Have a laugh on me

We're not all in the same boat, some of us struggle to even get in the boat!

Just keep swimming, or trucking, or drinking!


You know those days when you nail it? Me neither.

This afternoon my daughter told me not to call her “a little shit shiz” – something I did under my breath because she was giving me the ‘I’m bored and you’re horrible speech’.

I acted all offended and then told her that I was in fact talking to someone on the computer that I was mad at! OOPS!

I learned my lesson – to speak WAY more quietly.

Does it look like I'm coping????

Lucky I have no shame and a sense of humour otherwise this parenting caper could make you go loopy (note photo bomber in background).

Anyway here is my week in Facebook updates!

1. The kids are annoying me so much I’m about to pour all the milk down the sink so I can leave the house for 45 minutes to go and get some more!

2. “I’m so glad we made our fourth bedroom a kid’s playroom” said no mother ever who now has to do all her work on a computer in the living/dining/kitchen!! FUG IT!

3. FUG! Got up extra early to make food for my son’s daycare party – and got greeted by blank looks – IT’S NEXT WEEK – and now my house smells of yummy food that I can’t eat. PLUS I have to make it again next Thursday – DOUBLE FUG!

4. I just overheard my three-year-old telling his big sister she was a “rock star” – as long as it’s not Miley I’m cool with that.

5. It’s been awhile since I posted amusing search engine terms that lead people to my blog, here are today’s:
*hot men ass (gross)
*chocolate pool (it’s never gonna happen)
*ant in thermomix (you idiot they cost thousands)
*candy crush laughs (umm no, it’s a game, it can’t speak)
*candy crush minty meadow (get a life!!)

I honestly don't make a habit out of calling my children little shits

I honestly don’t make a habit out of calling my children little shits

In other breaking news – I’m going self-hosted soon – so watch this space – just a wee bit excited!


I am a guest blogging today over at Lisa’s Random Acts of Zen blog!

Here I divulge some pretty funny interesting shiz – and you’ll never, ever, ever, get to know this trivial AMAZING stuff about me unless you visit here

So what is the best/worst thing about being self-hosted with WordPress?
Are you surprised by what I told Lisa?
Have you called your child a little shit recently and then felt bad?

Linking and sharing the LOVE with Jess @ Essentially Jess

78 thoughts on “Just keep swimming, or trucking, or drinking!

  1. Ant in the thermomix? That’s total cray 😉 I love reading your FB status updates, it makes me relieved I’m not the only one who seems to be going nuts 😉 See you tonight!

  2. Oh I do love the comment about the milk! That is brilliant. Love your little photo bomber x
    As always, great post to get me laughing this morning Em x

  3. Ant in the thermomix? That’s a thing???

  4. Haha, love it. And yes, I may have called one or more children a petit shit on occasion. Hopping off to check out your guest post. Good luck with the self hosting. X.

  5. Yes, yes, yes on the 4th bedroom playroom thing. WTF was I thinking?

    Love your blog. And the search terms – people are strange. I get some weird ones too. Good luck with the self-hosting. I have been seriously considering it so would love to hear how it goes!

  6. When I read your comment on FB re the milk, I thought, “Shit, I am going to use that”.

  7. I don’t remember who made the milk comment but it really made me laugh. Not a bad idea actually!

  8. Like the milk excuse – need to pinch this one.

  9. I would have donated the goodies to the class anyway! Are you resisting temptation? x

  10. Ah, I always call him a little shit! Seriously, if anyone says they do not, they are lying. As you noted, the trick is to say it very quietly whilst fuming on the inside and possibly smash something which you tell them was an accident 🙂

  11. Saw that milk update on Facebook and I thought it was such genius! But I only live two minutes from the shops so I’m still wondering how on earth to make it a 45 minute trip!

  12. 1. Having to make sure it’s all secure myself. Backing up. And figuring out what plug-ins will work.
    2. Haven’t been there yet.
    3. I call mine little shits all the time. Because they are. The big ones are little big shits. They just tell me that they get it from me… They are so wrong, they get it from their father!

    I haven’t checked my search terms in forever! Must put that on my four page long must do list!! LOL

    Have a fabulous day Em!

    MC x

    • Thanks for those tips Miss C – kinda freaking as I’m a writer not a tech head! Glad you call yours turds also. Have a happy rest of week and can’t wait to read your search engine term blog… in three years! xx

  13. Hahaha you’re so funny! I can definitely relate to wanting to pour all the milk down the sink so I can have a 45 minute “holiday” 😛 just been reading your interview over at Random Acts of Zen. Loved reading your answers 🙂

  14. Haven’t done it. The self-hosted thing. The little sh*ts? Ummm, don’t think so, but I’ve certainly yelled. FAAAA…AAAAR OUT! has probably come out a few times!

  15. Crazy lady, I love it. To be honest I have never thought of making a list of my top Facebook status or tweets. Great idea xx

  16. All I can say is “Thanks for providing my daily entertainment !!! Having one big girl – and only one child – I am often fascinated by the snippets of your life that I read and I say “Thank God It’s Not Me”” !!!
    Have the best day you can anyway !

  17. You are a crack up, woman! Love that loopy photo of you!
    Ooooh, and going self-hosted! Go, you! I’ve been self-hosted WP for almost 2 years now and haven’t looked back!

  18. You are so brave.. I have my space on WordPress and have bought my web address (www.buttonbrain.com) but have chickened out as I got so confused at how to go about the whole deal… so for now I sit on blogspot…. like a big fat chicken !

  19. Yes, but I can’t tell you which one I’m answering ‘yes’ too. You always make me giggle.

  20. TO ! My bad grammar.

  21. I’m self hosted but am too scared to touch too much in fear I will break it all and I don’t have the time to do research to make it better. But I think it works ok so far.

    And I may have got a little frustrated with whingy children this week too, so trying to be better though.

  22. I’m self-hosted on WordPress and LOOOOOVVVVEE it – you will too.

    I can’t believe you call your kid a little shiz … at least you could do what I do and tell her she’s being a real b!tch some times (she just laughs)!

  23. Not self hosted, not necessarily surprised but learned a few things, and not answering due to fear of self-incrimination… 😉

  24. Congrats on going self-hosted Em. Best advice I can give is get some professional technical help for the move if you’re not sure about doing it by yourself.
    Your search engine terms are always so hilarious!

  25. I love your search terms! So much fun!
    Yay for self hosted! That’s a huge step 🙂

    • Umm I hope I can be happy with self hosted soon – I just have to learn more!! But it seems I’m going to lose so much! eg stats, search engine terms, my follow tally eg FB plus blog followers. I just wish I’d done some more research – THANKS J BIRD for the visit – LOVE YOUR WORK xxx

  26. Seriously you will not know yourself with your own little piece of the internet. I think the best thing for me is the feeling of accomplishment every time I manage to get something to work the way I wanted to. I wrote code the other day dude! Worst is the sinking feeling when you type in your web address and it’s gone. Thankfully I have a great host who answers all of my newb questions for me.

    • Sounds like you’ve got it sorted – AND your PB outfit – SHART – I must do that soon! The thought of writing code scares me, I’m a writer not a hater – okay – I meant to say I’m a writer not a coder ; ) 😉

  27. Em – it was so great to meet you tonight and ‘have a laugh’ with you and the other girls. I loved your status update about the computer in the lounge/dining room – I really feel for you. Love the milk rescue mission too. As we talked about, I set up self-hosted from the start but I have to say I have very little recollection of this period – it’s like the tech stuff happened in an alien land and I have banished it from my mind now – but I can try to remember if you really get stuck. Looking forward to meeting up again next week for Problogger and a few more wines (I will make sure to cab it on the Friday night).

  28. Ha! Think I might know a little bit about what inspired the 45 minutes to get milk idea ;D In this gig, cray-cray is never too far away! Xx

  29. Ha! Think I might know a little bit about what inspired the 45 minutes to get milk idea ;D it was at the end of my recent post on domestic tips. Speaking of tips, it was your inspired notion to tip the milk down the sink. In this gig, cray-cray is never too far away! Xx

  30. I call my kids shit biscuits all the time! Great post over at Zen too 🙂

  31. Mmm it was kinda refreshing to hear someone else swears at their child then tells afib about it to them. Makes me feel I’m not alone on this one. x

  32. You are a crack up!! My kids have been walikng around saying “for gods sake” all week as everytime i walk into a room they have trashed (every room in the house) this is what i say!!

  33. I’m laughing to bits. I love your Facebook Status’s. Never called my daughter a little shiz but of course it’s a word that is used very frequently in the plumbing world. When I was an apprentice, I went to a church with our maintenance plumber at the time to unblock some toilets. There were pastors and admin staff milling outside the toilet area and my plumber tells me at the top of his voice, ‘There are shits the size of bricks in those toilets. No wonder they’re blocked’. Some plumbers just like to say how it is.

  34. Nope, not yet, but it’s definitely only a matter of time. I live in fear of the day when she starts talking for real and the first sentence she says is something with a whole lotta four letter words and a few blasphemies for good measure, thanks to mummy’s road rage….

  35. There is always something SO special about ALL your updates dear!!! 😉 xxx

  36. I’ve been self-hosted for… crap nearly 10 years (I know I’m a freaking bloggy dinosaur – I think I made the move from LJ to self hosted wp in 04). You won’t look back, good luck for the move xx

  37. Also, spot the many knives in the background haha! Funny post Em x

  38. That milk status – PURE Genius…. I may use that idea myself when the kids are doing my head in more than usual xx

  39. hahaha, you’re hilarious! Great shot btw. And self-hosted – you’re growing up!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s