Minutes before I planned to publicly fake an orgasm on stage I wasn’t sure I could go through with it.
Especially since I’m not a great faker to start with!
But I did it – much to the shock of everyone 🙂
On Saturday night I was a ‘celebrity’
o-grade speaker for a Women’s Health and Wellbeing Expo Great Debate.
It’s been at least a decade since I’ve spoken publicly – well except to tell off my three children – and I didn’t know if I could do it.
But I was so excited to be asked by the fantastic event organiser, Jo @ Breeze Events, and felt honoured to be involved in such a great Gold Coast community event.
Here’s proof I did it!
But being a last minute Larry – I still hadn’t completed my speech 48 hours before the event.
However, to cut myself some slack, on Thursday I dropped sticks to surprise my big sister (in hospital) and honestly didn’t have time to write it beforehand.
I did give it a shot on the way up in the plane!
For some reason what I wrote a little tipsy wasn’t as good as I thought it was – strange that ;).
So my gorgeous sissy and I spent the day before the debate nutting out my speech.
We spent lots of time laughing – just what she needed.
I had to speak for five minutes on why Nice Girls Come First.
As I said, I opened my speech with an O – I’m sure the audience thought I was imitating a screaming monkey!
But I told the audience:
NO – it was just me COMING first! (thankfully the crowd laughed, some clapped – bless their cotton socks).
Then I followed with this:
I know I am not the only nice girl who comes first in the bedroom.
Take well-known, all-round great gal Kate Middleton, wife of Prince William.
I BET SHE TREATS HER WILLY BY COMING FIRST.
I didn’t BANG on about this, and made my point that I thought you could still come first by being a nice girl the majority, but not all, of the time.
Anyway – I had two awesome supporters who laughed at my jokes and made the speech a little easier.
As I took to the stage, my lil’ sis called my older sis (who helped me write my speech) and she heard the debate via phone from her hospital bed.
She text me later saying:
“Well done Ems, I got to hear it and was so proud of you, I was crying.
Take pleasure in knowing you were asked there and have balls to get up on stage.
Oh so proud, now get drinking!”
(and because I always do what I’m told – I did – get drinking that is).
And while the best part of the night was sitting down after my speech (I was the LAST speaker), the main highlight was comedian Mandy Nolan – our MC.
She did a stand-up routine before the debate.
Shit that girl can make me laugh and she had the crowd in stitches – I nearly wet my pants (damn you bubbly and having three kids in three and a half years).
And during her routine before the debate I sneaked out front to listen to her – she’s a hoot!
She is someone I admire – she is honest, brutal and hilarious – and without sounding like a groupie, I LOVE HER!
ANYHOE – for embarrassing myself in public – I was given a facial voucher, a lovely drop of red, chocolates, and other goodies.
But what I loved most about the night was that I stepped out of my comfort zone and spoke alongside a great calibre of women.
It was exhilarating and freaky at the same time.
In saying that – I’d do again in a heartbeat.
Would you get up and have pretend to fake an O in front of 100 people? Are you a confident public speaker?
And do you think NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST?
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