Five interview questions I’ll be able to nail thanks to death stares, vomiting lunch boxes and five-year-old attitude!

July 16, 2013 by Have A Laugh On Me 58 Comments

Death stares, vomiting lunch boxes and some serious five-year-old attitude – this parenthood caper ain’t a picnic.

On horrific days I dream of blowing this popcorn stand for greener pastures, so I thought it wise to practice my interviewing skills.

See I wasn’t joking about the death stare – seriously it’s rather disturbing right? He gives the Incredible Hulk a run for his money.

And here is the lunchbox vomit – putrid putrid putrid!

FIVE QUESTIONS I’LL TOTALLY BE ABLE TO NAIL DURING A JOB INTERVIEW NOW THAT I’VE HAD THREE KIDS:

1. How have you grown or changed over the past few years?

I successfully managed to gain 25kgs in nine months, and I didn’t just do it once, I did it THREE TIMES!!

My boobs grew to the size of a three-year-old’s head and my feet grew one shoe size – if that isn’t commitment to growing then I don’t know what is.

2. What are your strengths?

I am fluent in changing a swear word mid-sentence, muttering under my breath, sarcasm, white lies and telling off three children in one breath.

My ability to ignore annoying requests is also quite remarkable – especially those that involve craft, cooking and cleaning.

Here is No.3 desperately trying to find himself some food in the dishwasher… with a knife? Nah it’s not a knife (I hope).

3. Are you a nice person?

Sure I am, especially to those who could potentially spit in my food if I moan about their crappy customer service skills.

I will also befriend and bribe buy treats for teachers and childcare workers, it can’t hurt to be a bit of a suck up!

4. What have been your achievements to date?

Oh that’s an easy one – I have totally nurtured and loved three bottles of plonk in one night, and lived to tell the tale!

Just kidding, these three souls are my greatest achievements.

5. Why should we hire you?

Because I said so.

And because if I can survive having 3 kids in 3.5 years, including two boys who give Dennis the Menace a run for his money, then I deserve a psychologist for the rest of my life a shot!

Also, if you don’t I’ll probably get VERY ANGRY – and to quote David Banner: “You won’t like me when I’m angry”.

You totally can’t beat old school Incredible Hulk right? Image source

How would you answer one of these questions? What has parenthood made you good at? Would you hire me?

Another crazy blog post I’m linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess

BTW – did you know I was Blogger of the Mo over at Essentially Jess for June – take a look HERE to find out if I would ride a puppy or a camel!