Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

Things you’ll NEVER hear me say – and a heartfelt thanks!


Every once in a while someone utters something that totally floors you!

Whether it’s your child loudly telling a random person that: “My mum sometimes has an itchy bum you know, just like me!”

Or hearing those three magic words from your husband/partner… “I’ll cook tonight!”.

I was searching for an image relating to children and worms and mums and this came up - quite funny me thinks!

I was searching for an image relating to children and worms and mums and this came up – quite funny me thinks!

In this vein, I thought I’d share a few things you will NEVER hear me say – and if you do – you have permission to shoot me on the spot.

I can’t wait to do Dry July again.
Seriously, I hate to sound like an old soak, even if the shoes fits, but I did this last year and it was soul-destroying. Seriously what mother, or person for that matter, can cope without ONE DROP of alcohol for 31 days?

So a big kudos to all those doing it, including Pip @ bub sweat and tears and Tegan @ Musings of the Misguided – may the force be with you and I’m glad I don’t have to live with you this month ;).

Aww go on, let’s have another child.
Seriously three is my dash, I’m already suffering from industrial deafness from the amount of screeching, crying and fighting that happens with my lot! Sorry what did you say?

Seriously these kids can pack some decibels! Image source

Seriously my kids can pack some decibels! Image source

Sure I’m fine with the fact you like to spell definitely with an ‘a’ eg definately.

Seriously people – I see it a lot in posts, FB updates and I cringe every time, and don’t even get me started on your and you’re.

No it’s okay, you don’t need to come and look after the kids for me.
When I just had one child I was hesitant to hand her over to my beloved and trusted mum. Nowadays I’ve got the car started and am sitting in it ready to leave as soon as she pulls up the driveway! In fact I don’t think I’ve refused an offer of help recently – you should seriously try it!

I'd even give The Road Runner a run for its money when it comes to leaving the house as soon as reinforcements arrive!  Image source

I even give The Road Runner a run for its (not sure if a boy or girl) money when it comes to leaving the house as soon as reinforcements arrive!
Image source

What is something that you are likely to NEVER say? Or what are words you would be shocked to hear come out of your partner’s lips?

I’d also like to take this chance to say a heartfelt thanks so all of you who gave me advice, encouragement, support and compassion on my post about my middle boy earlier this week!

Nearly 50 amazing people took time out to comment and I wish I had time to thank you all in person!

You’ll be happy to know I’ve started a list of ways to help my precious, sensitive soul became a more confident, happy boy.

I took him out of daycare so he could go to the movie with his sister, she's on school holidays, so couldn't take just him - he had a ball though and laughed A LOT :) :)

I took him out of daycare this week so he could go to the movie with his sister, she’s on school holidays, so couldn’t take just him – he had a ball though and laughed A LOT πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

This blogging community is quite something you know – and I’m glad I stumbled upon it!

Flogging with the lovely Grace @ With Some Grace for Flog Yo Blog Friday!


Author: Have A Laugh On Me

I'm a mum to three, write from home and I rarely cook, craft or clean but admire those who do. I try to live by the mantra that there's no point in worrying about something that might not happen! Be warned this is not a fluffy, sweet mummy blog, rather a place where you can cringe, laugh and be shocked at my brutally honest take on my life.

56 thoughts on “Things you’ll NEVER hear me say – and a heartfelt thanks!

  1. Love it. I will never say the words, ‘I love brussel sprouts.’ Just not going to happen
    As for your and you’re, I saw I accidentally did that on a FB status the other day and I was so ashamed of myself.

  2. Methinks you might have just inspired me to go and write another blog post πŸ˜‰

  3. Oh I agree with you on your list – especially the ‘your/you’re’ bit – that and ‘there/their’ drives me mental! The main thing you’d never hear me say is either “No, don’t top up my wine glass, I’ve got plenty” and “Let’s get up early and watch the sunrise’! P.S. Glad your little guy had a fun time at the movie πŸ™‚

  4. You’ll never hear me say: ‘Hop into bed with me kids’ but they do anyway! We’re very glad you stumbled on blogging too!

  5. It sure is something. I’m glad you are feeling better about your son. I’m with you with definitely and your and you’re also. So frustrating. Something you’ll never hear me say is, ‘Sure you just sit there and put your feet up while I clean the house!’

  6. I don’t drink at all. I thought about doing Dry July just to raise money, but no-one would actually sponsor me. If I promised to give up chocolate, though, they probably would!

    You’ll never hear me say, “Can I drive?” Unfortunately, with the no drinking, I’m usually DD though.

  7. you know that now you’ve said what you’ll never say – you might just say it :). Good to hear that you have a plan in place to help your boy!

  8. I’m with you on those dry months…never ever attempted one and I’m pretty sure I never will.

  9. Hi Em, I’m with you on pretty much all of those. Especially the one about someone else looking after the kids. You’ll never hear me say chocolate? No thanks. Or I’m glad I’m going for a run later to work off all of this chocolate. Not me. I’ll just pick up about 100 toys, that should do the trick. Great post, happy flogging!

  10. No way will I do Dry July. After a cumulative 4.5 years of enforced alcoholessness with pregnancy and breastfeeding, why would I voluntarily do that again! Speaking of which, is it 8pm yet? #vvow

    Something you’ll never hear me say is “Why don’t we play craft inside with lots of sequins and bobbles?!”

  11. Me: No thanks, I’ve had enough chocolate.
    Husband: I’d love to watch SATC all night with you.
    I had to type definitely just to make sure LOL.
    Glad your little guy had a good time. xx

  12. How about there and their and they’re. I’m a stickler about that one but then hide in shame when I do it myself!
    Hope all is much better with your precious boy x

  13. Too funny. I will never say let’s stay up and party all night and watch the sun rise … maybe not until the kids have left home and I get a decent nights sleep, more than 3 nights in a row!

  14. I will definitely never say “Let’s have another kid”.

  15. Dry July…….thought of it makes me cringe (says she reading FYBF with a glass of red) but good luck to all the awesome peeps giving it a whirl YOU ARE SO BRAVE

  16. I will never say “Please, let me wash up.” I’ll do it, if I have to, but I won’t offer! Sorry! So glad you got so much help for your boy. It is an amazing community. x

  17. I will never say, “c’mon, join me in the toilet kids”. Never. Love this post Em – you rock!

  18. I’m definately glad I found you’re blog. πŸ˜‰

  19. Hi Em, sooo funny – thanks for the laugh. You will never hear me say “Yes, sure, I would love to take the kids grocery shopping with me”. I certainly won’t be saying it anytime soon, that’s for sure πŸ™‚

  20. They are all so very, very true! Great post Em! It was good to have a giggle πŸ˜€ Have a great weekend. x

  21. Defiantly…just as bad! That faux word shits me to tears. As for what I wouldn’t be heard saying…anything without a single swear word. Such is the extent of my potty mouth.

  22. I’m with you on Dry July. Sounds like some kind of parental torture to me. I doubt I could even manage dry 24 hours. But they’re all pretty spot on. Thanks for the giggle πŸ™‚

  23. Love all those points Emily – the ‘definitely’ really made me laugh – i still have to stop and think before i say it – something you’ll never hear me say – Gee I’m glad I worked all those years and was really over the moon about putting my child in daycare to do it … never, ever. Still makes me cry.

  24. Hello Emily, it is my first time visiting your blog and l will DEFINATELY ….lol…Definitely be back. I like your obvious humor and l especially liked the crazy photo/banner. I am caught on the hop but a l will try to come up with 3 x things you will never hear me say (apart from here and now)

    (1) Juliar Gillard was such a wonderful Prime Minister
    (2) Whoopee !! the party is over and now l can clean up
    (3) I would really love to go swimming with sharks

    Ok if l come up with any really good ones l will come back and add to my list, thanks again

  25. Very funny – good list, and I agree with them all!
    You’ll never hear me say: “Excellent! A team-building session at work!”

  26. I can definately ( πŸ˜€ ) with “Aww go on, let’s have another child.”

  27. Haaha! Loving the list πŸ˜› Your and top hate for me too – was devastated to see one of the teachers use it at school recently , and stationery/stationary …gah!
    Having a ball trawling through some of your recent posts now that I have been able to come out of hiding, keep up the great work Em xx

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