Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!


If you say my name one more time I’m throwing myself under a bus!

I’m making a new rule for children.

They can now speak to us without US having to acknowledge them, for example, without them having to say our name 15 times IN A ROW.

Hands up if you agree?


I’m all for politeness when I’m talking to another adult out of the house but…


“Mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum” or “Dad dad dad dad dad dad mum mum mum mum” (because by this time they’ve realised that dad has tuned out and so they revert back to asking mum mum mum mum).

AND for no reason, apart from the fact I like bullet points oh hang that’s right my stupid blog doesn’t have them 😦 , I want to mention a few things for IBOT that are completely unrelated to the above rant:


I’m there – from 8.25am Friday until 5.30pm Saturday! Yes, on Friday I am staying overnight hopefully, if I don’t dutch oven, or try and spoon my bedmate with the lovely Amanda! I will won’t be hard to miss at the conference – and you’ll be relieved sad if you miss drinking with meeting me!

You will totally want one of these suckers to keep your wobbly table from rocking!

You will totally want one of these suckers to stop your table from wobbling!

No, not my blog, my baby! And yes in typical MOTY style (Mother of the Year) I didn’t realise that I would be away on his actual birthday – thankfully no one can count very well at my place so his birthday has been delayed by a day! BOOM!

I asked the Husband if he had noticed my large, loveable muffin belly was getting smaller – he said he hadn’t noticed much (cue sad elevator music). But he did say that my boobs seemed more “deflated” – and welcome to the world of celibacy husband!

The disappearing boobs - they actually don't look too deflated here HUSBAND!

The disappearing boobs – they actually don’t look too deflated here HUSBAND!

So the next time you ‘see’ me I’ll be self-hosted, I hope!
I’ll be a bit like a teenager who thinks they have LOTS more freedom, but doesn’t quite have the smarts to know how to use it wisely!

I'm a writer not a computer geek - and I have no idea what a cpanel or jetpack is

I’m a writer not a computer geek – and I have no idea what a cpanel or jetpack is so just do it for me!

Do your kids repeatedly say your name until you feel like throwing yourself under a bus?
Are you going to Problogger? Will you be friendly, too cool for school or pretend you don’t know who I am?
Hang on don’t answer that, I’ll find out in three sleeps.

HOPEFULLY my last ever non self-hosted IBOT post – linking with Jess @ Essentially Jess


Just keep swimming, or trucking, or drinking!

You know those days when you nail it? Me neither.

This afternoon my daughter told me not to call her “a little shit shiz” – something I did under my breath because she was giving me the ‘I’m bored and you’re horrible speech’.

I acted all offended and then told her that I was in fact talking to someone on the computer that I was mad at! OOPS!

I learned my lesson – to speak WAY more quietly.

Does it look like I'm coping????

Lucky I have no shame and a sense of humour otherwise this parenting caper could make you go loopy (note photo bomber in background).

Anyway here is my week in Facebook updates!

1. The kids are annoying me so much I’m about to pour all the milk down the sink so I can leave the house for 45 minutes to go and get some more!

2. “I’m so glad we made our fourth bedroom a kid’s playroom” said no mother ever who now has to do all her work on a computer in the living/dining/kitchen!! FUG IT!

3. FUG! Got up extra early to make food for my son’s daycare party – and got greeted by blank looks – IT’S NEXT WEEK – and now my house smells of yummy food that I can’t eat. PLUS I have to make it again next Thursday – DOUBLE FUG!

4. I just overheard my three-year-old telling his big sister she was a “rock star” – as long as it’s not Miley I’m cool with that.

5. It’s been awhile since I posted amusing search engine terms that lead people to my blog, here are today’s:
*hot men ass (gross)
*chocolate pool (it’s never gonna happen)
*ant in thermomix (you idiot they cost thousands)
*candy crush laughs (umm no, it’s a game, it can’t speak)
*candy crush minty meadow (get a life!!)

I honestly don't make a habit out of calling my children little shits

I honestly don’t make a habit out of calling my children little shits

In other breaking news – I’m going self-hosted soon – so watch this space – just a wee bit excited!


I am a guest blogging today over at Lisa’s Random Acts of Zen blog!

Here I divulge some pretty funny interesting shiz – and you’ll never, ever, ever, get to know this trivial AMAZING stuff about me unless you visit here

So what is the best/worst thing about being self-hosted with WordPress?
Are you surprised by what I told Lisa?
Have you called your child a little shit recently and then felt bad?

Linking and sharing the LOVE with Jess @ Essentially Jess