Forrest Gump’s mama got it all wrong – life isn’t like a box of chocolates, it’s like a board game!
Indulge me if you will, while I attempt to associate the names of the below games to what it’s like to be a parent.
What you will be doing from the moment you child is born, whether it’s figuring out how to swaddle them, holding on to a runaway toddler or stopping them from body slamming their brother.
You will also scrabbling for money, to get them to school on time and to explain to your inquisitive kids what ‘adult cuddles’ are.
What happens to your uterus once you have kids, say goodbye to carefree bouncing on the trampoline or laughing without fear!
For dads, this is what will happen to your sex life.
You will also lose your marbles over and over again.
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS
Your life will revolved around feeding, or attempting to feed children.
If you have grazers you should put a stool in your pantry or kitchen and sit there for the entire day because you’ll be asked to hand out food every 30 to 45 minutes!.
It’s highly likely kids will “twist her” around the bend with their questions, repetition of the word ‘mum’ and their ability to poo just as your strap them in their car seat.
Parents will also be twisted and pulled in so many directions that they’ll often end up collapsing in a heap!
SNAKES AND LADDERS
Life is now full of ups and downs and just when you think you’ve got it sussed, you’ll have to start at the bottom and work you way back to the top again!
But there will also be some amazing highs that you didn’t realise existed until you had children.
Most days you’ll have no clue in regards to what you are doing, but if you wing it, trust your instincts and NEVER read parenting books you’ll get there.
There’ll also be days when you’ll accuse Professor Plum of hitting Colonel Mustard on the head with a candlestick – whereas in actual fact it was Colonel Mustard who started the shit fight by tying Professor Plum up with a rope!
A word that you will approx about 5460 times* to your child to your child before they are 15.
Something your partner will be in if s/he wakes up a baby you have spent FOREVER trying to get to sleep.
And if you are wondering why I have left much-loved Monopoly off the list, well it’s because.. I HAVE NEVER PLAYED MONOPOLY – EVER!
Yes it’s highly likely that I’m in the 10th percentile of people my age who haven’t played this game.
That’s my claim to fame and I’m sticking with it!
What board game represents your life right now? What game have you never played? Anyone want to come over and show me the big deal with Monopoly is?
*(I calculated this by the fact you probably say it once a day every day for about 15 years – I’m sure there are days when the word ‘trouble’ is not said at all, but others when it’s used four or five times a day.)
It’s Tuesday, I’m off to the dentist (BOO) but I’m linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess