Ermmmm – I don’t mean to brag but FIGJAM!
I’ve totally done some really boring shit amazeballs shart this week, even though I’ve been knee-high in cranky, sick kids who can’t be bribed, negotiated or reasoned with!
But because my awesomeness has no boundaries, I’m going to stick to FIVE things that I know this week:
1. BUTTON BABY
Totally sucked it up and made this (doesn’t matter it took me two hours when it can honestly be done in 15 minutes).
<div align="center"><a href="https://havealaughonme.wordpress.com/" title="Have a laugh on me"><img src="http://i1330.photobucket.com/albums/w568/havealaughonme/772dded9-c456-45ef-bd7e-92677d115c59_zpsee6923f2.jpg" alt="Have a laugh on me" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
I got inspiration from the clever and lovely Rhianna from A Parenting Life she wrote how to do this about five months ago. If I can do it, you can do it and you can lean how to do it here.
2. GUINEA PIGS
They are freakishly bony, squeak like a baby book all day and are scared of their own shadows. Thank gawd we were just caretakers for the weekend – give me a snake any day!
Check out those red eyes, and no truly, it’s not the camera’s fault, they have some serious death stares going on there!
3. CHICKEN LEGS
‘They’ say that if you walk/bump in to things that you don’t usually knock then it’s a sign that you’ve put on weight (totally have – but how did ‘they’ know? – wankers).
But this week I nearly broke my chicken-leg-shin in half – after four days it’s still sore. I walked FULL TIT into the kid’s new play table.
The Husband laughed (and totally lost his ‘action’ privilege for the month – that will learn him!). Seriously though, why can’t they fake their sympathy like we fake giving a shit about their boring day at work??
Okay, okay, so it doesn’t look like life or death here but truly there is still blood showing (isn’t there?).
4. SLEEP OVER
My five-year-old left for a night sleeping away, a two-hour drive I might add – for the FIRST TIME EVER!
I missed her the second she got in to her nanny’s car :(.
Could she be any cuter – notice the boots – she is much trendier than her mum!
She called me four times in as many hours and then again just before she fell asleep.
I miss not giving her a lullaby and back scratch – our nightly ritual.
The feeling that part of my heart is not sleeping under the same roof as me is a little unnerving :(.
5. GUNS
My kids found a toy gun, teamed it with my sun hat, my size 10 men’s ugly boots, and then proceeded to play.
Surely someone is going to complain that she is pointing a gun at me – notice my gorgeous boy in background with googles, surely this makes up for the gun-toting child?
Now back when I was a kid we played “cowboys and itchy bums” and I turned out okay – in fact I am more socially/racially/emotionally sensitive than many people I know.
So when my girl pointed a toy gun at me, why did I flinch?
Was it because I know that innocent lives are being lost by guns?
She doesn’t know this is happening and I certainly don’t want her to – especially at this age, surely we can’t stop kids from being kids?
Have you been shot at with a toy gun and kinda felt a little wrong?
Do you fake giving a shit about your other half’s day?
And just in case you didn’t get the hint to grab my button to see it properly the first time.
FEAST THEM EYES AGAIN……… AND GRAB MA BUTTON!
(I know buttons aren’t exactly ‘cool’ to bloggers anymore, but I have always wanted one).
<div align="center"><a href="https://havealaughonme.wordpress.com/" title="Have a laugh on me"><img src="http://i1330.photobucket.com/albums/w568/havealaughonme/772dded9-c456-45ef-bd7e-92677d115c59_zpsee6923f2.jpg" alt="Have a laugh on me" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
Flogging my button blog with Grace @ With Some Grace
And also joining up with Miss Cinders @ The Miss Cinders for Things I Know
And one more time – because I’m very immature like that!
<div align="center"><a href="https://havealaughonme.wordpress.com/" title="Have a laugh on me"><img src="http://i1330.photobucket.com/albums/w568/havealaughonme/772dded9-c456-45ef-bd7e-92677d115c59_zpsee6923f2.jpg" alt="Have a laugh on me" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
Have a laugh on me 
June 28, 2013 at 7:39 am
I’m grabbing a button cause I love them….. Also played the cowboys and itcybums as kids. I think we now have a tendency to be way over politically correct….it’s that media bandwagon that has become oh so important….just saying….. 🙂
June 30, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Aww thanks Lynne , saw it there. Yep it’s PC overload x
June 28, 2013 at 8:26 am
LOL – thanks for the laugh !!! I walked into the kist at the end of our bed the other night because I had already switched all the lights off and my spatial perception was a little off – a few colourful words flew out of my mouth !!!! The bruise is still there !
Have the best day !
Me
June 30, 2013 at 8:47 pm
Ouch! Hate it when it happens. x
June 28, 2013 at 8:30 am
You totally are all kinds of awesome! I so love your button, I am so pleased those posts made enough sense to be used by at least one person! I will be giggling all day about the fake sympathy from men based on what we fake for them lol
Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses you clever clogs!
June 30, 2013 at 8:48 pm
Ha ha so true, I thought I’d better keep it pc in that respect x the tutorial was great x
June 28, 2013 at 8:50 am
I totally need to make a button just like that… and I will… but when!? Will keep this post open until I get a grip and do it. Know what you mean about the sleepovers but I got used to it and now laugh at how easy life is when I am on my own with the three kids not all four (we have been this week as husband and eldest away- a breeze cos they are older thank goodness).
Hope your leg is rejuventated ASAP>
July 1, 2013 at 10:01 am
I’m sure just taking one out of the mix makes a big difference! Leg is on the mend, but not so great with toddler boots it accidentally 😦
June 28, 2013 at 8:59 am
Those are evil eyes for sure! Id be scared to have them in the house in case they crawl out and scratch my face in the middle of the night hahahahaha. Hope your shin heals well and congrats on making your own button!
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
July 1, 2013 at 10:02 am
Thanks Ai – and the wee guinea pigs were kept in a cage thankfully – they’re not very cuddly pets 🙂
June 28, 2013 at 9:04 am
the best site to get a button is here: http://www.mycoolrealm.com/sandbox/gbgen/
Love your button! Maybe you could grab mine too!! he he – only if you want to.
July 1, 2013 at 10:04 am
I do love your button – and once I change my blog around, it’s happening soon – I plan to make a space for button love, at mo the ones I have are those that I link with 🙂
June 28, 2013 at 9:53 am
Having made a blog button for the My Week According to Instagram linky, I take my hat off to you! I’m not happy with mine but it’ll do for now til I get some time to fix it 😉
Love the pix of the kids, and can’t help thinking our homes look quite alike – great taste right there!
July 1, 2013 at 10:08 am
I reckon your button is great! I need to figure out how to link it to blog now! Mmmm
June 28, 2013 at 10:18 am
Cowboys and itchy bums was a great game as a kid. My kids go full pelt Nerf warfare at our house. It’s more “Halo” than cowboys.
Your leg looks sore … and you’re right … we listen to their boring office politics mumbo jumbo, there should be more sympathy for the skinning of shins.
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
July 1, 2013 at 10:09 am
I’m sure my boys will get into Nerf and Halo stuff, oh the things I have to look forward to – thanks for sympathy – women are so much better at it than me 🙂
June 28, 2013 at 10:32 am
Oh I totally fake giving a shit about my husband’s day at work and I’m sure he reciprocates the favour when I tell him about our exciting day of playing dolls and colouring etc. I used to love playing cowboys and indians when I was a kid. We also played another game where my aunt used to pretend she was a witch and kidnapped us, tied us up and pretended to eat us. Sounds total cray now, but we loved it at the time!
July 1, 2013 at 10:13 am
Aww you’re a good wifey – and that witch game sounds fun, and I’m sure it was when you girls were older and weren’t so scared of those things!
June 28, 2013 at 11:03 am
Thanks for the tip on the button – should I ever design a banner, then it will come in handy (and I wonder why people don’t pay me?) As for the guns – as long as you are teaching them to prepare for the Zombie infestation, then I think it’s a good play idea…
July 1, 2013 at 10:14 am
Ah-ha! Zombie invasion, fantastic idea – thanks for laugh! And as for button, it would be even better if I could change the look of my blog with some knowledge – I’m clueless
June 28, 2013 at 11:37 am
Good Job with the button – it must be the week for it – I made one too! and I totally get how it should take 15 min but took a few hours!!
July 1, 2013 at 10:16 am
I’ll have to check your button out! Hope you’re enjoying holidays 🙂
June 28, 2013 at 11:49 am
Oh I totally need to create a button! Its been on the list of shit to do for over a year now because Im scared it will take me 2-3 hrs as well.
July 1, 2013 at 10:16 am
As long as you’ve got the right pic and a good site to tell you how it’s easy(ish) just wasn’t for me! YOU CAN DO IT!
June 28, 2013 at 11:50 am
You are SO clever making a button Em!! I’m hopeless with anything but the basics, I’ll learn one day 🙂
Definitely played cowboys and itchybums, me and my sister, and we’re kinda OK.
You really gave that leg a good whack, be careful!!! x
July 1, 2013 at 10:17 am
Thanks Lis, but considering how long it took me it should be much cooler – now I have to figure out how to change blog! And yes ‘mum’ I will be careful with shin next time 🙂 x
June 28, 2013 at 12:08 pm
I always feel a bit surprised when I see kids playing guns – it IS quite confronting, and I think, also a lot less common than when we were growing up. I don’t really mind those games, just feel a bit weird, like you described.
July 1, 2013 at 10:23 am
I think I’ll try and stick to water pistols as someone suggested below – that was not as ‘weird’
June 28, 2013 at 12:37 pm
Your blog hates me today! This is my last attempt at replying before I throw my computer!
Ouchy on the shin! You have my sympathy! I have an awesome bruise on my knee from the littlies doll house moving into my way the other night. Totally not impressed.
My kids have heaps of NERF guns, one of their favourite games is “bang”. People get shot all over the place here at least once a week. I have friends who think I’m wrong for letting the kids play with them… but the way I see it kids are kids. I played cowboys and itchy bums when I was little, and so did everyone else I knew as a kid. None of us have grown up to be bad people… My thoughts are the same as Lynnes on the whole gun thing… she just said it better than I ever could!
MC x
#thingsiknow
July 1, 2013 at 10:24 am
I’m sure I’ve got friends who will think that, none will probably say to my face though! Mmm so are they friends? Now that’s got me thinking. Sorry my blog wasn’t friendly – must have had PMS 😉 x
June 28, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Love your button – I made one but it’s complete crap, so I could use a decent tutorial.
I don’t usually fake interest in my husband’s day, because his job is actually quite interesting to me (politics) so I’m usually keen to catch up on the goss. As for guns, my two boys love their nerf guns, my girls are totally uninterested. It doesn’t particularly bother me, even though I’m not a big fan of guns in general, but I figure, they’re kids, it’s no big deal, and certainly if I made a fuss then it would turn into a big deal!
July 1, 2013 at 10:25 am
I’m sure I’d find political stuff kinda interesting too! And I have to say I am usually quite interested in his day, just annoying when I can’t change the outcome 😦 Good luck trying button again 🙂
June 28, 2013 at 2:59 pm
Noice button, well done! Maybe you should do a link-up so you can spread your button-y love all over the blogoshere!? I love that you do lullabies and back scratches. My husband is on nigh-nighs duty most nights, right now he is getting through 50 second-hand Thomas the Tank Engine books, better him than me. But the young chaps love it. Have a great weekend Em! xx
July 1, 2013 at 10:29 am
Do you know how to link-up Nat??!! I need to find out – it’s my aim, just haven’t figured out how yet!
I have to say my hubby does do most of night reading which is nice, esp after I’ve had them for 12 hours by myself! 🙂
June 28, 2013 at 3:26 pm
You totally crack me up! I am so grabbing one of your buttons (pardon the pun) although could you send it across one more time. I think I missed it! Re your daughters boots – super cute as is she 😉
June 28, 2013 at 3:34 pm
Excuse me, I just wanted to let you know that your button is now on my page. :0)
http://fitmotherhubbard.com
July 1, 2013 at 10:30 am
Aww bless Neets – you ROCK! Thanks a million hun! Have a great week x
June 28, 2013 at 4:53 pm
Love your button Em. Also love that you are capable of getting such awesome air – those chicken legs obviously get the job done!
July 1, 2013 at 10:30 am
Yep my chicken legs do help in springing me to action A xx 🙂
June 28, 2013 at 4:54 pm
LOVE the button… and the button… and the button. I’ll never tire of it. Guns are bad. Water pistols are fun. Oh, the irony. I pretend to care about my husband’s day, sometimes. I don’t bore him with mine, so I don’t owe him any attention, which is helpful. My kids also looked ridiculous in my boots this week. Had a laugh on you, Em. It was rollicking. Thanks.
June 28, 2013 at 5:03 pm
FYGJAYAM!
I will promptly edit my Blogroll page to add your button and remove the boring old link!
July 1, 2013 at 10:31 am
You are too kind, thanks so much 🙂 xx
June 28, 2013 at 8:11 pm
You always give me a good giggle Em. Thanks. Love your button.
BTW I linked to you on Always Josefa’s share on FB today. Love your work. xx
July 1, 2013 at 10:32 am
Thanks Zanni – I appreciate the kind words – and also for the shout out! Em 🙂
June 28, 2013 at 8:35 pm
I am so glad I have chaos to be the button maker around here…
And yes, the whole “heart walking around outside your body thing” is difficult… even when they are 18, no longer live at home and “forget” to ring their mother. *ahem* No names mentioned… 😛
Ouchie to the leg… and the guinea pigs – *shudder*
I’ll just ignore the last one… like I do here. 😉
July 1, 2013 at 10:33 am
Wish I had a chaos – of course my entire life is actually chaos!
I bet I will be such a sookie when my kids get older and forget to call me 😦
June 28, 2013 at 10:04 pm
Big hugs to you for pointing me in the right direction – DONE and up on my blog… that took over 2 years!!
July 1, 2013 at 10:34 am
Oh so gotta have a look now!!!! Congrats x
July 1, 2013 at 10:34 am
Tis just fab – LOVE LOVE it!
June 28, 2013 at 10:22 pm
Well done on getting that button! I’ve still yet to learn how to do one! Might just have to have a peek at Rhianna’s post!
July 1, 2013 at 10:35 am
Make sure you do it’s super easy to use – let me know when you do it!
June 28, 2013 at 11:06 pm
Noice work. In the olden days, buttons were what you sewed back on clothes, or for teddy’s eyes. Now there’s a pic of a crazy lady jumping in the air. Four times. What’s happeninnnnnng?!
July 1, 2013 at 10:35 am
I’ll take that as a compliment – I do feel crazy most days! 🙂
June 29, 2013 at 4:45 pm
You are indeed brilliant for the ability to focus on anything at all with those evil red eyes in your vicinity! I once kept guinea pigs…in my empty suitcase, under my bed in my dorm room in boarding school. It was my secret until one got loose while I was at school.
July 1, 2013 at 10:36 am
You are game, they seem so fragile and flighty! I used to keep chips and lollies in my suitcase under my bed at boarding school 😉
June 29, 2013 at 7:31 pm
Baaargh! That photo of your leg looks really painful. Ewwwww. I know what you mean about the kids not sleeping under the same roof as you … and the first time they sleep at my parents house is going to be a tough night for me!! Congrats on getting your button! 🙂 Cheers, Alison
July 1, 2013 at 10:37 am
She was a star and didn’t get upset at all – and I did okay too! Leg on the mend, as long as kids stop kicking me – accidentally I’m sure 😉
June 29, 2013 at 8:04 pm
Totally love your button Em – it’s far cooler than mine!! And you made it all by yourself – impressive!! I got the hubby to do mine and it was another thing on the ‘to hard’ shelf. How did you cope with the sleepover?? I haven’t been there yet – not sure I could………
July 1, 2013 at 10:38 am
Sleep over went really well – she called me every hour or so and then knew I was coming up the next day so was great about it! She and my mum are so close so made it lots easier xx
June 30, 2013 at 7:19 pm
La ya button mate – well done!!!!
July 1, 2013 at 10:38 am
Thanks K – much appreciated x
June 30, 2013 at 8:43 pm
FIGJAM indeed Em! I saw a woodwork workshop with a bunch of kids recently and when I peered in to see what they were making it was guns, didn’t really like the notion of it even though I shot the shit out of everything as a youngun.
July 1, 2013 at 10:39 am
Oh how times and attitudes have changed that’s for sure – there were world wars when we were young – and our parents! And thanks for nice words Matt 🙂 x
July 1, 2013 at 1:41 pm
Look at you with a button! Nice work lady 🙂 xo
July 1, 2013 at 1:48 pm
Thanks hun, now to link it 🙂 x
July 1, 2013 at 11:07 pm
I don’t know how I feel about guns tbh. Now you have made me all thoughtful right before bed time!
Love your button xxx
July 2, 2013 at 1:40 am
Might I start by saying ….. what a wonderful button.
Cowboys and itchybums – loved that game as a kid. Would much rather that game than the games of cowboys and itchybums on a video game were there is blood and gore nowadays.
July 2, 2013 at 9:53 am
Ha! I love your button and when I get a chance to sit in front of the laptop again I will definitely be adding it to my page of blogger buttons!
I love the picture of you girl with the hat, gun and boots. Not that I’m all for the gun but gosh darn she looks cute! When it comes to toy guns I’m in two minds because we were never allowed them as kids but that didn’t stop us from using other things as guns so I’m not sure what to think myself! And yes, I totally fake caring about Dave’s day at work, especially as he is always talking about stuff that I do not understand as I have never actually seen the printing press that he goes in about so it’s hard to give a shit when I have absolutely no clue! But I try!
July 2, 2013 at 8:22 pm
Now i know you have size 10 feet we can be PROPER friends. With our size 10 feet. Except I’m size 11 and I’m in denial. And yes, I pretend. Every day.