “send me a life” (okay so it was me but let’s not tell anyone else 😉 )

In saying all of that – it just wouldn’t be a post from me if I didn’t point out a few obvious benefits of school.

QUESTIONS
For six hours a day I don’t have to answer 345 tricky questions from a curious and smart five-year-old, especially ones such as “what is a stiffy?” (thanks husband for this great terminology).

SEATBELTS
Instead of strapping three kids in the car, I only have two – that also means less toilet stops, fewer shoes to put on, fewer teeth to ensure are brushed, less time wasted picking clothes to wear, and less time spent spraying anti-cootie product in hair!

LIES
I can tell my three-year-old that Maccas has run out of chips, we have no ice blocks, and that there is a sign in every shop telling him that he can’t do the naughty thing he is doing!

SHUT EYE
While I didn’t get any more sleep, I did spend more time with my eyes closed, lying in bed and not worrying about having to get up and out the door at a certain time.

However, this was marred by the fact that No.3 had more time to learn how to open the fridge, pull out the water jug and attempt to fill his cup most mornings! I can’t believe the little monkey can actually do it, but I have a huge pile of towel washing to prove it!

I think the kids also enjoyed being allowed to watch more movies, I mean visual educational material 😉

I think it was about 7am when this photo was taken, and the first time I had actually got out of bed for the morning - BLISS. And surprisingly they aren't staring at the periodic table of elements, the TV is on!

I think it was about 7am when this photo was taken, and the first time I had actually got out of bed for the morning – BLISS. And surprisingly they aren’t staring at the periodic table of elements, the TV is on!

What do you LOVE or HATE about school going back?!

It’s Tuesday so linking with Jess from Essentially Jess