I’ve always loved stream of consciousness writers, and while I like to think I’m one of them, I’m probably not.
However, for one time only I will be one.
For the next 10 minutes I’m going to share my inner monologue – just for shits and giggles (probably more shits than giggles).
Here are two definitions of “stream of consciousness” according to the ever hilarious Urban Dictionary:
1. The tendency of the human mind to inadvertently jump from one subject to another.
2. The act of daydreaming while you’re peeing.
Behold my verbal diarrhoea – defined by the Urban Dictionary as a:
“Nonsensical verbal diarrhea. Blathering a never-ending stream of craziness at someone who has no interest in and/or cannot understand what you’re talking about without a break in “conversation” allowing for them to politely escape.”
Strap yourselves in – it ain’t pretty…
I can’t stop thinking that the crown I just had fitted to my molar is not quite right because it’s trapping food and that can’t be great – FUG!
Do I call the dentist and go back for more pain? But if I don’t I might regret it because I paid a bloody fortune for it (just kidding husband it was a BARGAIN).
And when will I have the time to go? I have just agreed to write lots of BORING SHIT for various organisations and people because I am not in the position to be fussy when it comes to writing, because I work from home and only have two free days a week without children to try to make an average person’s income!
But that is what happens when you take maternity leave when you’re nearing the top of your game and then refuse to go back because you can’t bear the thought of not being around your baby every second of every day.
Mind you it was pretty shit they said come back full-time or not at all – bastards.
Whatever, I should be grateful that I am able to write from home, and while it’s not breaking (or making) news anymore, it pays the bills. It is also helping out small businesses who need a plug in this tough economy.
But if I did get my tooth fixed, the only day I have is Thursday but then I parent help and there are only two of us in the entire class that do it and if I pull out then our lovely teacher will miss out of valuable help and my daughter will miss not getting the coin I give her to go to the tuckshop when I parent help.
SHIT – okay so I have to go – wonder if they do late nights?
Then if I went at night I would miss out on quiet
drinking time, and then wake up even crankier than I do usually at 4.30 – when the Husband’s alarm goes off.
Man I hate that, I wish I could attach a buzzer to his pecker so he’d wake up when it jolted him, because as soon as I hear that alarm I’m FUGGING AWAKE – yes at 4.30am every morning, then I get three kids streaming in from 5.30am…
OKAY so that is 10 minutes of my head dribble – isn’t my inner monologue boring??
What exciting things are going on in your brain at the moment?