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We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

If you say my name one more time I’m throwing myself under a bus!

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I’m making a new rule for children.

They can now speak to us without US having to acknowledge them, for example, without them having to say our name 15 times IN A ROW.

Hands up if you agree?

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I’m all for politeness when I’m talking to another adult out of the house but…

When we are at home – just ask the BLOODY QUESTION or SHOW ME YOUR FANTASTIC LEGO CREATION!

“Mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum” or “Dad dad dad dad dad dad mum mum mum mum” (because by this time they’ve realised that dad has tuned out and so they revert back to asking mum mum mum mum).

AND for no reason, apart from the fact I like bullet points oh hang that’s right my stupid blog doesn’t have them 😦 , I want to mention a few things for IBOT that are completely unrelated to the above rant:

PROBLOGGER

I’m there – from 8.25am Friday until 5.30pm Saturday! Yes, on Friday I am staying overnight hopefully, if I don’t dutch oven, or try and spoon my bedmate with the lovely Amanda! I will won’t be hard to miss at the conference – and you’ll be relieved sad if you miss drinking with meeting me!

You will totally want one of these suckers to keep your wobbly table from rocking!

You will totally want one of these suckers to stop your table from wobbling!

LOOK WHO IS TURNING TWO?
No, not my blog, my baby! And yes in typical MOTY style (Mother of the Year) I didn’t realise that I would be away on his actual birthday – thankfully no one can count very well at my place so his birthday has been delayed by a day! BOOM!

BOOBS
I asked the Husband if he had noticed my large, loveable muffin belly was getting smaller – he said he hadn’t noticed much (cue sad elevator music). But he did say that my boobs seemed more “deflated” – and welcome to the world of celibacy husband!

The disappearing boobs - they actually don't look too deflated here HUSBAND!

The disappearing boobs – they actually don’t look too deflated here HUSBAND!


SELF-HOSTED
So the next time you ‘see’ me I’ll be self-hosted, I hope!
I’ll be a bit like a teenager who thinks they have LOTS more freedom, but doesn’t quite have the smarts to know how to use it wisely!

I'm a writer not a computer geek - and I have no idea what a cpanel or jetpack is

I’m a writer not a computer geek – and I have no idea what a cpanel or jetpack is so just do it for me!

Do your kids repeatedly say your name until you feel like throwing yourself under a bus?
Are you going to Problogger? Will you be friendly, too cool for school or pretend you don’t know who I am?
Hang on don’t answer that, I’ll find out in three sleeps.

HOPEFULLY my last ever non self-hosted IBOT post – linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess

58 thoughts on “If you say my name one more time I’m throwing myself under a bus!

  1. Oh yes the name thing. Our baby (17 months) has been Mum, mum, mum, mum for weeks (copying his almost 3yo brother who gets louder the more times he says it). Then the other day, the baby started with Dad, dad, dad,dad instead – and I was seriously all hands in the air, woop woop. They probably just thought I was doing Giggle and Hoot’s Funky Owl song.

    I am hoping by next year I can make Problogger AND be self-hosted. It probably won’t be on the GC again though, because that would be too convenient being where I live!

    Happy birthday to your baby 🙂

  2. I’ll ignore you for sure. (I won’t actually be there, so it will be easy to snub everyone).
    Have a blast! (we also have flexible birthdays, and were put to shame when the MAID in Bali gave my son a birthday present and we only remembered to even say Happy Birthday when our then 7 year old (the older brother) told us we forgot. So I’ll grab that MOTY award out of your hands….

  3. That’s great you are going to be self-hosted, heaps better I think. My little boy turns two on Thusday ( he is my youngest and so I’m a bit sad as I want him to stay a baby, a bit silly but they really do grow up too fast don’t they?). Have a great time at the problogger event, nice for you to have a break and learn some bloggy things at the same time 🙂

  4. Deflated boobs??!! Man, your hubby is very brave to utter words like that. Very brave 😉

    Have a wonderful time at PB event and can’t wait to read your posts on it! I’m sure it will be a very fun and enriching time!

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  5. Drives me crazy, I tell them I am changing my name and they need to guess the new one. See you at Problogger!

  6. I wish I was going to Problogger…maybe next year. My little miss loves to say my name and then tells me, “you are annoying me!” and I say “I am ignoring you, not annoying you!” hahaha. Parent of the Year award…goes to….ME!

  7. Not going to Problogger, but I want to live vicariously through all of you, so make sure you tweet regularly to keep me entertained. Drunken tweets, even better! *evil grin*

    Yeah, I’m with you on the ‘Mum, mum mum’ thing. My Mum used to yell at my brother and I “She went mad and they shot her!” when we did it. I finally understood why when I had kids.

    Have a great time!

  8. gahh! jelly about everyone going to pro blogger, but i had my chance and i let it slide.. maybe next year ?

    hahaha deflated boobs, silly hubuendo!!!!

    I thankfully haven’t got the mum mum mums going on yet…. few years to go! But I know it will SHIT me up the wall, when I was a nanny, that did my head in enough “Meggz, Megz, megz, megz, megz” WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

  9. I will respond in point form.
    1) My girls need to learn that Muuuuuuum “Cant do two things at once”. Both of them screaming “Muuuum” simultaneously achieves nothing.
    2) I am so jealous re Problogger as I would love to be able to meet all of you lovely ladies. Sadly there is zero justification for me going to this event as I will never be a “pro” blogger.
    3) Your husband deserves to be put in time out until 2015.
    Have the best time at Pro blogger.
    Loves

  10. I can’t stand the whine in Muuuuuuuuuum! Drives me crazy! And have fun at Problogger.

  11. I have often heard myself saying “Stop Saying Mum!” to my poor 2 and 4 year olds! Not going to Problogger – hopefully next year! Have fun 🙂

  12. I once changed my name to Mrs Snuffaluffagus when the three older kids were toddlers. The little brats practiced and practiced – seriously auto correct is that really the way you spell it? – until they could say it. Brats.

    They did the same with every other name I tried to change mine to. In the end I went back to ‘Mum’ with a newly realized addition to make them stop saying mum when they wanted something…

    Talk to the hand.

    Every time the nagging muuuuuum would be repeated over and over, I simply lifted my hand as if to signal “stop”, and they clicked on. Every time I lifted my hand they’d stop… for all of two seconds before I’d have to do it again.

    Eventually they got it, and it lasts for two minutes these days…. 13 years later.

    The littlies though, they get it and they just stand there staring at me until I see what they want.

    Have fun at PB! And take loads of pics!

    MC x
    #teamIBOT

  13. I have totally deleted my name before – no more Mom – nothing – not responding to anything you call me until you can/do/stop xyz ! Now I’m lucky – she talks to me when she wants but doesn’t do the Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom thing because she knows she will get a crack ! (Now I’ll probably have DOCS on me except she is 21 so maybe she’ll just call the police instead !!!)
    I will definitely be saying hullo when I see you on Friday !!!!! There will be NO shortage of people wanting to meet you – you’ll be a hit !
    Have the best day !
    Me

  14. Ugh yes the mum mum mum mum. I’ll probably be rocking in a corner delirious with all the freedom (child free in the big smoke hello!) but I will totes say hello to you!

  15. Yes, why keep saying it if you’ve already got my attention??!!
    You girls are all going to have the most amazing time at PB, and I’ll be following along on social media. I just couldn’t justify going when I don’t feel like a real blogger yet, but I’m working on it!
    Yay for the self-hosting hun, mine’s getting a makeover at the moment, and I’ll be so glad when it’s done.
    I had to laugh about your boobs (that doesn’t sound right), mine says exactly the same since I’ve dropped a few kgs. Brave or silly, I’m not sure 🙂
    Have the best weekend!!!!!!! xx

  16. Yep! I get that usually from them both at the same time…
    Have a fantastic time with gorgeous Amanda at problogger! Xx

  17. Wish I was going to Problogger and YES, though it is indeed a privilege, I’m quite a bit sick of mumumumumuymumumummmmymmummmmmymmmyuum. Especially after lights out!
    PS Check this out:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8 Funny cause it’s troooooooo! x

  18. Like a typical man I scrolled down to the bit that said Boobs first and then read the rest, bad move Mr HALOM ; ) Enjoy yourself at Pro Blogger, let me know any goss.

  19. Just imagine how the man would react if you said parts of him were deflated! Ha! Imagine too, 5 kids saying mum mum mum and a baby whining in the background…yes, now go forth and enjoy that Problogger event while I suffer more mum mum mum over the weekend!

  20. If I was going, I would be too cool for school 🙂
    Actually, you would have had to stay up quite late drinking with me, so you may be very happy that I didn’t manage to get there.
    Have fun and enjoy.

  21. Sometimes I want to change my name from ‘Muuuuuum’ so I can pee in peace. Enjoy Problogger, and enjoy your belated birthday celebrations with your little guy. I’m missing the gremlins’ 7th birthday as I’ll be at the babywearing conference so they send him their commiserations 🙂
    #team IBOT

  22. Oh yes! I def want to throw myself under a bus some days with all of the mum mum mums and why mummy, but why mummy, mummy why? Just because it is, God damn it 😉 If I was at pro blogger I would totes hang around you like your groupie or something 🙂 Alas, I won’t be there. Make sure you tell us all about it. Love the business cards BTW!

  23. How about, instead of throwing ourselves under a bus, we just hire one with a shit load of booze and do a blogger road trip? Would be so much fun. Have fun at Problogger – so jealous!

  24. Enjoy PB, love. You’ll have a blast. I’m yet to do any blog conference but I’m keen as a keen thing. I just gag the kids, hog tie them and then put on head phones. Too easy.

  25. Well, have a great time at Problogger! And enjoy being self hosted. I’m glad I made the switch – big learning curve, but a worthwhile one. As for the mumumumumumum, people with older kids keep telling me to appreciate it because I’ll miss it one day. I am unconvinced.

  26. I’m already copping the Mum! Mum! Mum! from my 21 month old! Mum! Yes sweetheart? Mum! Yes sweetheart? Mum! Yes Ryder? Mum! What would you like? Mum! What can I do for you sweetheart? Mum! oh FFS….

  27. Have fun at the conference Em and can’t wait to see your self-hosted blog!

  28. Hahaha you crack me up! There should definitely be a law against the repeated use of the word mummy! Have an awesome time at the problogger conference … look forward to reading about it!

  29. Have fun at problogger. Unfortunately i missed out on tickets so wont be there. Happy birthday to your baby. Mine turns 2 next month. Good luck with self hosting. What does that mean? I pay annual fee for my domain name and use wordpress. Am i self hosting?

  30. You know I wasn’t too fussed about missing pro blogger till now. I hope I get to hug you one day!

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