Wanna join my club where parents can make wildly inappropriate comments and confessions?

July 23, 2013 by Have A Laugh On Me 98 Comments

I might set up a club, not the pole dancing type, the once-a-week meet and drink greet sort.

It’ll be a place where parents can confess their innermost thoughts, have a rant and say exactly what they think without fear of retribution.

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You’ll be handed a bucket of coffee, wine, AND chocolate as you walk through the door to congratulate you for making it through another week of parenting.

The meetings won’t be well publicised or else someone will shut us down for being politically incorrect.

I couldn’t agree more!

Okay so I’ll warm things up a bit with a some things I want to get off my chest.

1. I knew I should have married for money and not love (no offence to the Husband of course).

I don’t need to state the obvious do I?
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2. I often feign a sickness at dinner time because I can’t stand the kids moaning about how much they hate my meals.

3. For a start there I thought a Thermomix was a kinky toy – an expensive one at that!

4. The music is WAY too loud in retail shops these days – I’m trying to buy granny undies clothes not have a fugging dance party!

6. I wish all those organised people would stop trying to motivate me with positive posters and get their butts to my house and do the job for me.

Yes – this is one of my cupboards, any volunteers to come sort it out? Thought not

7. When I said to my son: “I’m going to put you down” I meant on the ground, someone obviously took my comment WAY out of context.

The son I often threaten to “put down”.

8. No shit I’m cranky and look tired, I’ve basically been awake for the past five years with a few four-to-five hour breaks in between where I have been able to lie down and close my eyes.

9. If keeping my kids up later at night meant they’d sleep past 5.15am, I’d fed them blue lollies and throw them a disco party EVERY NIGHT.

10. Don’t be fooled by the cuteness of my youngest, he’s like a member of the Cullen family (Twilight vampire reference), he epitomises gorgeousness so when he rips your head off you are taken completely off guard.

No family is this good looking – well except mine of course.
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Do you have anything you want to get off your chest? Would you be a starter for my club? Are you sick of being woken at 5.15 EVERY MORNING?

Another IBOT with Jess @ Essentially Jess