On being a bitch, a lover, a saint and a sinner!

June 18, 2013 by Have A Laugh On Me 57 Comments

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother!

I’m a sinner, I’m a saint, I do not feel ashamed.

Does this sound familiar?

If you’re old, but not too old, you will have heard this song and sung your lungs out at karaoke to it at some stage!

While the creator of these lyrics, Alanis Morissette, isn’t everyone’s cup of whiskey – this song got me thinking about how we change once we become totally unprepared responsible parents.

Once kids come along we can forget who we are, and many people change completely.

I know I’m not exactly the same person I was BHTLS (Before Having Three Little Shits Sweethearts)!

But every now and then the ‘old me’ comes out to play – you know what I mean?

Here’s the old me – resurfacing when I had a weekend without kids in Cairns! Here I am a little bit tipsy pulling selfies on a plane with my sissy!

So with the help of Alanis, here is a look at some personalities that can surface despite my motherhood status!

I’m a bitch

If someone takes a second glance at my screaming child at the supermarket and shakes their head – I will say: “Really? Do you think that’s going to make him stop screaming you old fart?”

Or I’ll say: “You only have to put up with it for two minutes, I have to listen to it all day MOFO ! (okay so I don’t say MOFO but it sounded cool right?)

I’m a lover

(this space is empty because my mum reads this 😉 )

I’m a child

Here is proof, I was rocking Gangham Style last weekend, can you pick me out?

I’m not doing an impression of a swooping hawk, that is me throwing some NASTY shapes on the dance floor!

I’m a mother

Which means I have to try not to laugh when my son asks his younger brother to pull finger so he can fart!

I also lick my finger and use my spittle to wipe stuff off my children’s faces before they go to school/kindy/out/destroy the peace at the local playground!

But here’s a quick tip that makes this process easier, get your kids to lick their OWN fingers and then use their slobber to wipe off the mess.

And considering all kids DEVOUR their boogers like they’re chocolate, how can they protest?

YUM YUM – snot tastes so nice! Image source

I’m a sinner

I get speeding tickets (strangely, always when I’m without the kids), I like a drinkie or four, and I will totally pig out on chocolate, bread & butter and deep-fried camembert with plum sauce (gluttony).

I’m a saint

I will tell a friend that “it’s okay or I didn’t even notice” when it isn’t, because I know they didn’t mean to offend or upset me, and that sometimes I can be too sensitive (working on that).

Even though I’m in a hurry too, I will let the old person (they always only buy one or two things I swear) go ahead of me in the Aldi queue.

Why are you a bitch, a saint or a sinner?

Does the ‘old you’ come out to play every now and then? Or is s/he still your dominant personality?

Come on, fess up, it’s good for the soul – just ask Kirsty at My Home Truths – every Monday she makes peeps spill their guts!

It’s Tuesday and I Blog

Linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess for IBOT