Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

A tirade targeting twats, gits and Kim Kardashian


Someone once told me I had a short fuse.

Sadly – that person is no longer with us.

Yes I am Keanu, well spotted dude!

Yes I am Keanu, well spotted dude!

No I’m not that bad, I just speak out about things that irritate me.

And while there’s plenty of injustices in the world that infuriate me, eg women not being treated equally, genocide, racism, and animals being slaughtered for no reason, there’s also a few things closer to home that make my blood boil and pulse race.

What I rant and rave on about:

I can’t vote – in fact I am only a ‘resident for tax purposes’ because I arrived here after 2001. New Zealanders have to jump through more hoops than most other nationalities to get citizenship (I’m going red just thinking about it).

How Australian politicians slag each other off, it’s very childish, have you ever watched a debate in Parliament, I cringe in embarrassment at times.

The ‘news’ on the big commercial networks – they make news instead of breaking the news. And don’t get me started on what is considered newsworthy on these three main channels. Give me ABC or SBS news any day.

SBS World News Australia - for those who really want to know what's happening in the world - she is my favourite SBS news reader.   Image source

SBS World News Australia – for those who really want to know what’s happening in Australia and the world – this woman is my favourite SBS news reader. Image source

People who drive slowly in the fast lane and then don’t move over because they think they’re going fast enough and that we should slow down.

Reality TV shows, talking about irritating, especially when it makes people such as Kim Kardashian famous. Who the hell is she anyhow, someone please tell me why she is so famous? Did she try and help to find a cure for cancer? Assist in helping to find the answer to global warming? Now those people are the ones we should be making famous.

Those selfish gits who put non-Aldi shopping trolleys behind the bigger, nicer and more comfortable token-only Aldi ones – lazy snots! How hard is it really to put your trolley in the right slot so I don’t have to move three trolleys with a screaming toddler in my arms?

Drivers who get cranky at having to stop at pedestrian crossings – it’s my right to cross the road without getting knocked over you twat!

Friends who appear to be listening and talking to you but also have one ear listening for a juicier conversation – when they find one they leap into it leaving you talking to yourself – RUDE.

Receptionists at the doctors, I know they are around sick, miserable people all day, but that’s no excuse for acting like nasty guard dogs.


Husbands who take out the trash and forget to put in a new rubbish bag before I scrape off dinner leftovers into the bin.

The fact that my stupid blog theme doesn’t have bullet points – GRRR.

Do any of these things make your blood boil also? Or are you guilty of one of the above – go on admit it – you really love a bit of Kim, Survivor and Real Housewives?

This rant was prompted by the crew @ The Lounge – this week hosted by Robomum


I’m also linking with Blogs and PR for Talk to Us Thursday


84 thoughts on “A tirade targeting twats, gits and Kim Kardashian

  1. well, i’m not sure if i’ve ever done it to YOU, but I know i’ve been guilty of listening to other conversations and jumping in! i couldn’t possibly have done it to you because i only do it when people are boring me! and i thought my husband was the only one who didn’t replace bin liners! must be a MAN thing!

  2. LOL (I know I shouldn’t) but you have some classics there !
    Not a fan of reality shows although I did watch quite a bit of The Voice. Used to laugh at Dancing with the Stars when they had to spend about 10 mins explaining who the star actually was ? If you have to spend that long they probably aren’t a star – and being married to a star doesn’t make you one either !!!!
    We found it really difficult to cross roads when we arrived here – we were definitely not used to just getting to a pedestrian crossing and walking – most times you took you life into your own hands if you wanted to cross the road – at a pedestrian crossing or not !! I love pedestrian crossings here but becareful if you decide to drive through when I am walking across – you will definitely hear me !!!
    Have the best day !

    • Agreed, being married to a cousin of someone famous doesn’t entitle you to dance your ass off! As for pedestrian crossings, I can’t believe some people just won’t stop – SHITS ME! Have a great weekend ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Lol. Hmmm yes, well, I am a bit of a Kim fan …

    Friends only half listening to me is one of my pet peeves for sure and the whole Aldi trolley thing drives me nuts too. I wish I knew about this theme for the Lounge this week. I do love a good rant. Oh well, next time.

  4. I was scared for a minute when I saw your blog title on Facebookโ€ฆ I thought uh oh.. what have I done???? But it’s all good. This week I haven’t been a money-hungry, famous for my own sake, attention-seeking poser. Let’s see what next week holds shall we?

    • Do elaborate, or is it in your post? Love being money hungry and famous – and a poser! As if I could ever be nasty to someone as lovely and funny as you (but don’t push it blondie) ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

  5. Reality shows, especially Kim Kardashian can piss off!

  6. Oooh I really felt like ranting today but didn’t have time to blog ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    Must admit I’m a reality TV junkie ๐Ÿ˜ I can’t help watching!

  7. I actually blogged about the state of our politics too, and the “Dear friend” I was referring to who couldn’t vote was you! Here’s the post http://coloursofsunset.wordpress.com/2012/03/27/queensland-votes/

  8. oh, definitely got me on the TRASH one!!

  9. I am ALWAYS on about the rubbish. I hate the shit drivers. I cannot stand paying for my trolley, even if I do get it back. And the receptionist at my doc is just a plain old picky and choosy eye-roller. You raise some very important issues here my friend. Very important issues.

  10. I agree on the news. When did what happened in a reality tv show constitute news…oh, look, it’s on just next…are we really that stupid?? Oh, yes we are as they wouldn’t keep doing it…

  11. I’m with you on so many of these. I couldn’t live without bullet points! I can’t believe the difference in the news between the commercial stations and ABC/SBS, you find out so much MORE from Auntie ABC and Co. And what is it with doctor’s receptionists (a breed I have had entirely too much to do with lately …)?!

  12. No bullet points! OMG! YOU NEED TO FIX THAT SHIT STAT!!!!!
    I endorse all of your rants, bullet points or not. Particularly the news. NEVER COMMERCIAL! NEVER EVER!

  13. Can’t stay and listen long, I think someone else is writing something more interesting over on another blog, but whilst I’m here…
    Nothing worse than putting rubbish into a bin that doesn’t have a bin liner because someone has been LAZY. Half a job people! Finish it off!

  14. If some dickwad decides to beep their horn at my while I am crossing at a zebra crossing then I see no other choice but to walk the slowest they have ever seen a human being walk.

  15. Love it Em. My husband might be guilty of the same thing. I also get frustrated when people aren’t actually listening!

  16. You’re awesome Em! I am totally on board with all these rants! I can’t believe you can’t vote – that’s just bloody stupid!! Also, the bin thing drives me crazy – kind of like the toilet seat being left up & I go stumbling in there in the dark hours of the night only to almost fall in the bowl & freeze by butt cheeks off! Hate it so!!
    Oh BTW – thanks for the sweet smile comment – I cringe everytime I see my pic anywhere, so that was nice to hear! ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. – VOTING: what’s the point … the politicians are as bad as each other anyway
    – POLITICIANS DEBATES: agreed, embarrassing
    – NEWS: agreed, just don’t watch it
    – FAST LANE: totally agreed – worse in Qld
    – REALITY TV: don’t pay for foxtel, so no idea about Kardashian … but I do LOVE The Block and House Rules!
    – ALDI TROLLEYS: haven’t experienced that, but agreed
    – PEDESTRIAN CROSSINGS: oh really? haven’t seen that – v rude
    – FRIENDS NOT LISTENING: agreed. and worse, when they just want to talk about themselves – conversations are a two-way street
    – RECEPTIONISTS: our doctors receptionist is nice
    – HUSBANDS and RUBBISH: baaaaargh – that would kill me. Doesn’t happen here…but lots of other things do!
    – BULLET POINTS: that should sh1t me too

  18. I wholly agree with anything and everything you said. You give good rant! (Plus you’ve scared me just a little!)

  19. “Resident for tax purposes” but you can’t vote? Sounds like a rip-off and that they only want your money! Hate it when hubs doesn’t put in a new trash bag or toilet paper roll after changing the old one out. It’s part of the process of changing it!

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  20. Is it bad that I found myself nodding in recognition with just about EVERY ONE of your (non-bullet) points?! At the risk of sounding a bit Seinfeld-ish, what is the DEAL with doctor receptionists anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever met a nice friendly one?! I always feel like shouting at them “All you do is answer phones and make appointments, FFS, you’re not guarding the gates of Heaven!”

    Whoops, got a bit ranty there myself. Sorry!

    • LOVE a rant that brings on a rant! And isn’t it annoying NOT to have bullet points?! And you are SO right about doctor receptionists, they are on par with school receptionists, (well some of them)

  21. Love it – although I can vote if I choose to register even though I am still a Kiwi I have obviously been here longer than you…. and you are quite correct, I DID have the papers to become a citizen then promptly filed them in the WAY TOO HARD bin….. have you ever tried to cross a road in a third world country – now that is something you could get on the proverbial soap box about, have you tried flashing the lights behind the slowies, works a treat… oops I think there is a sign saying ‘tail-gating’ causes accidents – it wasn’t me!!!!!! Have a great day!!

    • And yes crossing the road in a third world country is like a game of Frogger!!!! I try to avoid flashing lights, but only because knowing my luck cops would see me and I’d get closer to losing my license, bloody demerit points ๐Ÿ˜ฆ x Thanks for visit

  22. Love it, agreed with all of them – especially the Aldi trolley return nightmare. I usually move all the other trolleys to find the next aldi one has its chain broken so now I can’t even get my token back! I think I’m officially an angry old woman. But I did laugh too so at least I’m an angry old woman with a sense of humour.

  23. Lovely vintage Keanu. You know I’m not pissed off by Reality TV because that would mean I had to find the mental energy to care. However I am ashamed that I know Kim Kardashian has butt implants. Why would anyone undergo expensive, painful and risky surgery to make their butt bigger.
    It would surely be fun to listen to you rant in situ. I normally just nod and smile and keep my opinions to myself until it all gets too much and I open the flood gates on the blog.

    • Really? I just can’t sit there and smile and nod anymore, I used to but now I just blurt it out! Probably because I have only had kids to talk to for the past 5 years since I stopped full time work! However, I do know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em – eg if I don’t know the person very well or if I know we’ll end up on the floor wrestling ๐Ÿ™‚ x

  24. Ha ha! What is it with medical receptionists? In fact I’d probably add school office receptionists to that rant as well … and big company receptionists – very similar demeanour. I know they have to deal with sick/annoying people all day but seriously!! Every now and then I feel vaguely curious about what the appeal of the Kardashians is, because I’ve never seen any of their shows (or whatever it is they appear on!) but I’m not curious enough to seek them out. Good rant Em!

  25. Hee hee, too true. For me, it’s neighbours complaining to the council because I have used our own driveway to have a pile of mulch delivered. Apparently, it’s unsightly. Imagine having that much time on your hands to complain about this stuff…

    • How ridiculous – unless it’s been there like two weeks then who cares? You know – our neighbours have bamboo leaves that fall in to our pool and are a nightmare and I haven’t done shit about it because the council doesn’t care ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for visit

  26. I’m with you on all of those. Stupid people should not be famous! Add to my list of pet peeves – bullies. No matter how young or old you are there is no excuse for being a bully.

  27. Oh why are people so bloody rude when they think they might be missing out on a better convo?!!!
    I’m a bit scared to tell you this Ranty McRanterson, but I love The Amazing Race…..can we still be friends? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  28. People who turn onto the road in front of you and cut you off, then take ages to speed up, then slow down to turn right across traffic without indicating and have to stop because of on-coming traffic, so you have to slam on the brakes on a wet road and narrowly avoid rear-ending the bastard with a carload of kids on the way home from school on a Friday afternoon.

    *Breathe, Francesca…

  29. I was watching abc1 last night and realised just how negative all the news is. Now I know we say this but it really occured to me that the new hardly ever shows the wanderful good things that happen around the world. I was mainly concerned for my kids watching it. I would hate for them to think war happens everywhere!

    • Well as a journo it’s true – only the bad stuff gets reported, BUT, if you read small community newspapers etc, they highlight the good stuff! Sadly though war does happen everywhere ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  30. Woah! That is a list!!!
    I love Lee Lin Chin! She’s my favourite news reporter too. Proud to say we were born in the same city – Jakarta! See, that place isn’t all chaos and pot holes after all! ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Em I was looking forward to reading your rant and of course you didn’t disappoint. SBS News FTW!! And I totally agree with you about reality TV – aren’t we (as a society) done with that yet?
    Rach x – PS I love your Keanu meme it’s is THE BOMB!

  32. You had me laughing from your opening line about your short fuse, and I kept on laughing all the way through. I’m all about the bullet points. No idea how you manage to blog without them, but you do – and brilliantly! LOVE IT!xo

  33. I don’t have anything specific to rant about ….but gee why do some people call their babies such stupid names for when they are born? Don’t they think about what that sweet little baby have to grown up with while going to school and later on in life???
    And how hard can it be for people to be nice to each other online? Just because people “Hide” online behind fake names doesn’t mean that they can say whatever they want without hurting other people’s feelings!
    Gosh I guess i did have a Rant after all ๐Ÿ™‚

    Your opening sentence rocked!

    • I have had a few people take to heart generic comments but so far I haven’t had nasties online! Touch wood. I have to say I also hate people who aren’t what they say they are online. I know it’s easy to do but if you meet me you would get no surprises, I am what I am. Loving that you had a rant, and that you visited, much appreciated ๐Ÿ™‚ Em

  34. I have many! But one of late that has been pissing me off is peoples inability to use high beam correctly. I am SICK of being blinded by idiots! I saw your lights coming beyond the rise, yet somehow you completely ignore that you can see mine, think it’s ok to shut them off when ever you feel like it, if at all? Perhaps after I have swerved to my death because I couldn’t see 5 metres in front of my car!

    So um yeah, I really hate that.

    • That used to annoy the shit out of me when I lived in NZ! It’s not really relevant here in the big smoke of the GC! I used to ALWAYS flash someone if their lights weren’t on low. Thanks for giving me a smile ๐Ÿ™‚

  35. Man, you get a lot of comment love Em! Obviously you struck a chord with this post! I was nodding all the way through reading it. I have plenty too, but the driving one gets me. We don’t have many highways that are wide enough to have a fast-lane here is Tassie, most people think we are all perpetually in the slow-lane anyway! But people who cruise along slowly and then speed up at the overtaking lane, that gets on my goat! And my car isn’t powerful enough to overtake them. Very frustrating! Have a great week!

    • You know Nat, when I lived in the South Island of NZ, Wanaka, all one lane and at the very rare passing lane, those road maggots, campervans, would try to speed up – shits me to tears! Have a happy week and thanks for visit/comment ๐Ÿ™‚ Em

  36. I have to admit that I’m a closet Survivor fan. Mr Banya and I watch every single episode together and we often romance about one day going on the show ourselves. (Not that I would last, I’d get voted out first for sure).

  37. We’ve banned ACA and similar shows in our house. I was worried that the kids wouldn’t be able to differentiate the drivel from the news – I know adults that can’t!
    PS. North? Tell me that kids middle name is Meets!

  38. I don’t know what Aldi senior executive lives in your suburb but the Aldi trolleys in my shopping centre are utter crap. If I am going to go to the trouble of foraging for a coin or my Aldi token I’d like them to easily disengage from the trolley they’ve been jammed into. There. That’s my rant for the day.

    • Got to have a good rant every day, makes the days easier to deal with! We have new ALDI trolleys here, big, clean, with straps that work – then again maybe ALDI is a newbie to QLD ๐Ÿ™‚

  39. Haha, thanks for the giggles. (Sorry if I was supposed to see red instead of laugh!)

    I HATE REALITY TELEVISION. Hubby loves to watch those vile pawn shop shows. VOMIT.

    And he also seems to prefer watching those shows to replacing the liner in the bin. I’m so sick of cleaning the bin! x

  40. Receptionists at Doctors surgery = Blood boiling over !
    My pediatrician acts like she’s guarding the pearly gates with an AK47 , and I’ve sat in the waiting room hearing her tell Person A on the phone (after 10 minutes of questioning) that there are no appointments for 3 months, then slot Person B in for a checkup next week. Arrggghhh Slag.
    Rant over

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