Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

Top tips to surviving extremely early wake ups


I’ve never had children that sleep in, no matter what time I put them to bed they wake up around 5 – 5.30am.

This is despite the fact their rooms have tinted windows, blinds and black-out curtains (obsessive much?)

But nothing works – I’ve tried days of keeping them up longer at night, putting them back to bed dozens of times and even tying their doors shut with string because we don’t have locks – EPIC FAILURES.

And unfortunately no one has invented a strap to keep kids in bed (hint hint).

Over the years I’ve relied on certain pick-me-ups to help me get through the constant tiredness that plagues me.

Meet my friends :)

Meet my friends 🙂 Image source

However, I have also developed a few coping mechanism of my own to survive 5am wakes ups.

And I’m going to share (which is something I don’t like to do – especially with the above three sanity savers)

It’s rare you’ll sleep through an entire night, so when you wake in the early hours say 2 or 3am, sneak into your walk-in-robe, under the stairs or even the car. This will not only give you more sleep but ensure children won’t find you for a LONG time.

When you wee treasures shake you, leap on you or poke you in the eye to wake you before dawn’s crack – just increase the noise level of your snoring or breathing. If they’re really young you can say “I’m still asleep” and they’ll believe you!

This is me playing dead, notice how the creatures are all crawling over me, trying to wake me up - but no I resist!

This is me playing dead, notice how the creatures are all crawling over me, trying to wake me up – but no I resist!

This one is a bit like trying to attract wild beasts – it requires you leaving food in a place they can see and will take, my favourite is strategically placing apples on the kitchen bench where they can reach them.

However, if you have small ones be warned – you’ll probably break a toe as you leap out of bed because you think you hear one of your children choking on apple skin.

But don’t be fooled these creatures have mastered the art of acting, and this could quite possibly be a ploy to get your ass outta bed and give them breakfast.

(Be warned they are also VERY good at finding unusual ways to wake you up in the morning)

Here is No.3 giving me the evil shit eye - he was just about to try another method of waking me up - chainsaw to the head!

Here is No.3 giving me the evil shit eye – he was just about to try another method of waking me up – chainsaw to the head!

There are days when you’ll say just about anything to keep your eyes closed for five more minutes, but be very careful what you promise kids. They have incredible memories and won’t forget you offered to take them hot air ballooning or give them chocolate for lunch!

Instead use trips to the park, painting or playing on the road trampoline as ways to get them to leave you in peace for a bit longer.

If you’re like me and fortunate enough to have family nearby, then invite them down to stay. They can be the bait, make them sleep in the lounge and the kids will come flocking to them instead of you!

And most of the time loved ones don’t mind doing the morning shift once in a while because they know you have a lifetime of it and they can bugger off the next day!

My gorgeous mum feeding No.3 at a stupidly early hour in the morning! THANKS mumma!

My gorgeous mum feeding No.3 at a stupidly early hour in the morning! THANKS mumma!

And if all else fails, refer to top image – but be careful which one you choose at 5.30am in the morning!!

What are you tips to surviving 5am wake ups? Or are you lucky enough to have kids who love sleep?

It’s Tuesday – aka IBOT with Jess from Essentially Jess


Author: Have A Laugh On Me

I'm a mum to three, write from home and I rarely cook, craft or clean but admire those who do. I try to live by the mantra that there's no point in worrying about something that might not happen! Be warned this is not a fluffy, sweet mummy blog, rather a place where you can cringe, laugh and be shocked at my brutally honest take on my life.

53 thoughts on “Top tips to surviving extremely early wake ups

  1. ha ha. That is so funny. I was talking to a friend the other day who has two little kids and she nearly died when I told her I didn’t get up until 10.00am (I’m on holidays).

  2. Oh wow. Your poor bugger. I am blessed with two sleepyheads who magically knew that daylight saving happened and adjusted themselves accordingly. Before that, I used to leave some milo cereal in a bowl with a lid so they could snack on that and taught them to turn on the TV (which I’d leave set to ABC for kids the night before) so they’d be self-sufficient for an additional hour before they’d come and hassle me. AWESOME mumming. ha.

  3. My kids were sleeping til around 7am but now that daylight savings has ended here in NSW its more like 5am….today was 4:30am! I already employ the old ‘ I’m still sleeping trick ‘ but one I like to use for my 3 yr old is putting the TV on ABC2 before I go to bed at night and then, in the morning when he wakes, telling Jim ‘ just go turn the TV on! ‘. This can sometimes get me an extra blissful half hour of snooze time before he complains of being hungry….

    • We had a 4.30 this morning also – ARGH, and because we never have daylight savings it just gets worse during summer. Mine are always hungry in the morning, it’s like they want to eat as soon as they open their eyes!

  4. I am cursed, I mean blessed with early risers too…the best is getting nana to stay and they annoy her ha ha. I must admit we occasionally cave to ABC2 but had to stop when our oldest son was sitting in front of the TV watching the test pattern, waiting for the shows to come on.

  5. Once again, we are very alike – I am of course referring to the top image 🙂
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

  6. Punky was doing really well there for a while and sleeping till around 7am most mornings and then about a month ago decided that wasn’t early enough and started aiming for between 6 and 6:30am. Now with daylight savings over that is even earlier, but I just refuse to let her out of bed before 6, no matter how much she whinges. I just throw a few toys in her cot and encourage her to play or go back to sleep because we do not get out of bed before 6am. If she wakes before 7 I get her a sippy cup filled with milk and the iPad, turn the baby monitor on so that I have a clear view of her entire room (love full-length mirrored built-in robe doors!) and close her bedroom door and jump back in bed. It’s my way of hitting snooze! She is content to play with the iPad or the toys in her room while she drinks her milk, I know her room is completely baby-safe, and I can flick on the video baby monitor at any time to check she is still drinking if I hear any loud noises! It’s not like I get any more solid sleep, but I get to lie in bed for an extra 20 mins and psych myself up for the day to come!

    • You’re a smart woman Ky, the think with my ‘baby’ is that he climbed out of cot when he was 13 months so is now in cot without sides so can get anywhere, open any door cupboard etc, as can ALL my three. I hope you’re getting some zzz’s now because you’ll need to store some up for when your beautiful girl arrives xx

  7. Thankfully K slept reasonably well and when she was old enough she would get out of bed and put a video on and sit and watch. We would lie in bed listening to her laughing and know exactlty where the story was up to by the way she laughed.
    Just now they will be all grown up and sleeping forever – then you can enjoy to lie in as long as you want.
    Have a great week !

  8. haha – freaking daylight savings is killing us softly. Nice topical post. Think you should definitely not have crossed out bribery – in our house it’s bribery black and white 🙂

  9. Mine were all hideously early risers too – I actually went through a period where if if was after 4.30 am then I didn’t even try to put them back to bed becuase there was just no point.

    They’re mostly great these days… except for this morning when I heard a ruckus in the lounge room while it was still dark. I checked my watch and saw it was 4.45 am so went out to investigate.

    Apparently Jack (10) had set his alarm so they could all get up early and play the Wii! They know I only let them play for an hour in the morning so this was their way of getting extra time. I said “Nice try” and sent the little buggers back to bed STAT!

    • Yep I agree, once it’s 4.30 there’s not much chance of mine going back down, although I’m still trying with my middle!
      Very clever re: the Wii – something I would have tried when I was young for sure 🙂

  10. So funny! I make sure the tv is set on abckids beforeI go to bed. All they have to do is turn on the tv first and it usually will work. This does not work if it is before 6am though! I have sprung a 6 year old sitting on the lounge, tv on, the blue screen of ABC kids not on air yet, patiently waiting.

  11. Ahahahahha I play dead too!! ;p Doesn’t work well sometimes but thank God she knows how to entertain herself with her own toys/books/iPad while mummy tries to snooze in a little longer ;p

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  12. MY KIDS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN EARLY RISERS – Yes, I did yell that! It’s is nice to know I am not alone. I will take comfort in the fact that when I am woken at 5am, you will be woken at 5am a couple of hours later hehehe. No seriously, I feel your pain!!!!!!! xx

  13. You are onto all my own favourite pick-me ups at number 1. We have the late and broken nights as opposed to the super early starts, but same effect. My son talks to me until around midnight often. To save me strangling him I have indulged in these boosters many a time BUT NOW my system is rebelling and my naturopath wants me to GIVE THEM ALL UP AT ONCE FOR A MONTH! (Well i can still have coffee, but without milk and sugar.) Haven’t started yet, but just the thought of it gives me an inkling someone may get hurt. #teamIBOT

    • You know I think I should try and give up all at once, but to be honest I’m not sure I could – maybe I should challenge myself! I couldn’t coffee without milk or sugar either, so a way to give that up also! Let me know if you can and do! Midday is a long haul after a long day 😦

  14. I was VERY good at number 2,which is why my older kids had figured out the tv and videos all by themselves by 3 and 4 (yes, vhs, that’s how old they are).

  15. OMG I can so relate. We put the TV on ABC 2 before we go to bed and make sure there is fruit in a bowl ready for Miss to grab in the morning! I hate early mornings.

  16. Mr 6 is starting to sleep in – and by sleep in I mean till 7 or 7.30am – so I’m calling that a win! Otherwise, its me and my mate coffee – we have a bond and I suspect with Mr 4 insisting on 6am wake ups – me and coffee have a long road ahead!
    Love the pics xx

    • Funny Josefa I would KILL for 6am starts, I think anything from 5.30 is bearable when they’re young. But I’ll be working on 7am so as they grow they know to leave me alone before then – wish I had started earlier!

  17. Omg you crack me up!!

  18. Bahahaha! Hilarious!
    We’re currently going through the curse of daylight savings. The twinlets have been getting up at 5:30am demanding to watch TV. Ugh. Tomorrow morning I’m going to try and play dead. See if that works. If not, I’ll come back to you for more advice! 🙂

  19. Man you make me laugh! I’m not claiming to be parent of the year but I’ve taught Mr 4 to quietly put on the telly. When Missy cries he climbs into her cot and they play. 7am baby!!!

  20. Brilliant! Thanks for the giggle 🙂 You are going to HATE me, but I have two babies who are pretty good at sleeping in. Generally I can get them to sleep until 7, sometimes it’s 6, and occasionally I even get 8am wake ups in winter.

  21. I’m actually doing ok (whispering so as not to jinx it) as the kids are sleeping til about 6.15. Could be way worse first week of no daylight savings.
    One of your points reminded of something my Mum did recently though. We were all staying at my bro’s house and when I took her morning tea in she played dead. No shit.
    How wrong is that???
    Funny woman.
    When she actually dies we’ll probably go out for breakfast and leave her there 😉

  22. I think I have done all of the above except number 1. Playing dead worked for a while but now that they’re older, I am going to have to restrategise. I may or may not have also errr negotiated extra sleep on a weekend by allowing iPod time…
    Great post Em 🙂

  23. Haha, these are fabulous Em! Have definitely used No.5.
    Bell gets up and watches TV on the weekends now, but wakes me first to let me know I can have a sleep-in. xx

  24. Bahaha! Love it!!

    Lior is to young for these yet, but I’m bookmarking it to come back to these later!!

  25. I feel your pain, sort of. Nick has always been an early riser, but I’m lucky my hubby doesn’t leave at the same ungodly hour yours does, so he’s normally around to watch him while I sleep! Plus he’s old enough now he does whatever he wants, really!

  26. we have early rises as well, thankfully though they are slowly learning that until the sun is up which is not till around 6 here, they are not to wake me. Mind you they are all just about old enough to go and play quietly (read watch TV) without help from me now

  27. Mine always wake early – thankfully they “sleep in” until 6am these days. Whatever works! This is going in my Festa of Favourites 🙂 http://francescawriteshere.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/francescas-festa-of-favourites-april.html

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